I've found that counselling is all to do with 99% listening and 1% asking the right questions.
Do you agree?
( girlinthehole, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:48, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

No.
The listening part is right, but in asking questions it's too easy to set a personal agenda. It's better to reflect, summarise or paraphrase what a speaker's said to encourage them to explore in the direction they want to take.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:50, Reply)

Unless they don't know what direction they want to take.

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:52, Reply)

There's plenty of time to find that out.
Not knowing which direction to take may point to an issue in its own right and might be worth exploring to enable the client to make progress in future etc etc
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:56, Reply)

I found that counselling, for me, was all about having somewhere to go to have a moan about my life for an hour.
Wasn't much use for me in moving forward.
( girlinthehole, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:54, Reply)

So you came here instead.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:56, Reply)

Exactamundo.
And I can have a laugh.
( girlinthehole, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:57, Reply)

I found my counsellor utterly useless
So long as I wasn't going to kill myself at the end of the session, job done as far as he was concerned.

Never exploring why I really am like I am.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:58, Reply)

It's because you were dropped on the head as a baby innit.

( girlinthehole, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:59, Reply)

Many times.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:16, Reply)

I've had seven or eight counsellors and community psychiatric nurses.
One counsellor was great, one superb, a couple pretty poor, and the CPNs are low-grade Therapy-R-Us. I had to reach absolute rock fucking bottom to push my GP to refer me for proper therapy.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:02, Reply)

Well, it was when I mentioned I felt suicidal, so I guess that's pretty low.
Lower could be unsuccssful attampt. Cheaper would be attempt achieved.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:09, Reply)

Quiet fridge, eat your cereal

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:04, Reply)

I love that, but don't see how you would know it relates to me.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:07, Reply)

my friend is a Samaritan
and it surprised me when she said that she effectively just repeats things back to people and then asks how that made them feel and that's about it because Samaritans aren't allowed to give out advice.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:05, Reply)

I couldn't do that.
I have opinions on everything, regardless of prior knowledge.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:15, Reply)

that's what I said!
I wouldn't be able to resist saying "right, I would do this..."
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:33, Reply)

After training
I think you'd be surprised how easy it is to resist. It becomes very possible to just sit back and look at the options and try and guide someone to what they feel happy with. It's quite an organic process
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:40, Reply)

It's pretty fucking difficult.
But what she said.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:40, Reply)

No counsellor should give advice really.
It seems to be more about encouraging the client to make discoveries about themselves, come their own conclusions and plan their own recovery. More of a facilitating role than an advising one.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:20, Reply)

^
Noel knows his stuff. An advisory role is not an acceptable one for a counsellor. When I'm talking to people in a role of facilitator I don't give advice. If a friend comes to me outside of that role then I will
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:27, Reply)

*bows*
How're you? Hangover?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:34, Reply)

I'm good thanks
I don't get hangovers (little gift from my dad's genetics there) which is lucky because according to my arm I had 22 drinks last night.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:39, Reply)

What a clever arm.
I don't get proper hangovers either, just a gentle feeling of pissedness. But now... I've quit alcohol so I'll never feel that again either.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:43, Reply)

a very clever arm
how's the non-drinking going?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:53, Reply)

Absolutely brilliantly easy.
I read another book by the same guy who helped me quit smoking and change my diet. It was utter shite but a couple of core things got through and I read back through some blog posts about alcohol and quit on the spot.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:04, Reply)

That's what I need
Unfortunately my immediate society revolves around booze..
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:05, Reply)