Let's go out on a date, where you taking me? What will happen?
It's a first date, by the way, unless you're the one person I've had a date with reading this, in which case, it's our second, and I'm sorry about what happened last time.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 17:55, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

To begin with I'd bring you a gift, probably a basket bundle of condiments.
Then I'd drive you through George Washington National Park where we'd go to Elizabeth Furnace and have a picnic lunch at which you could use your handy dandy gift basket.
We'd chat and pack up, probably go for a walk and climb some trees.
If it's warm enough we can swim in the river, then dry off and sip some wine [you could sip the wine since I'll probably be driving].
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 18:03, Reply)

or I would take you to the cellar, which is where most of my dates go.

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 18:10, Reply)

A lovely time will be had by one.
Our first date? I will come to your place and you will cook me my favourite meal. Beef stroganoff with pilav rice.
We will wash it down with something interesting (mango J2O and vodka perhaps?).
Then we can have grilled fresh pineapple crusted with a mix of brown sugar, cinnamon and nutmeg (no starters, don’t want to put the cuddling off too long).

Then it’s off to your patio, the decking of dreams to watch the sun go down over the Garden of Death.
We’ll share a brandy or two with some nice Mexican coffee and a mild Honduran cigar.
You’ll look deep into my eyes and say the words I’ve longed to hear “I love you more than puppies.”
I will blush and act all coy, twiddling with my moustaches and patting your hand gently.
We will go back inside and I will invite you to the bathroom where I will strangle and dismember you in the shower.
Your head I will leave to simmer on the stove (low heat, don’t want that gorgeous baby face spoiled) for someone else to discover.

Then I’ll go home for a wank.

Yours,
Dennis Nielsen.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 17 Mar 2010, 18:13, Reply)

Weatherspoons until we're thrown out
then KFC
Then back to my place for as close to sex as we can get before one of us passes out.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 18:22, Reply)

p.s. you're paying.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 18:24, Reply)

you'd better get your waps out

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 18:27, Reply)

I'd fuck you
you'd like it.
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Wed 17 Mar 2010, 19:03, Reply)

it will involve
axes, mud and gaffer tape
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 19:23, Reply)