I should be the presenter of a history programme
I would make TOUGH ROMANS and VIKINGS appeal to all. I'd have FEMALE FANS flocking to my spin-off Roadshows, enamoured of my no-nonsense presenting style and decadent good looks.

Sample: 'The ancient Greeks were fucking benders. That said, the Delphic Oracle managed to get high on bay leaves which, dear viewers, I can tell you is NO MEAN FEAT.'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 16:51, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'd watch that

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 16:53, Reply)

Would you mind if I use your endorsement for my pitch to C4?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 16:54, Reply)

go ahead
feel free to use the following
"so good it'll make you shit yourself" - Vipros
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 16:56, Reply)

^ this is exactly what I'm looking for, cheers!
"so good it'll make you shit yourself, eat the shit, then shit THAT shit out, and then eat it again" - Vipros off of THE INTERNET
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 16:59, Reply)

And the Romans too
I'll never forget in the museum of the Coliseum, a vase with drawings on it. Drawings of an orgy. Without women. With a dog. The dog was giving and receiving at the same time, and everybody seemed to be enjoying themselves.

What a great thing to leave for the future generations.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 21 Apr 2010, 16:54, Reply)

EXACTLY.
Ancient dog-porn: a show in itself, right there.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 16:55, Reply)

It's what I pay the license fee for
wait, I don't pay the license fee. I would for Monty doing an ancient dog porn show, though
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:00, Reply)

porn show
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:09, Reply)

yes
this also
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:10, Reply)

*taps nose*
Be in London Fields, 5pm Saturday. That's all I'm saying....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:23, Reply)

On which note,
just think what b3ta is leaving for future generations. Can you imagine the Tony Robinson/Simon Schama equivalent in 200 years' time, unearthing this from the annals of some interweb archive?
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:13, Reply)

n
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 22 Apr 2010, 8:42, Reply)

Vikings are awesome
I claim them as my heritage. Therefore I am allowed to cunt everyone in the fuck and steal their chips. It's what a viking would do
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 16:57, Reply)

my heritage too
so we should probably team up and do that
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:00, Reply)

YEAH!
cunt all the fucks! steal all the chips! Sing all the Led Zepplin!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:01, Reply)

"I come from the land of the ice and snow...."

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:02, Reply)

And mine. RAAAAAAARGHHH!


*rapes nun*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:04, Reply)

one day I plan to learn to sing opera
wouldn't be long before I got cast as some kind of Valkyrie
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:36, Reply)