do you live at the house?
even if not. it's not her place to order you around. cunt her in the fuck.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:14, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have my own flat
But we live together in both places until he can rent the house.

You are right, it's not her house to say anything, but the bf doesn't want to upset her, so I'm having tea on my own today.

At least I can do with some me time. I'll make the most of it!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 13:16, Reply)

considering you're his current he should care more about not upsetting you

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:59, Reply)

precisely
it's not like she's a recent ex either.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:02, Reply)

Agreed
If she broke his heart she has no right to dictate who he spends time with when she's around, least of all you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:17, Reply)

As I said
He doesn't want to upset her. This is not one of the worst things he's done for her, so I think I've got used to it. At least, it doesn't happen very often.

She's depressed and very unhappy, and he tries not to make things worst.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 13:19, Reply)

Bitter
I have been in a similar situation some years ago.

My then GF decided that ex-GF (who was breezing into my life (I hadn't changed the locks and she let herself in at 30 minutes notice) to "pick up her stuff from my place") should be made to feel unsettled and thus was performing a sex act on me when ex-GF walked in and throughout ex-GFs visit.

It felt weird for ex-GF and felt extremely uncomfortable for me: I wish that she (then GF) hadn't done it but she felt bitter and believed that the bitterness she felt was shared by me. It wasn't.
(JohntheDane, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:33, Reply)

Wow!
I don't think I could do anything like that!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 13:41, Reply)

You bring shame upon Denmark
...if that's where you're really from.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:41, Reply)

?
Why would I not be Danish?
(JohntheDane, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:07, Reply)

It's well known
that Danish people are a fabrication by the Viking industry.
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Tue 11 May 2010, 17:11, Reply)

You can't admit to that on here!
Al the meat monster would fry you up and eat you.
You must be correctly branded though.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 11 May 2010, 17:35, Reply)

Why when anyone asks advice here
the advice generally encourages a stubborn stance that will provoke some sort of conflict?
(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:18, Reply)

Said advice is a reflection on the characters of those who inhabit OT
and this should come as no surprise to you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:20, Reply)

here's pictures of that thing I went to on friday that you wanted to come to.
www.facebook.com/#!/album.php?id=100000018845352&aid=22146&s=0&hash=a9e881446500a039d844d92278c09bc8
(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:25, Reply)

Was that the Blitz party?
They send me their events and every time I can't go.
I might dress the bf up in a uniform and drag him to the next one. Are they fucking awesome?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:28, Reply)

No it was a thing run by some friends called Dollar Shake
it's usually a 50's 60's night but it was a one off VE day celebration.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:30, Reply)

I'd like any retro thing
But I REALLY want to go to a Blitz Party
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:30, Reply)

Well you should live in Milton Keynes then.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:31, Reply)

They're in London
But I passed Milton Keynes on the train and saw a nice quainty bit and thought I could possibly bear it.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:32, Reply)

There's plenty of nice quainty bits in MK
like this
(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:34, Reply)

I'd never seen them before
And people I've known from there have only ever moaned about how ugly and boring it is
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:38, Reply)

OMG, AN OLD CHURCH!
I've never seen one of those before. Milton Keynes must be super awesome!!!1!!
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:41, Reply)

That's some subtle sarcasm right there.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:45, Reply)

I do my best.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:48, Reply)

You don't have to impress me.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:50, Reply)

Why do you assume I'm trying to?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:51, Reply)

it's the most logical explanation

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:01, Reply)

Nothing I do has a reason.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:03, Reply)

that's a really awkward sentence

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:06, Reply)

ZING

(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:08, Reply)

At least I can spell sentence correctly.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:11, Reply)

can you spell vanity?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:13, Reply)

shut up

(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:15, Reply)

Better than Psychochomp can.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:15, Reply)

his grasp on the language isn't up to much
I'd gauge his ability to be somewhere below that of a scouser
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:16, Reply)

That's poor.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:20, Reply)

So are scousers.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:22, Reply)

Vanity

(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:03, Reply)

Fucking stupid work firewall
I'll have a look at home later, thank you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:43, Reply)

Well, I'm not going to confront anyone
I just can't understand why she's acting like that and why he allows her to do it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 13:21, Reply)

Meh, it's not like she's going to be around all the time.
She sounds like a bitch so it's best to avoid her.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:23, Reply)

I agree
That's why I ignore her.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 13:27, Reply)

you answered both those questions:
"She's depressed and very unhappy, and he tries not to make things worst."
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:24, Reply)

I know
It's only that sometimes he tryes so hard to be good with her that I feel a bit on the side.

I know it's only going to get better, and things have improved a lot since the last summer.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 13:28, Reply)

I wouldn't have her in the house alone with him
just in case she started doing the whole crying so he'll comfort her and then she can facerape him thing.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:48, Reply)

I'm worried enough about that
Every time they meet (a lot less often these days) he comes back really bad, crying and feeling like crap. If I tell him that, he thinks I'm trying to pull them appart.

I just hope he has the brains not to do anything silly. I might call him every 5 min.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 14:00, Reply)

what's wrong with pulling a man apart from his obviously needy, clingy ex?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:05, Reply)

THIS ^^
I mean, what's she saying that gets him in that state??
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:07, Reply)

Go and ask him
I'd like to know too.

He wants to be friends with her. They were together for 13years, and he can't just stop talking with her completely.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 14:09, Reply)

that makes things more difficult
while still friends with my exes, I rarely talk to any of them.

however, nothing that any of my close friends could say would bring me to tears, or make me particularly emotional, and the same is true of an ex.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:12, Reply)

Yeah
And if he came back from seeing her all cheerful and breezy, then fine, it's a healthy relationship.
But he's crying and upset? That's not on.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:13, Reply)

yeah
doesn't sound like any friendships of which I am aware.

he might not want to stop talking with her completely, but it sounds like it'd be a shitload better for the both of them if he did. at least for a while.

much fairer to you as well.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:15, Reply)

hear hear
My dude is best buds with one of his exes, but they see each other all the time and do normal social and pleasant things.
If he came back all grey and soggy I'd be worried.

Sort it out Abbers, you deserve better than this!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:18, Reply)

I've told him exactly that
I don't want him to hide when he feels bad to stop me saying this to him, but I honestly think it's not healthy when your "friend" makes you feel like crap.

Well, we'll see how he does tonight. We might need a beer and a good chat afterwards.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 14:26, Reply)

It's been a couple of months since the last time they talked
Because she asked, and he's improved so much during that time!

I hope it doesn't go back to what it was tonight.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 14:27, Reply)

Pack her stuff leave it on the doorstep
watch from a darkened upstairs window and whisper and giggle quietly out of site, then make sex noises.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:25, Reply)

*Sight
It won't work if they're not on the premises when they do it.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:30, Reply)

partly for comedy effect
but partly because that's the opinion I have on this. if it were more recent I'd be more understanding, but 13 months is quite a long time and there shouldn't be any cause for concern.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:24, Reply)

I don't

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:26, Reply)

You are a good girl!

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 13:29, Reply)

I said generally spaz head.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:32, Reply)

Shurrup you vole

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:33, Reply)