Yeah
Or just walloping someone with your fist.
Crabs is/are an ailment. If deliberately inflicted, surely that's assault.
*stops having an affair just in case*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 May 2010, 13:02, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Probably best you do that
Although Jesus is a meek man, I've heard his Dad's got a mean streak a mile wide.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 13 May 2010, 13:03, Reply)

Oh that's ok
It's his dad I was having a ding-dong with.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 May 2010, 13:04, Reply)

FILTH

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 13 May 2010, 13:06, Reply)

My ex's mum once asked me in all seriousness
if my mum was 'having a ding-dong' with someone.
I like the fact that a ding-dong can be either a fight OR a carry-on.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 May 2010, 13:09, Reply)

But of course
he is actually his own dad, according to the story.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 13 May 2010, 13:04, Reply)

Nah
One has grey hair and a bigger beard.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 May 2010, 13:11, Reply)

If you're omnipotent though
you can be two (or three if you count the holy ghost) people at the same time. God is maybe taking advantage of quantum mechanics.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 13 May 2010, 13:13, Reply)

And it also means he's onto me...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 May 2010, 13:14, Reply)

Wouldn't worry about it
He'll forgive you. And its better that he's omnipotent than impotent.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 13 May 2010, 13:16, Reply)

Praise the Lord

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 May 2010, 13:16, Reply)

- and pass the lubrication.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 13 May 2010, 13:22, Reply)

*anoints*

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 May 2010, 13:26, Reply)

*genuflects*

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 13 May 2010, 17:06, Reply)

beard

...
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 13 May 2010, 13:21, Reply)

Staff
I had a staff when I was St Jude. I used it to smite people.
Now I use it to open the kitchen window.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 May 2010, 13:25, Reply)