Going to da beach this weekend, had planned on hitting up the Indian restaurant.
They have amaaaaaazing food.
Apparently they're "closed for repairs" whatever the fuck THAT means.
What's made you sad today?
Alt. question: What tv channel/show should you be on and why?
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 16:44, 70 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Nothing!
today is a happy day.

Also, listening to Them Crooked Vultures Josh Homme has one sexy voice.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 16:50, Reply)

whom?
HURRAH FOR HAPPY DAY!
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 16:52, Reply)

Fonzie for president!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 16:54, Reply)

CORRECTAMUNDO

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 16:57, Reply)

I definitely need my own show on Food Network.
Kristine's Kitchen or something equally clever.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 16:50, Reply)

I should be the presenter of a history programme
I would make TOUGH ROMANS and VIKINGS appeal to all. I'd have FEMALE FANS flocking to my spin-off Roadshows, enamoured of my no-nonsense presenting style and decadent good looks.

Sample: 'The ancient Greeks were fucking benders. That said, the Delphic Oracle managed to get high on bay leaves which, dear viewers, I can tell you is NO MEAN FEAT.'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 16:51, Reply)

I'd watch that

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 16:53, Reply)

Would you mind if I use your endorsement for my pitch to C4?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 16:54, Reply)

go ahead
feel free to use the following
"so good it'll make you shit yourself" - Vipros
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 16:56, Reply)

^ this is exactly what I'm looking for, cheers!
"so good it'll make you shit yourself, eat the shit, then shit THAT shit out, and then eat it again" - Vipros off of THE INTERNET
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 16:59, Reply)

And the Romans too
I'll never forget in the museum of the Coliseum, a vase with drawings on it. Drawings of an orgy. Without women. With a dog. The dog was giving and receiving at the same time, and everybody seemed to be enjoying themselves.

What a great thing to leave for the future generations.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 21 Apr 2010, 16:54, Reply)

EXACTLY.
Ancient dog-porn: a show in itself, right there.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 16:55, Reply)

It's what I pay the license fee for
wait, I don't pay the license fee. I would for Monty doing an ancient dog porn show, though
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:00, Reply)

porn show
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:09, Reply)

yes
this also
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:10, Reply)

*taps nose*
Be in London Fields, 5pm Saturday. That's all I'm saying....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:23, Reply)

On which note,
just think what b3ta is leaving for future generations. Can you imagine the Tony Robinson/Simon Schama equivalent in 200 years' time, unearthing this from the annals of some interweb archive?
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:13, Reply)

n
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 22 Apr 2010, 8:42, Reply)

Vikings are awesome
I claim them as my heritage. Therefore I am allowed to cunt everyone in the fuck and steal their chips. It's what a viking would do
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 16:57, Reply)

my heritage too
so we should probably team up and do that
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:00, Reply)

YEAH!
cunt all the fucks! steal all the chips! Sing all the Led Zepplin!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:01, Reply)

"I come from the land of the ice and snow...."

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:02, Reply)

And mine. RAAAAAAARGHHH!


*rapes nun*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:04, Reply)

one day I plan to learn to sing opera
wouldn't be long before I got cast as some kind of Valkyrie
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:36, Reply)

similar to Kristine's idea
but I had this ages ago.

I'm going to have a cookery show with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, called "Do you smell what The Rock is cooking?"

conveniently that is the lyric of his entrance music from the wrestling.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 16:52, Reply)

Seeing as I only woke up an hour ago,
and have just had coffee and a bacon sandwich, it's good so far.

TV programme? Hmmmmm......I should be on Fox 11/Good Morning LA news channel so I can report real news instead of the vacuous (sp?) shit that Dorothy Lucy and Gillian *bobblehead* Barberie spout.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 16:57, Reply)

I've just been asked to step in and compere a burlesque night but I am already doing something :(
I hope someone's sick again on some future occasion when I'm well.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 16:58, Reply)

compare the burlesque night
dot com
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 16:59, Reply)

Haha, eh up Camelchops!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:00, Reply)

evening - you good?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:01, Reply)

yeah
just a bit regretful, but hopefully he'll ask me again when I'm NOT going out to dinner and when I've shaved my legs ;)
How is your cakey self?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:02, Reply)

That sounds like fun!

( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:00, Reply)

I would be on a show called "Burying people in concrete for beginners"
It would be a magazine format, with articles about just standing in cement, to the full blown disposing of difficult geezers in a motorway bridge. I would have guest buryers, and famous buryers from the past. It would have a top tips section, covering stuff like stopping floaters, and getting a nice surface in the dark.

I can think of a whole series full of participants.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:09, Reply)

you could have
acid bath corner, for those difficult removal jobs
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:10, Reply)

A spin off show maybe.
I'd like to keep it hardcore.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:16, Reply)

It's good you have
a concrete idea
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:19, Reply)

Ha Ha
I'm glad you spotted it.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:20, Reply)

yeah
i had to work hard on a reply, there's not many concrete puns
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:22, Reply)

with weekly tips from Fred West
delivered via a Ouija board...

(the incidental music for the link would be 'Freddie's Dead' by Curtis Mayfield)

I sometimes think I've missed my calling.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:16, Reply)

Yup, that's good.
It could be sponsored by Jewsons.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:17, Reply)

"'Burying People in Concrete'
is sponsored by Jewsons - builders of Auschwitz"
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:22, Reply)

nice

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:23, Reply)

Don't forget, the Nazis killed gypos and mongs too.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:26, Reply)

As if I would.
And also benders. Quite the 'ethnic Domestos', weren't they?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:30, Reply)

Quite so.
have you seen Conspiracy?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:35, Reply)

I've not, no.
I have seen 'The Colditz Story' though. And 'The Eagle has Landed'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:47, Reply)

Well, you should.
It's about the Wannsee conference.

And I know you are taking the piss.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:50, Reply)

I see conspiracy everywhere I fucking look
those bastards are all out to get me....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:51, Reply)

Too much blow

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:57, Reply)

I know, but I just can't suck

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:57, Reply)

Evening all!
Crap as it is on tv, I wouldn't mind having a crack at the Total Wipeout course.
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:36, Reply)

being punched in the face and falling in water?
I'm sure you could get that by pissing off the chavs round swansea bay
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:39, Reply)

But that wouldn't be a splashy fun physical feat, with comedy balls.
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:41, Reply)

well I'm sure you could find comedy balls round there

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:42, Reply)