BEARS
Last paragraph: it is possible to hybridise grizzly and polar bears to make some sort of über-bear.

Which animals would you hybridise? I'm tempted to try and hybridise carrion crows with ostriches to create a race* of enormous novelty crows.

*_{Possibly an army}
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:29, 83 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Tigers and Monkeys.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:30, Reply)

Any reason?
Or just 'cause it would be funny to watch them having it off?
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:31, Reply)

That...
And imagine Monkeys with tiger claws, and tigers with monkey tails. Going to the Zoo would be BOSS.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:36, Reply)

You're a strange young man
Personally I'd like to see an Englishman crossed with a Danish. That would be freaky weird.
( djtrialprice, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:41, Reply)

Something like this, I reckon...
goremasternews.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/kuato-in-total-recall.jpg
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:57, Reply)

DiT
I've got a bleedin tummy ache.
I'll have no more of that.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:59, Reply)

Tummy ache you say?
Right. Clothes off, hop on and let's have a root around.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:10, Reply)

Aw get the fuck away from my innards!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:12, Reply)

I meant for you to open your mouth.
(Look I have one of those lollipop sticks.)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:13, Reply)

"DAD!"

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:14, Reply)

Kinky chops!

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:17, Reply)

Ha fuck off

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:18, Reply)

Going to the zoo is already pretty good
When I went to Basel Zoo they had MINIPIGS. Or, as the obligatory French translation called them, 'Porc miniature.' Trying saying that in a French accent without grinning to yourself like some sort of loon.

Edit: Just seen Kristine's post and suspect 'minipig' may be the German translation as people seem to know them as 'micropigs' over here.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:42, Reply)

I'd be worried about
Tigers with opposable thumbs and tree climbing ability.
( djtrialprice, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:35, Reply)

They're pretty good tree climbers as it is.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:38, Reply)

www.coey44.org/images/tiger%20in%20tree.jpg
(PsychoChomp, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Yeah, but have you seen them trying to get down?
They go too far and get stuck, you have to call the fire brigade and it's a right old rigmarole...
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:40, Reply)

I've been at a zoo at tiger feeding time
and they'd tied chickens and lumps of other meat to the top of telegraph poles, probably 15-20 feet up.

The tigers were released, ran across the enclosure and jumped pretty much straight to the top, grabbed the meat and jumped down again. All about 3 metres in front of me.

Awesome stuff
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:42, Reply)

I saw that with lions

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:46, Reply)

STOP STEALING MY THUNDER

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:48, Reply)

It's not better
It's just different.
*and lightning too*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:49, Reply)

I know it's not better
it's worse

because tigers are better than lions
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:50, Reply)

Erm, how?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:51, Reply)

Lions are smaller, and they get their women to do all the killing.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:53, Reply)

see, chompy is a man who knows how to rate big cats
tigers are clearly better

also, they are stripy, whereas lions are just boring brown
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:54, Reply)

But they have hairdos!!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:56, Reply)

that's true
but it doesn't make up for all the other ways that tigers are better
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:58, Reply)

I'm not quite sure anyway
I was just playing lion's advocate.
They are the king of the jungle.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:59, Reply)

they don't even live in the jungle!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:02, Reply)

Shut up with the facts
You're ruining everything
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:02, Reply)

you already ruined it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:04, Reply)

Shurrup
I never ruined nuttin
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:05, Reply)

the list of things you have ruined is pretty much the longest thing ever written

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:06, Reply)

RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR
FEEL MY WRATH!!!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:07, Reply)

*steadfastly does not feel your wrath*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:10, Reply)

You exhaust me sometimes

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:11, Reply)

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:15, Reply)

Houselols

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:16, Reply)

*winks*
*trigger fingers*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:21, Reply)

...and bears, oh my!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:45, Reply)

I'm not usually soppy but that picture made of the shot cub made me do a sad face.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:34, Reply)

MTFU
I bet it tastes great
( djtrialprice, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:36, Reply)

frog and micro pig
I could have a green scaly cuddly snouty pet
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:41, Reply)

^this
wins so hard!
( djtrialprice, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:42, Reply)

penguins and butlers
so I could have a penguin butler
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:43, Reply)

OH MY GOD
This wins actually
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:45, Reply)

I concur.
Although we could go one further: if we got a barrista to breed with lots of musicians, and got all the resulting offspring to bugger a penguin, we could breed our own Penguin Cafe Orchestra.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:47, Reply)

Ah I see what you did there
And 'tis good
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:50, Reply)

A great White and a gorilla.
Imagine the POWER.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:48, Reply)

Imagine the COMICALITY
of a gorilla with the head of a shark!
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:02, Reply)

I though the opposite
Sharky lower Body and a gorilla's upper body.

Ace.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:07, Reply)

Would it glide gracelessly through the water?
Or swing (flop) from tree to tree?
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:12, Reply)

It would shoot out of the water...
...and then swing through the trees eating and shagging every creature in it's way.

I call it a Sharilla.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:15, Reply)

Derner derner NER NER
MY SHARILLA.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 27 Feb 2010, 1:22, Reply)

Hello Crow
The animals I hybridised in my stomach last night have been very well behaved; a thankful result as Wookiee and I are currently on the M1.
( thealternativefact, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:50, Reply)

Yoohoo

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:53, Reply)

Wotcher Roots
I plan to be on b3ta more again after next week. Oh yes.
( thealternativefact, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:56, Reply)

Tell me more sweet lies!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:56, Reply)

No, honest.
Moving offices, innit. Instead of my boss seeing my screen, my team will, and they're not allowed to say anything.
( thealternativefact, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:59, Reply)

WIN!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:00, Reply)

Howdy clenders
No plan to render Wookiee unconcious with gas poisoning and use this as an excuse to pull into the hard shoulder and have your wicked way with him then?

(Must admit, despite the stomach pain caused by the ghee-soaked chimera I carried home in my belly, I still woke up needing a good breakfast...)
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:01, Reply)

Hmmm...
Wookiee says that of all the ways he can think of rendering someone unconscious, that one seems most unlikely to leave him with an erection.
:(
( thealternativefact, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:07, Reply)

Really?
I've heard that some people find it erotic. Oh well, you'll just have to try the fumes from the petrol tank instead.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:09, Reply)

I recommend choking him with your hands as well
round the neck. to begin with anyway
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:10, Reply)

Listen you two,
I am not going to choke any part of Wookiee, nor fume him into submission.
He's driving.
( thealternativefact, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:14, Reply)

Good call

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:16, Reply)

If I could cross worker ants with monkeys...
... I would have Bovis shitting themselves.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:54, Reply)

Ha!
*remembers Ted Bovis*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:00, Reply)

Not 'Ted Bovis' homes.
'Bovis Homes'.

I saw Gladys from Hi de Hi once - she was not impressed by a pack of stoned students following her shouting 'morning campers' for 10 minutes, and told us to fuck off.

For a comedienne she had no sense of humour, the Welsh scrubber.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:05, Reply)

I'm with her
You nuisance cunts.
Remember Ted's jarmers!!!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:07, Reply)

I have no recollection of them at all.
Were they sexeh?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:08, Reply)

They were busily-patterned

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:10, Reply)

Lots of stains?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:11, Reply)

No.
Paisley I think
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:12, Reply)

Ducks and Duck-Billed Platypii.
Just to see if there'd be any change.

Also:

Elephants and Kangaroos
Hippos and Badgers
Whippets and Sloths
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:02, Reply)

You need friggin help you

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:03, Reply)

*helps DiT with frigging*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:05, Reply)

everyone knows what you get if you cross an elephant and a kangeroo

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:04, Reply)

What is it?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:05, Reply)

Bigger Umbrellas.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:06, Reply)

big holes all across Australia

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:06, Reply)

God help us all

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:10, Reply)

Clams and pigs...
...would be fucking delicious.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 16:11, Reply)