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(

rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)

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Without styling and product my hair looks like Darth Vaders 'elmet.
Can you top that?
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:14, 115 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

my helmet looks like Darth Vader

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:17, Reply)

Use the foreskin.

(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:24, Reply)

Darth Vader in a polo neck

(

Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:26, Reply)

nice work

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:27, Reply)

No, I don't think I would be able to make a duller thread.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Oh, I don't know...
Don't sell yourself short.
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:19, Reply)

He could discuss the joys of Milton Keynes.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:26, Reply)

and the cycle paths thereof.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:27, Reply)

and a network of roundabouts, the likes of which mankind has never seen before!

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:28, Reply)

the latest gossip from Buzz

(

djtrialprice, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:44, Reply)

merely telling us something about himself would probably be pushing it

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:28, Reply)

Stop now
I have to bloody work in the god forsaken place! I don't half get through some tyres with all those feckin' roundabouts.....
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:29, Reply)

With styling and product you look like a bender
I would rather look like a sith lord
(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Ha ha good point.
I phrased it a bit gay, my apologies but it was to inspire more discussion/vicious replies.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:34, Reply)

I was only messing
I shave my head, so I look like a thug. A well spoken thug, but still a thug.
(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:51, Reply)

I did that for ten years
Since the age of 15 I have had just two hairstyles: fucking loads or none at all. I cannot abide barbers so these are the only two workable options...
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:54, Reply)

I sometimes wonder if you are my evil twin
My 2 hairstyles (for want of a better less ghey whord) have been long hair and shaven head.

Long hair was great for attracting women, but I love having a shaved head as people hold doors for me and are generally more polite. I enjoy the perplexed look on their faces when I thank them in my reasonably well spoken voice.
(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:03, Reply)

I never once got any shit
at some pretty 'heavy' places and situations with my grade '0', being a pretty large chap as I am. Most useful when up to no good.
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:06, Reply)

I never found that long hair worked in my favour when I was a youth

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:12, Reply)

I shaved my head.
The following morning, just as I got in to work, a colleague pointed at me and shrieked "The Machinist!" before running off giggling.

Thuggishness is not automatic.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:17, Reply)

Mine looks like a bog brush

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:24, Reply)

wtf is "product"
Shirter
(

Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:24, Reply)

~~out~~
~~my hair~~ you
~~Darth Vader~~ a
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Or simply
~~Without styling and product my hair looks like Darth Vaders~~ I'm a fuckin'
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:28, Reply)

Does the young whippersnapper not realise
that he's addressing two senior* members of the League of Flappy-Haired B3tans with this thread?

*_{Not that we're big enough to have any junior members**
**Pffft, I said 'members.'}
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:29, Reply)

The fucking FOUNDERS, no less.
Darth Vader?

'Schmarth Schmader', I say.
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:31, Reply)

So?
No need to get all hysterical. Shirters.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:41, Reply)

Are you the guy with the hat?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:33, Reply)

Eh?
I...own a hat. But I can't imagine I'm the only guy that does...
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:35, Reply)

Sorry, in your photos on myspace
are you the chap in the hat?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:39, Reply)

Ah, well stalked.
Yes, that is me. (Though that photo is a few years old now and I no longer hide the beer gut so well.)
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:42, Reply)

Arf!
See, this has got folk talking. My work here is done.

Party on, dudes.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:31, Reply)

You got us there
Well done, sir_{you fucking helmet}
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:35, Reply)

Helmet
It's just a great word.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:37, Reply)

It is that
I intend to use it more often in conversation.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:43, Reply)

According to Which Insult - 'Helmet' is the new 'Shirter'

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:46, Reply)

But I haven't even had the chance to use the word shirter yet!

(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:47, Reply)

that's because you're such a helmet

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:48, Reply)

I don't find that shirter is vehement enough
it's not satisfying enough to say
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:16, Reply)

How about 'You cunting shirter'?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:20, Reply)

More likely
"analling shirter"
(

Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:22, Reply)

doesn't do it for me
I'm contemplating whether to us "ignoranus" as a double-whammy, "you're a stupid arse" type thing
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:22, Reply)

I have taken to using the term 'dicksplash'...
...in a post-modern way, of course.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:33, Reply)

knob wipe reallllly gets hubbie cross. I use it often.. mainly coz he is such a big gay homo knob wipe. but he is my big gay homo knob wipe.
(a girl called harry, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:40, Reply)

True luv!
So what does he call you?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:42, Reply)

Constable.
As in stubble...
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:50, Reply)

But not as in wide open landscapes?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:52, Reply)

I would like to take full credit
for the re-emergence of helmet (ho ho) as an insult, not only on here but amongst my chums. I pioneered that shit.
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:50, Reply)

Rezpekt!

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:02, Reply)

I have girl hair and have worn a girls clothing after losing a bet.
I'm not sure if that's winning per se.
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:31, Reply)

~~girl~~no pubic
~~losing a bet~~my girlfriend decided she was a lesbian
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:33, Reply)

This is even funnier because it's true

(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:34, Reply)

~~girlfriend~~ boyfriend ~~a lesbian~~ not a homo
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:35, Reply)

Hahahahah

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:42, Reply)

Ask him out

(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:44, Reply)

how do you know
what darth vader's helmet looks like?

are you a shirter?
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:36, Reply)

Morning Benders.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:40, Reply)

that's what I get when I wake up with a hard-on
but I'm lying on my front
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:41, Reply)

It is also the name of a band...
..but they are crap.

Thanks for the info on your morning-wood status.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:45, Reply)

knowledge is power

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:46, Reply)

Breasts are great.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:48, Reply)

So what is knowledge of breasts?

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:54, Reply)

GREAT POWER
Like kitten-powered robots with platform shoes on the mechanical feet
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:56, Reply)

Vague memories of mammaries...
...and lashings of pron.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:57, Reply)

*sings*
"Mammaries are made of this..."
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:00, Reply)

Misty, water-coloured mammaries...
of the way we were...'

Oh wait, is that a different song?
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:02, Reply)

Possibly...
But who cares? There are breasts to be thought about!
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:10, Reply)

I'm more of a bum man
breasts are just sacks of fat with nipples on them, there's no entry point there at all
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:13, Reply)

You've just got to be a bit Welsh about it
i.e., head for the valley
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:14, Reply)

my penis is too small for soapy titwanks
:C
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:16, Reply)

Great!
That's what it is.
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:57, Reply)

Tuggers old boy! How the devil are you?

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:49, Reply)

This bloody work thing is driving me mad.
The expectations are getting ridiculous.

It was so much easier when I was in Atomic Kitten.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:51, Reply)

I know what you mean.
I look back at my years with the Goombay Dance Band with some fondness, these days.
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:56, Reply)

I am serious.
Not only do the expect me to be here during 'work-hours' but they have taken to giving me 'deadlines'.

Absolute fuckers with no sense of style.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:59, Reply)

Mate I have to work on Sunday night, this weekend.
It's a fucking outrage. I'm thinking of complaining to human rights campaigner and uber-shirter Peter Tatchell.
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:03, Reply)

I wouldn't.
He'd only bum you and give you teh AIDS.
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:07, Reply)

Refuse to do it.
Storm into their office, announce you are a Christian and consider Sunday the 'Lord's Day', play RATM at full volume 'Fuck you I won't do what you tell me' and flounce off.

That will show them.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:08, Reply)

Tell them you can't do Sunday
That's dogging night down the scout hut.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:09, Reply)

I heard you prefer it up the Brownies?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:10, Reply)

Ha ha! Beautiful.

(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:34, Reply)

Pffft!

(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:42, Reply)

Was that a slack ringpiece fart?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:48, Reply)

Sir! Sir!
Noel's farted, sir.
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:50, Reply)

And possibly prolapsed...

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:57, Reply)

Motorbike kickstand.
When the severity of the erection renders it impossible to lie on one's front.
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:07, Reply)

Is that of equivalent hardness to
"A pan-handle that could poke holes in a cheap door^[1]"?

_{[1] Viz Profanisaurus Calendar 2007}
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:11, Reply)

Indeed.

(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:15, Reply)

If I flick my hair forwards and dry it with a hairdryer then flick it back without straightening it…
I look like a lion – raaaar!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:19, Reply)

POTD

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:22, Reply)

You alright there mrs?
I always get your POTD... it must be because I'm so great.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:24, Reply)

I occasionally award it to others
but it is mainly you.
This is because your random hilarity makes me guffaw in the office.
You ruddy random, you.
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:26, Reply)

Huzah
Well I'm happy to accept your awards, they make my day and not in an Arnie way! :D

I'm not that random, I just say what's in my brain, other people have these thoughts, they just don't share them... more fool them!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:27, Reply)

I share mine
I did it in a meeting before and I just couldn't stop.
Mine simply worry people though...
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:28, Reply)

That's the thing you do have to learn when to keep them in.
At work I try to act as normal as possible, people don't need to hear me shouting 'there is no Dana, there is only Zool' into the fridge... it would just weird them out.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:34, Reply)

You fucking furries are everywhere.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:24, Reply)

Furries?

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:26, Reply)

DON'T ASK!

(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:28, Reply)

Fair enough
Ooooh are they those people that dress as animals and shag in the woods?! Something like that!?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:29, Reply)

Yes.

(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:31, Reply)

Rudes
!!!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:35, Reply)

I NOES!
Shocking isn't it?
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:35, Reply)

Yep
Odd what people find sexeh!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:36, Reply)

Perverts.
Ban this sick filth, etc.
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:38, Reply)

Indeed
Won't someone think of the children.

Gaz the mods etc etc
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:40, Reply)

Stop thinking of the children you nonce.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:51, Reply)

Like in that Goldfrapp video?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:31, Reply)

yep, here's a safe for work link
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/8355287.stm
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:32, Reply)

Haha Flim
Your 'fursona' is Gina!
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:33, Reply)

Hahahahaha
I'm going to have to kill you now, you know too much!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:37, Reply)

*legs it*
*again*
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:44, Reply)

*Walks slowly but with purpose, like a serial killer in a movie*

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:48, Reply)

ARGH!!!

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:49, Reply)

Ha ha, oh you little innocent thing.
Google it when you get home it's NSFW.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:29, Reply)

You little bugger

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:36, Reply)

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