Broken biscuits
How do they break Maltesers, does a fat girl sit on them?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 8:08, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I don't care how.
They were deliberately crushed and sold by the quarter.
I'm no cheapskate.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 8:30, Reply)

Someone called?

( girlinthehole, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 8:30, Reply)

Mornin hotstuff

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 8:32, Reply)

You got that right girlfriend.
*touches shoulder and makes steam noise*
( girlinthehole, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 8:33, Reply)

The question was not intentionally aimed at you BGB
But who can resist half a custard cream?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 8:36, Reply)

*tries to look like she can resist half a custard cream*

( girlinthehole, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 8:40, Reply)

The ones with only one side have a higher cream to biscuit ratio
FTW
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 8:44, Reply)

Actually I can resist sweet stuff.
But offer me a lump of cheese and I'll be your bitch for life.
( girlinthehole, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 8:46, Reply)

*profers St Agar*

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 8:48, Reply)

Make it Gruyer and I'll bring my own gimp mask.

( girlinthehole, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 8:53, Reply)

We could have a fondue

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 8:57, Reply)

*whimpers*

( girlinthehole, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 8:58, Reply)

Now now
Nothing nasty will happen.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 9:01, Reply)

That was a good whimper, not a bad one.

( girlinthehole, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 9:02, Reply)

Can I copy that to my online CV?
Bestest endorsement I've evah had.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 9:05, Reply)

I was whimpering for the fondue, not you. *laughs*

( girlinthehole, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 9:07, Reply)

We come as a package
I now feel very small
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 9:11, Reply)

1. St Agur
2. Gruyere

x
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 9:29, Reply)

Good Morning Your Montyness
Having a good day, or are you in a bit of a strop?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 9:32, Reply)

Greetings, goodly sir
I'm in a rather good mood, thank you.

I am leaving work at threeish, and am off out for a curry with some people off here. It shall be a little surreal, but I have high hopes of an excellent evening.

More importantly, how are you?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 9:40, Reply)

Well, my head hurt a great deal this morning
But gonz healed it.

Under the cosh at work with lots of impossible deadlines to meet, and my junior is off sick.

Have a good curry. Is Brick Lane still the place to go or has it gone downhill? Its years since I was down that way for socialising, just work visits nowadays.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 9:45, Reply)

Sadly it is fucking terrible there.
Unhygienic, generic shitty food with food colouring and excessive ghee. It's where the city boys who know no better go. I have been (reasonably) reliably informed that two adjacent restaurants actually share the same kitchens - they just have different decor up front.

The smart man heads down to Whitechapel to the almighty Tayyabs, round the back of the mosque. At little further to go for 10,000,000 times better food.

I wish Brick Lane was OK as my home is a short walk from the top of it. Unlucky re the workload.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 9:49, Reply)

Noted on the locale of decent food in Whitechapel.
I was taken to Bricklane in '84 when I was a minicab driver. An MD and his lackies were out on the town and when they wanted some grub in town they wanted to go there. Quite nice of them to take me in rather then leave me in my Cortina (true)

£50 quid tip too.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Very civilised.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 10:14, Reply)

Custard creams are just wrong

Boubons is where it'ss at in the world of sandwich biscuits
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 8:54, Reply)

Have you tried Fox's Crunch Creams?
Now, they are class.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 8:55, Reply)

Are they made with those ginger biscuits?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 8:56, Reply)

I think they do a ginger version
but the other ones are just too nice.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 8:58, Reply)

I can't abide those ginger biscuits

Now I think about it I would happliy seetle for hob nobs as my biscuit of choice
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 9:00, Reply)

Plain, milk or plain chokky?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 9:02, Reply)

Mainly plain
but occasionaly either chocolate variety if I'm feeling decadent!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 9:08, Reply)

I hate the word choccy
But I don't know why.

I also hate the word crumpet, especially when used to describe attractive people of the opposite sex.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 9:12, Reply)

I think this is a class thing
What are the words you would choose?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 9:15, Reply)

I don't think I would shorten chocolate
because the results can only be choc or choccy, the sound of which just grates on me. It reminds me of that annoying comedienne Sarah Millican.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 9:39, Reply)

She is fucking terrible.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 9:40, Reply)

Hmmmmm
Many people on here reduce their words to text speak, which I hardly understand. Very few people speak without using coloquialisms, and the posts on here are really a cross between writing and speech. This means, in my honest opinion that some "slang" is acceptable.

I agree that Sarah Millican is very annoying though.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 10:08, Reply)

Slang, like swearing, enriches the English language immeasurably
I'd say. Id' be lost without terms like 'shirter' and 'helmet'.

Text speak, however, is an abomination.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 10:17, Reply)

I hate I hate when people refer to children as Kids

I have no idea why...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 9:18, Reply)

It's because you fuck underage goats.
PS also, you hate it twice?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 9:27, Reply)

yes, yes I do

(hate it twice that is, not fuck goats)
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 9:35, Reply)

you do not like them
Sam I Am!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 9:40, Reply)

I think 'crumpet'
has an endearingly Carry On-esque quality to it, but it is frightfully vulgar.

At the risk of sounding like a PC bumder, I cannot think of a generic collective term for the opposite sex that I don't dislike intensely. 'Totty', in particular, makes my flesh creep.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 9:31, Reply)

I like the term crumpet.
It can be used for either sex and has an endearing, non sexual feeling about it.
( girlinthehole, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 9:34, Reply)

It's the first syllable
the 'crump' bit. It I hate the way that sounds. Like stepping on snow. *shudder*.

I too hate totty as well and no, I can't think of nice slang to describe the opposite sex.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 9:44, Reply)

Stepping on snow and hearing it compact is one of my favourite things in the entire world
I saw a bit of a documentary about Yellow Stone last night and it was full of beautiful snow; I'm lamenting not being to afford going skiing this year :(
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 9:46, Reply)