Wow
Now I have four, possibly five, failed driving tests to my name, but this woman makes me look like I'm just not making any effort at all:
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/oxfordshire/8618414.stm
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:38, 46 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've never even tried to learn, I confess.
*gets lift*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:43, Reply)

I enjoy driving
and it was pretty much essential living in a small village in rural Devon.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:44, Reply)

How can you have the coordination to play the guitar
but can't drive a car? I only ask as I found driving pretty easy, but the guitar was the equivilant of particle physics.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:48, Reply)

It's not that I can't drive a car
I think I've had enough lessons and enough tests that I'm probably a pretty good driver. But every time I get out there, I make one mistake and that's apparently sufficient to fail me.

Seriously - the third time, I failed because I looked over the wrong shoulder while on the reverse stage of a three-point turn.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:50, Reply)

this may come as a shock
but playing the guitar and driving are not only about coordination
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:50, Reply)

Playing guitar is like making love to a beautiful woomaaaan

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:52, Reply)

it's about as far from that as you can get

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:52, Reply)

you've got to keep doing it
until the skin on your fingers blisters?
( djtrialprice, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:53, Reply)

No, you have to use your mouth like Jimi Hendrix
Oh hold on, he used his teeth. Ouch.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:00, Reply)

Hahaha
'at the climax, you swing her around the room and smash her up, then set fire to her'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:03, Reply)

That's the one!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:04, Reply)

'Jimi-ing' just moved 'space docking' to no.2 (pun very much intended)

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:12, Reply)

;)

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:19, Reply)

How do you drug a guitar?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:54, Reply)

Great fun when it's you doing it,
but when you can hear your neighbour doing it every night and you're not, it becomes upsetting?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:55, Reply)

Fund?
Question mark?

Punish yourself Monty!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:56, Reply)

I'm saving up for one
EDIT I defend the question mark, though. In the context of the other replies it is correct.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:57, Reply)

The question can remain, it doesn't read all that nicely though.
It reminds me of Australians.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:59, Reply)

Ugh. For that, I sincerely apologise.
'Australian quizzical intonation' is one of about 96 billion things that really, really fuck me off.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:01, Reply)

Higher or lower on the list than David Bowie's face?

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:11, Reply)

Lower, by quite a long way,

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:12, Reply)

I know but there must be some cross over with regrds to getting your fingers/feet/hands in the correct places

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:54, Reply)

I'd say the similarity of the two
is to persevere even though it feels like you're getting nowhere. Eventually all the stuff you find hard becomes instinctive.
( djtrialprice, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:55, Reply)

This is certainly true of my massive erection.

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:58, Reply)

He said 'instinctive'
not 'stinking'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:02, Reply)

But I washed it and everything.
A bit of spit and polish and it will gleam beautifully...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:06, Reply)

Tried once, didn't like
*gets taxi*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:49, Reply)

I couldn't live without my car

My own space, leaves whenever I do, warm in winter, cool in summer, whatever music I like. It's actually one of my favourite places, a little bit of protected space from the modern world.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:51, Reply)

^
theeees
( djtrialprice, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:54, Reply)

A crazy gay one?

( djtrialprice, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:52, Reply)

Hey - don't put yourself down!
And you can't be all that gay, can you?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:54, Reply)

Darth Foxtrot gay I'm afraid
We had the bum swabs back this afternoon, riddled with sperm they were.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:55, Reply)

hahahaha
No, my car is named Crazy Gay Taxi and looks like this: upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/eb/Hyundai_Coupe_2002_cropped.jpg
( djtrialprice, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:57, Reply)

It has been rechristened The Cougartron though :)

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:02, Reply)

Fo sho
I go round blastin' out speed garage picking up cougars innit ;)
( djtrialprice, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:04, Reply)

mm-tsss mm-tsss

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:04, Reply)

CSI: offtopic
Rooting out shirterdom wherever it may infiltrate*

*_{Usually the bottoms of unsuspecting young men}
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:57, Reply)

Good on you sister.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:53, Reply)

You can't read or eat cobs if you're the driver
Suckers
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:03, Reply)

Exactly.
Or sleep. Or drink heavily.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:07, Reply)

Well you could...
No. You couldn't.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:08, Reply)

Nor can you repeatedly ask
"ARE WE NEARLY THERE YET?"

At least, not without looking a mite odd.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:11, Reply)

You can piss yourself though

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:12, Reply)

I don't need to be in a car to do that

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:15, Reply)

I miss driving.
I won't be able to drive myself anywhere for another month at least, thanks to the cast.

I had to go for the test three times myself. The first time I didn't come to a complete enough stop at a sign, apparently. The second time the car refused to start and had to be towed to a mechanic. The third time the woman took one look at me, chuckled and passed me from sheer pity.

My sister, though, legitimately failed six times. She's over 50 now and I still won't ride in anything that she's driving.
( Wanderer, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:14, Reply)

The test here is easy.
In the UK I failed 3 times, passed 1st time here with zero faults.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 20:52, Reply)