Fucking hell.
Mentalex (tm) is now back from a scan, and is carrying TWINS. Non-identical twins.

My head hurts. If only I had some 'Ian Dury and the Blockheads' LPs I could listen to - they would surely help.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:20, 67 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Maybe one of them is yours

(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:21, Reply)

Anyway, use spotify grandad.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:21, Reply)

Shan't.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:29, Reply)

an' ir
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:30, Reply)

Ok then go on ebay,
find the record you want wait 2 weeks for it to be delivered and find out that it's scratched.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:30, Reply)

WILL DO!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:30, Reply)

stop putting TM
no one wants to copy that anyway.

EDIT: Sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me today, I'm in such a nark.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:21, Reply)

Loads of people copy everything I do.
I'm a trendsetter.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:22, Reply)

et hir
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:29, Reply)

*sniggers*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:30, Reply)

You haven't knocked her up AGAIN, have you?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:21, Reply)

Not guilty thank Christ.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:30, Reply)

If it didn't make things massively more complicated for you
I would totally wish that they had different fathers. And that one of them was black to make it extra obvious that she's a slag.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:22, Reply)

Double the pain to her fanny when spouting them out
upon this world..
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:23, Reply)

They'll be sunroof jobs for definite, like our daugher,
She's fucked from diabetes and there's the risk all that pushing would make her blind.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:30, Reply)

Then she'd be even MORE indiscriminate and the cycle would never end.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:30, Reply)

Pah. Non-Identical twins are *rubbish*.
Only one exception - if one is Danny DeVito and one is Arnold Schwarzenegger.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:24, Reply)

Or like it was at my school,
one is a boy and a good friend, the other is a super hot girl!
(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:31, Reply)

I'd be completely unrelated to them
so in 16 years time I could do a Woody Allen and marry the girl. That would be the coldest-served dish of revenge EVER.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:32, Reply)

I don't think your daughter will be a big fan of you fucking her younger sister.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:35, Reply)

I've not thought this through, have I?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:36, Reply)

No, but you've got 16 years of planning ahead.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Quick!
To the flip chart!!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:41, Reply)

It's all about the powerpoint now flimflam

(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:45, Reply)

and MS Project
if he is going to plan this thing properly
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:46, Reply)

But... but...
Don't you want a spider diagram or a mood board..?

*hovers with a marker pen*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:48, Reply)

I'm just brainstorming here,
there's no such thing as a bad idea
lets try to get the mood of the room
(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:50, Reply)

Blue sky thinking?
That's what I'm thinking!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:50, Reply)

I'm thinking this has got to be a participation intergration solution.
It's 2010 NOT 1910!
(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:52, Reply)

Shall I push the envelope?
*pushes*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:53, Reply)

I think we're going to have to wait until phase 4 before we push the envelope.
Lets grab the low hanging fruit and aim for the stars.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:54, Reply)

I think we need a champion to action those things
let's run them up the flagpole
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:56, Reply)

Good plan
I'm going to go and think outside the box for a bit, see what flies?!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 16 Apr 2010, 16:00, Reply)

bring me some solutions and I'll salute them

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 16:02, Reply)

Sounds like a plan!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 16 Apr 2010, 16:09, Reply)

But I don't want to grab Vipros.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 16:00, Reply)

that's a bare-faced lie and everyone knows it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 16:03, Reply)

and
i want to see your sketchbook WITH research and evaluative annotation in by Monday

/work mode
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:50, Reply)

*salutes*
But of course, I'll also bring the 'inspiration' doughnuts in with my report!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:52, Reply)

the next student who brings me
inspiration doughnuts gets an automatic 'A'
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:58, Reply)

Wicked
Inspiration doughnuts are the best kind of doughnuts in my humble opinion! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 16 Apr 2010, 16:06, Reply)

super hot girl startlingly unconvincing transvestite who ensured my teenage years passed in a haze of confusion and self-loathing.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:33, Reply)

That would be ah-mazing!
Then we would have to separate them at birth and then bring them together again in their 30s/40s for comedy gold and a soundtrack by Philip Bailey!

'TWINS, the magic just never ends'
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:36, Reply)

Harumph!
Fraternal twins for the win!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 17:21, Reply)

i don't think
that you'd fully appreciate his "earthy humour"
( Kroney, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:25, Reply)

which one's the evil one?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:27, Reply)

the mother, obviously.
Keep up!
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:30, Reply)

IAN DURY.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:31, Reply)

I liked that duet he did with David Bowie.

( thealternativefact, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:45, Reply)

'Reasons to be Bowie, part 3'

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:46, Reply)

'Shit! Me with that awful dick'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:46, Reply)

So what you are effectively saying there
is that you want bummed good and proper?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:47, Reply)

No.
I'm saying even a cunt like Dury would exclaim in horror at the prospect of recording a song with 'Gay-vid Joey'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:51, Reply)

Poli Oh! Pretty Things

( thealternativefact, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:51, Reply)

Oh dear, Monty
Your life is like a substandard soap opera at times, isn't it? Only without the 'amusing' slightly effete male character because a large proportion of your audience are middle aged gay men that need to be pandered to. Or the additional angst at Christmas in order to get the ratings and remind everyone else what a fucking great life they lead in comparison to the poorly drawn stereotypes on the telly.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:41, Reply)

yeah, they dumped the 'amusing' part and went for wholesale effete

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:43, Reply)

Good comedy takes a lot of effete

(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:45, Reply)

NO, NOT THE PUNS AGAIN!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:47, Reply)

Eh?
He is the 'amusing' slightly effete male character.
( thealternativefact, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:44, Reply)

Well I've never met him, so am poorly informed on the subject.
One day, perhaps. Like the next time we're in London village.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:45, Reply)

It truly is.
She's saying that if she goes through with the pregnancy she'll have to move to near her family in order to cope. Whilst I completely understand this, it would then mean my daughter will be moving to Canterbury.

*hits self with rhythm stick*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:50, Reply)

that would be shit
you could start referring to the ex as the Arse-bishop of Cunterbury though

which is worth its weight in gold
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:55, Reply)

I have referred to her family as
'The Canterbury Fails' before, which I rather liked.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:58, Reply)

nice

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 16:02, Reply)

You're like Eastenders...the man
ever wish you hadn't agreed to treat her other offspring the same? Because this isn't over, there's bound to be some more twists.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 16:34, Reply)

Tell me a-fucking-bout it.
I am quaking in my boots.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 17:01, Reply)

Oh my God.
Can it get any worse???
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 17:29, Reply)