All right, here are the criteria
The insult must be

1. Inventive
2. ORIGINAL, Noel, pearoasts will not suffice
3. Something Anne Robinson could feasibly say and have broadcast on the BBC
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 14:55, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

the last one's the tricksy one
we're used to proper tasty language on here
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 14:56, Reply)

Hence the challenge :-)
Might suggest it as a QOTW
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 14:58, Reply)

It's not hugely original
but you could call her a cranberry. She'll think you're using harmless slang and a small amount of the population will know you're calling her a cunt.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:00, Reply)

THIS!
in-jokes on TV FTW
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:01, Reply)

ask her if she's ever been to Dunstable

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:04, Reply)

hahahahaha

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:10, Reply)

This is the best answer here.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:12, Reply)

One out of three ain't bad.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 14:57, Reply)

So...
I wouldn't even harvest your tears to use as lube whilst my husband desperatly attemps to get hard whilst gazing into my stoney dead eyes and horrific triffle hair whilst I make small talk about how the gardener isn't trimming my bush properly

is probably voided by point 3?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:03, Reply)

Yes
But thank you for typing it
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:24, Reply)