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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Thought of the day.
How come looking back on the evening's threads I find that my spelling is better than when I'm on here sober?

Plus running to Nirvana and Polly whatserface is not as good as running to dance music.

Edit- PJ Harvey.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:20, 252 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
When I used to go running
I used to listen to junglist pirate stations, that always did the job.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:31, Reply)
Jungle is massiiiiiiiiiiiive!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:35, Reply)
North, South, East, West 'dis is da sound of tha jungalist

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:38, Reply)
Running from the natives no doubt.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:38, Reply)
The roof of my brother's flat keeps being taken over by pirate radio stations.
They are losing thousands of pounds each time the police come and confiscate it, but it gets replaced within a day or two.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:41, Reply)
Really what you wnat is something with a beat that matches your steps

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:35, Reply)
I always run faster when the hardcore stuff comes on.
My ipod is borked. I can't go back to the song list so I'm stuck with Nirvana and Polly whatsername.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:38, Reply)
Polly Whatsercracker?

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:39, Reply)
I do wish there was a spellcheck on this site.
Except for Gonz of course, his are speshul just as they are.

Oh, its because you are trying harder when you are pished up.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:37, Reply)
Work's phones are down!
Oh man, if this lasts all day I can finish my book.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:38, Reply)
Is that your counselling for dummies?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:40, Reply)
consolling dummies more like.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:42, Reply)
Spelling 'consoling' for dummies, it is.
You should get a copy.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:49, Reply)
I would if I could spell.
Pedant.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:52, Reply)
He's no pedant.
He's a wristycrat.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 26 May 2010, 9:03, Reply)
Haha!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:05, Reply)
Yes.
Counselling skills.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:44, Reply)
I've found that counselling is all to do with 99% listening and 1% asking the right questions.
Do you agree?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:48, Reply)
No.
The listening part is right, but in asking questions it's too easy to set a personal agenda. It's better to reflect, summarise or paraphrase what a speaker's said to encourage them to explore in the direction they want to take.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:50, Reply)
Unless they don't know what direction they want to take.

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:52, Reply)
There's plenty of time to find that out.
Not knowing which direction to take may point to an issue in its own right and might be worth exploring to enable the client to make progress in future etc etc
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:56, Reply)
I found that counselling, for me, was all about having somewhere to go to have a moan about my life for an hour.
Wasn't much use for me in moving forward.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:54, Reply)
So you came here instead.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:56, Reply)
Exactamundo.
And I can have a laugh.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:57, Reply)
I found my counsellor utterly useless
So long as I wasn't going to kill myself at the end of the session, job done as far as he was concerned.

Never exploring why I really am like I am.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:58, Reply)
It's because you were dropped on the head as a baby innit.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:59, Reply)
Many times.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:16, Reply)
I've had seven or eight counsellors and community psychiatric nurses.
One counsellor was great, one superb, a couple pretty poor, and the CPNs are low-grade Therapy-R-Us. I had to reach absolute rock fucking bottom to push my GP to refer me for proper therapy.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:02, Reply)
Well, it was when I mentioned I felt suicidal, so I guess that's pretty low.
Lower could be unsuccssful attampt. Cheaper would be attempt achieved.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:09, Reply)
Quiet fridge, eat your cereal

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:04, Reply)
I love that, but don't see how you would know it relates to me.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:07, Reply)
my friend is a Samaritan
and it surprised me when she said that she effectively just repeats things back to people and then asks how that made them feel and that's about it because Samaritans aren't allowed to give out advice.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:05, Reply)
I couldn't do that.
I have opinions on everything, regardless of prior knowledge.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:15, Reply)
that's what I said!
I wouldn't be able to resist saying "right, I would do this..."
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:33, Reply)
After training
I think you'd be surprised how easy it is to resist. It becomes very possible to just sit back and look at the options and try and guide someone to what they feel happy with. It's quite an organic process
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:40, Reply)
It's pretty fucking difficult.
But what she said.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:40, Reply)
No counsellor should give advice really.
It seems to be more about encouraging the client to make discoveries about themselves, come their own conclusions and plan their own recovery. More of a facilitating role than an advising one.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:20, Reply)
^
Noel knows his stuff. An advisory role is not an acceptable one for a counsellor. When I'm talking to people in a role of facilitator I don't give advice. If a friend comes to me outside of that role then I will
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:27, Reply)
*bows*
How're you? Hangover?
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:34, Reply)
I'm good thanks
I don't get hangovers (little gift from my dad's genetics there) which is lucky because according to my arm I had 22 drinks last night.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:39, Reply)
What a clever arm.
I don't get proper hangovers either, just a gentle feeling of pissedness. But now... I've quit alcohol so I'll never feel that again either.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:43, Reply)
a very clever arm
how's the non-drinking going?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:53, Reply)
Absolutely brilliantly easy.
I read another book by the same guy who helped me quit smoking and change my diet. It was utter shite but a couple of core things got through and I read back through some blog posts about alcohol and quit on the spot.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:04, Reply)
That's what I need
Unfortunately my immediate society revolves around booze..
(I helped save b3ta! whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:05, Reply)
I don't run, bad knee y'see
But when I cycle in't countryside I listen to my iPod (but not when on roads). I nearly killed myself when I was just starting to ascend a steep hill, and some hardcore industrial came on. 120-160BPM is not fun to cycle uphill to.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:12, Reply)
I used to like running to Linkin Park
because they start of all emo and ballady so you can get warmed up, then they go all nu-metal for the chorus, to which you can run really fast, then they chill again for the next emo verse.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:14, Reply)
I think they are one of the worst bands I have ever heard.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:20, Reply)

I think they are one of the worst bands I've ever heard
I enjoy colouring in, going to see films and long walks in the park with my friends.

Accentuate the positive, Monts, it'll make you a happier person all round.

Good morning everybody!
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:29, Reply)
Nice to see you Albert.
Bit of a sleep in? Jolly good show.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 26 May 2010, 9:31, Reply)
No, I'm starting shift work
It's a tough job, but somebody has to clean our oil rigs
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:37, Reply)
Rubbish.
There are loads worse. Oasis for one.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 26 May 2010, 9:32, Reply)
There are worse bands.
But they are amongst the worst bands I have ever heard.

Wait a minute - I've already posted this...
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:36, Reply)
what's wrong with oasis?
I like them...
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 26 May 2010, 9:43, Reply)
Apart from
some of the worst lyrics ever - sample: 'slip inside the eye of your mind'? How fucking terrible. That makes 'Why don't presidents fight the war? Why do they always send the poor?' (see below) seem positively Wildean.

Or hackneyed 3rd-rate pedestrian sub-Beatles tunes?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:53, Reply)
They produced the lyric I hate most in the world
"she's got a sister, god only knows how I miss her, on the palm of her hand is a blister"

It's like rhyming for three year olds!
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:05, Reply)
Ooh you went for a three year old
I was kind and went for five.
(I helped save b3ta! whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:11, Reply)
Oasis lyrics could be written by a five year old
Take a word, any word, and rhyme it with a word, any word. Here is my oasis attempt:

Hey man take a word
Fly like a bird
And we can get hiiiiiiiiiiigh
(I helped save b3ta! whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:09, Reply)
haha this is excellent.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:27, Reply)
They really should have listened to more Ian Dury

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:13, Reply)
earthy humour.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:27, Reply)
I do like it earthy

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:32, Reply)
Joking aside,
I do think everybody who fancies themselves as a lyricist should be forced to qualify themselves with a listen to a good dose of Ray Davies. And if that doesn't fix 'em, we break out the Jake Thackray.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:32, Reply)
They're no Limp Bizcuit.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:33, Reply)
don't dis the biz!
I'll break your fucking face.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:36, Reply)
back up, back up.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:36, Reply)
and give a brother room
the fuse is lit and I'm about to go boom
mercy mercy mercy me
my life is a cage but on stage I'm free
hyped up syched up ready for wil'in'
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:43, Reply)
Emo

(PsychoChomp, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:44, Reply)
I saw a big truck that said Emo Oil on it this morning
it made me smile.

Then I realised I was one of those people who smiles when they're by themselves, making them look crazy.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:08, Reply)
Haha, good old Fresh Prince!

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 May 2010, 11:09, Reply)
I will.
Didn't they have a giant lavatory on stage into which effigies of Britney Spears were thrown, or something?

Can anyone top this as the worst stage gimmick of all time? It makes Cypress Hill's giant inflatable joints seem positively cool...
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:38, Reply)
It was the Spice Girls and Hansen they flushed
and yeah, there was a worse stage prop. Would've been fine if the guitarist hadn't suggested it be 18" high instead of 18' though
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:43, Reply)
Geri Halliwell once made her stage entrance
out of a giant pair of open legs. That's was pretty tasteless.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:19, Reply)
No, it's all empowering for women, innit!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:21, Reply)
Yes
The message was "drape yourself in a Union Jack and get your norks out and you too can be a success in a field in which you demonstrably have no talent"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:24, Reply)
remember her version of Its Raining Men?
what am I saying, of course you do.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:28, Reply)
Yeah, it was in Bridget Jones' Diary
and the video had her in a Flashdance-type outfit to show off how much weight she'd lost...

This is exactly why, isn't it?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:29, Reply)
Or just very honest

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:24, Reply)
I hope you know I pack a chain saw
I'll skin your ass raw
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:39, Reply)
Even though that song is 11 years old
EVERY time I play it at Rawkus I can guarantee the entire crowd will scream "BREAK YOUR FUCKING FACE TONIGHT" back at me. Either the Bizkit have enormous enduring appeal or my crowd really fucking hate me
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:45, Reply)
I would scream
'turn this terrible shit off' back at you.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:53, Reply)
be fair Monty
would you be there in the first place?

And if so would you consider simply having a good night to bad music?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:54, Reply)
I would be there in my role as assassin of Allah.
I'm not that much of a churl. I have enough to decorum (I hope) that were I out at a night where they played music I didn’t like, I wouldn’t spoil it for people by being petulant. I’d simply smile and cry inside, and prop up the bar.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:06, Reply)
or take your ipod/mp3 player along
go outside for a smoke and listen to some good music to fortify yourself
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:08, Reply)
These are all good ideas
Next one's on June 5th Monty. I'll guestlist you, just to see the look on your face
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:13, Reply)
take my what?
I have a steam-powered gramophone.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:38, Reply)
bring it on a shopping trolley
a tartan one
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:39, Reply)
I just stick it in the back of my bath chair.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:58, Reply)
whenever I hear that
I think of Jane Austen and The Silver Skates
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 11:17, Reply)
I used to live round the corner from Jane Austen's house.
We knew the people who lived there - one day the chap came out of the bathroom to find a posse of Japanese tourists in his sitting room.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 11:26, Reply)
I hope he charged them for the privilege

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 11:29, Reply)
You live in Norwich,
it's probably still in the top 10 there.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:54, Reply)
Haha missed this one

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:06, Reply)
I won't even bother to say that Norwich moves with the times musically
as it would be utter bollocks.

I remembered yesterday and forgot to mention, the one thing I remember from my trip to Milton Keynes (in 1999) was a remarkably high proportion of well-endowed girls. Is this still the case?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:08, Reply)
There's a decent ratio.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:14, Reply)
they're not that bad
I think they're pretty inoffensive. Like Porky said, Oasis are way worse. I have to turn the radio off when they come on, which is a lot living in bloody Manchester.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:35, Reply)
Linkin Park do what they do very well
but I can see how they'd be offensive to a musical connoisseur like Monty. They did manage to make Jay-Z good for the only time in his career to date, though.

And Oasis are worse than everyone. Ever. Even Suede
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:38, Reply)
^this
LP are alright, as Kitty says they're inoffensive.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:40, Reply)
I like them
they remind me of my forays into nu-metal. It amused me when I learned they'd been put together in a pop-idol manner in America.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:23, Reply)
Same, they remind me of my early uni years
Good times...good times.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:34, Reply)
haha
I was talking about Suede just last night! I was singing Trash at Wiggy. He didn't appreciate it.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:22, Reply)
haha
I played Animal Nitrate last night at pre-drinks
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:23, Reply)
If I remember rightly, did the lead singer (Brett?)
look like a poor man's Matt Bellamy?
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:29, Reply)
Close
A stony fucking broke gay man's Matt Bellamy
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:34, Reply)
slightly harsh
I think the lead singer of Suede was a bit attractive in an odd sort of way.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:36, Reply)
I know him socially.
He is as big a tool as his records suggest.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:40, Reply)
ah well
I'm not going to meet him though, so it's all moot. Is he actually ugly then as well?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:41, Reply)
He looks like a gay ghost.
A bit of a sweaty one at that.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:57, Reply)
nothing wrong with that

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 11:17, Reply)
Whenever I saw him he was singing godawful songs
so his attractiveness did not really cross my mind
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:44, Reply)
'we are the pigs'
Jesus fucking Christ.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:57, Reply)
We seem to agree on several shit bands
If only we could find one we both like
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 11:07, Reply)
Which is why
I didn't post last night. That and I got back at almost three
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:25, Reply)
Dirty stop-out
I hope your mother knows where you've been
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:31, Reply)
Probably not
different countries and all that
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:38, Reply)
Pffffffft
Different cuntries
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:41, Reply)
that as well

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:42, Reply)
Certain bands make me run too fast
but i'm always listening to metal anyway so i'm tuned into that. Pitchshifter makes me too speedy though.
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:33, Reply)
I'm like that with certain System songs
they'll just come on and then I'll subconsciously start matching the speed and end up giving myself a hernia.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:37, Reply)
Didn't they do one
about 'woo let's paaarty' or something. I nearly tore my lower lip from my face belming, listening to those lyrics.

(I'm not picking on you today Kitty, sorry)
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:42, Reply)
oh I just assumed
it was shorthand for System of a Down. Who never did a song about partying. Unless you count B.Y.O.B
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:43, Reply)
*googles* that's not the song.
However:

Why don't presidents fight the war?
Why do they always send the poor?
Why don't presidents fight the war?
Why do they always send the poor? [X4]

has not endeared them to me ever so much. That's 'D- see me' lyric writing if you ask me.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:45, Reply)
Most bands have written some shockingly shit lyrics at times

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:46, Reply)
Those
are spectacularly bad, though, you must agree. A-level student poetry drivel.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:54, Reply)
I can think of only one worse example at present
There's a Human League song called something like "The things that dreams are made of" - look them up if you dare*. They're farcical.

*I know this because my sister had one of her ill-advised moments and bought a copy of Dare. I nearly disowned her.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:05, Reply)
Their 'The Lebanon'
has what is generally regarded as the worst lyrics of any song, ever - something about 'where there were some shops' or something.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:07, Reply)
Ahem
on the subject of godawful lyrics, I am forced to once again bring up the musical crimes of the Gallagher brothers
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:09, Reply)
See the discussion above.
You would have thought that their manager...one of the band...possibly even their mum...might have eventually said,
"Noel, Liam...what the fuck is a 'wonderwall?' Oh, and Liam, darling, swaggering around like that just makes you look like a wanker. You used to be such a nice boy. Noel, your Dad and I have been talking and we've agreed you're a fucking shit guitarist. We've part-exchanged your guitar for a recorder. We know you can't play that either but hopefully it will be less obvious."
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:16, Reply)
^this
Genuine officelol. Oh, the suffering that could have been avoided if you were the Gallaghers' Mum
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:35, Reply)
Wow.
Just looked those up.
Jesus...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:11, Reply)
True
but that is the chorus, and if you listen to the song, it's speeded up/sung over itself and 4 repetitions take up about fifteen seconds
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:48, Reply)
Anybody who uses the word "party" as a verb
deserves to have their lower lip torn from their face.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:47, Reply)
what comes before Part B?
PART A!! OHHHH YEAH!
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:58, Reply)
...with a rusty meathook.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:59, Reply)
I'd like to see you try that with Andrew WK.
Hero of our times.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:02, Reply)
and professional advert music writer.
ROCK AND ROLL!! PAAARTY!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:16, Reply)
are you thinking of Andrew WK?
He likes to party hard.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:57, Reply)
I have no System of a Down on my iPod
My search for someone else who thinks they're shit goes on...
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:42, Reply)
System of a Down are not shit
they're excellent at being what they are.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:45, Reply)
Which is shit

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:48, Reply)
FINALLY
ten years I've been looking for someone who appreciates metal and yet thinks SOAD are a bag o' bobbins
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:52, Reply)
I only have one bobbin left
so I would think a bag of bobbins was brilliant. So there.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:59, Reply)
Well I know what you're getting for your birthday

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:01, Reply)
yay!

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:24, Reply)
Disclaimer
I have no fucking idea when your birthday is
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:36, Reply)
November 30th
you've got plenty of time to find the perfect bag of bobbins.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 12:05, Reply)
I'll see what I can do
what the fuck is a bobbin?

Further disclaimer; I know really, I just have no idea where to buy one
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 12:10, Reply)
Hahah morning old boy

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:55, Reply)
'morning
How's tricks, old chap?
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:57, Reply)
Not bad
Bit musically angry though, it seems.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:59, Reply)
Just a little
I'm just generally misanthropic and irritable this morning. Don't know why, as I was a bit starstruck last night - came off the stage after a set at the old blues jam just as this great big whale of a man lumbered up. Turns out it was none other than Buddy Whittington (John Mayall's current guitarist), and, whilst I was a little disappointed that I didn't get to jam with him myself, the set he played was absolutely fucking superb.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:02, Reply)
One of my pals
is best mates with Mayall's son Gaz (of 'Gaz' Rockin' Blues' and The Trojans fame). Apparently:

a) John Mayall is a cunt and
b) has one of the most epic porn collections of all time
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:17, Reply)
Haha, I don't know whether to be surprised by the pr0n.
But for someone who's made a 40-year career singing the blues with a voice that was so entirely unsuited to the blues, I guess he must be a little arrogant at the very least.

Seriously, on Padlock on the Blues there's at least one track with John Lee Hooker playing guitar...and Mayall sings on them! Surely if you had one of the best blues voices playing on your album you'd politely hand over the vocal duties?
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:23, Reply)
I like 'Blues from Laurel Canyon' a lot, and 'Bare Wires'
but yes, that's a fucking weird decision. Weird guy, weird beard, weird porn.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:27, Reply)
Perhaps it was a case of,
"Look, you can sing on this one if you want...but you'll have to look at more of my lobster porn first!"
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:30, Reply)
Search no more.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:46, Reply)
Oops
Sorry Monty, just noticed this. Either that or my brain refused to accept it as it appears to be an example of us agreeing on something
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:53, Reply)
you managed to agree
a mutual cottaging spot. That was quite impressive agreement. Or was it not your brain that arranged that?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:55, Reply)
I told you that in confidence
and now I must reveal the secret of your abysmal cookery
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:56, Reply)
*sigh*

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:55, Reply)
Early Pitchshifter
Or later Pitchshifter?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:41, Reply)
Anything from Deviant onwards is probably acceptable running speed

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:41, Reply)
I prefer Deviant onwards
But like some of the older, more growly-industrial stuff too.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:42, Reply)
www.pitchshifter.com is my favourite
But I wouldn't try jogging to Please Sir
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:46, Reply)
The Remix Wars is not as good as it should have been.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:04, Reply)
Agreed
Most disappointing. Although I found an old copy some years after release and it had aged badly
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:10, Reply)
later
pitchshifter.com usually.

god i saw that band too many times
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:14, Reply)
Funny you should mention this
I had the new Pendulum album on my iPod this morning and shaved two minutes off yesterday's time. Australians; shit at cricket but good for your health
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:34, Reply)
Pendulum are Australian?
I did not know this. My friends saw them in Blackpool on Friday, it was insanely hot. You're seeing them tonight aren't you?
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:37, Reply)
Sadly not.
My God, how I wish that I were. Initial listen to the new album confirms them as the best band in the world right now, in my estimation

Edit: Also, I was gobsmacked when I found out they were Australian. I mean, they're really good. Something of a novelty for an Aussie band
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:39, Reply)
aren't Silverchair from Aus?

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:55, Reply)
I wouldn't describe Silverchair as "good" per se
Certainly not "really good". More... "briefly acceptable, until they vanished up their own arse"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:57, Reply)
To be honest I don't know any of their music
but they were all I could think of so I took a shot.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:59, Reply)
The most obvious Aussie band are AC/DC
but I assume that as a woman of taste you skipped straight past them
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:01, Reply)
Pardon?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:20, Reply)
I don't really care about AC/DC one way or the other
I did enjoy how ridiculous it is that they've released that Iron Man edition album though, blatantly riding the Marvel coat tails when I think only 2 songs actually featured in the film.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:31, Reply)
You are aware
that bands don't just choose to release soundtrack albums, are't you? That they're picked by the people who make the films?

AC/DC aren't riding the coat tails of anything - particularly when you consider that 'Back in Black' is in the top five selling records of all time and they've just had a number 1 LP all round the world - and a sellout global tour.

More people have bought an AC/DC record than a fucking Marvel comic. If anything the makers of 'Iron Man 2' are coat tailing off the back of AC/DC. How many copies of the soundtrack to Iron Man 1 did they sell?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:50, Reply)

All I heard of that was "OMG I LOVE AC/DC SO MUCH!!!"

Also, you made a typo :D
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:55, Reply)
My editing says I didn't.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 11:10, Reply)
it's still there...

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 12:04, Reply)
I am genuinely surprised at the notion of you liking AC/DC, Monty
I believed you to be a fan of musical diversity and creativity
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:47, Reply)
They're one of the best rock bands of all time.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:51, Reply)
I'm gonna let you finish, but, but AC/DC are one of the best rock bands of all time!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:53, Reply)
haha

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:54, Reply)
To my mind
They've written one of the best rock tracks of all time, and replicated it. Endlessly. The only variation I can find is that they seem to have two lyrical themes, "generic rock'n'roll nonsense" (which I have no problem with) and "filth"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:56, Reply)
That's the essence of rock music, surely?
If I want critical analysis of current affairs I won't go to a fucking musician for it (especially not in the light of System of a Down's Syndrome's little insight quoted elsewhere in this thread).

Angus Young is one of my favourite guitarists ever and I could happily listen to him all day long.


EDIT I have just realised I am actually wearing an AC/DC sweatshirt today. This makes today's rant even more embarrassing.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 11:05, Reply)
It's not their lyrical themes I take issue with, just the fact that it seems to represent their only concept of variation
I don't particularly want to listen to a metal band talking about worthy issues. It took me years to stop headbanging long enough to work out what Metallica were on about with Blackened, and even then I didn't really give a shit. My issue with AC/DC is that they only have one (admittedly very good) song. One. Over how many years?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 11:10, Reply)
Motorhead are the same (for 35 years now).
So were The Ramones. I love both.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 11:13, Reply)
Fair enough
In a bizarre way I'm happier that you're not bothering to argue the "one song" point as many have before you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 11:20, Reply)
BELMS FOR BRITAIN
AC/DC?
Wolfmother?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:58, Reply)
Thank you!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:01, Reply)
Wolfmother are alright
but I'm not sure why you'd listen to them when the Led Zeppelin back catalogue is readily available
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:02, Reply)

Not quite so easy to get tickets for, though, are they?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:18, Reply)
Not without a DeLorean or Tardis, no. Granted

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:37, Reply)
I'm seeing them tonight!
WOOOO!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:41, Reply)
I knew someone was!
sorry to confuse you with the queer.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:43, Reply)
Apology accepted

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:44, Reply)
No offence
In case you were wondering
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:47, Reply)
no offence meant
well, b3ta offence meant, but not real life offence.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:54, Reply)
Hehe
If I got offended every time someone called me gay I wouldn't last long on B3ta
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:57, Reply)
I don't like their attempts at being a band
but their earlier pure d'n'b records were superb. I wish they'd stick with that. I also wish I'd never seen a picture of them as matey's stupid Captain Ahab beard is very silly.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:43, Reply)
Monty in not liking something shocker!
more to follow...
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:44, Reply)
... and there's nothing you can do to stop him.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:46, Reply)
Pendulum are pretty awful

All their songs are recycled versions of previous songs.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:03, Reply)
Well, that's bollocks, isn't it

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:11, Reply)
I want one of those forceful polar bears in my freezer.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:37, Reply)
I hate that advert!
the polar bear is creepy and it has no right to tell you that own-brand stuff isn't good for your kids.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:38, Reply)
I don't run
But on my twice-yearly use of my exercise bike I like to listen to Tatu songs in Russian, the dance remixes. I sing along, so as well as exercising, I'm learning Russian.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:43, Reply)
learning
what will only be useful if you seduce a Russian lesbian
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:46, Reply)
Not so
I have learnt the Russian for 'Calm down!' from Tatu.
Being a scouser I have found this useful on several occasions.
And we all know they weren't lesbians.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:51, Reply)
Lesbians wear more sensible clothes in the rain.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:53, Reply)
The Russian version of that video...
shows more nipple and underwear.
The English video is just the Russian one chopped and edited so it looks like they're singing in English.
They're actually singing Ya Soshla S Uma (I've Lost My Mind) which is the Russian version of All the Things She Said.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:57, Reply)
and more sensible shoes in general

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:58, Reply)
and a tangible hatred of The Cock
simmering gently over an underlying craving for The Cock.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:59, Reply)
I never really hated it
I was just a bit afear'd I think.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:05, Reply)
Roota
Or how i learned to stop worrying and love The Cock
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:06, Reply)

if when
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:52, Reply)
Exactly
Let's not rule out all the other former Communist states either.
They speak Russian too.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:53, Reply)
I could never get into running
I tried it a few times and found it deeply unpleasant. The advice I got was along the lines of,
"You've got to try doing it a few times and get over the unpleasantness, then you'll really start to get into it."
"I see. So how many times, usually, does it take for someone to get into the spirit of it?"
"Oh, about 20 or so."
"Right, so I've only got to subject myself to this another 16 times before I'll start enjoying it? Doesn't really sound that appealing."
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:44, Reply)
I hate running. It ruined my big toe and now I can't walk in heels for very long
I prefer the cross-trainer.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:46, Reply)
I fucked my knee up good a few years back, so running hurts
Cycling is best, zero impact (unless some prick opens their car door on me again).
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:48, Reply)
Now cycling I do enjoy
(As long as there are no motorists in the vicinity)
Might be worth getting the bike out again as I don't think chronic masturbation counts as exercise.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:51, Reply)
Shit! Doesn't it?

*withdraws PE teacher application*
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:56, Reply)
Ha!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:57, Reply)
I think the energy expended in yelling the Lord's Prayer
might add some cardiovascular exercice to the whole routine. Sadly I daren't include that bit as I'm sure my neighbours can hear just about everything I do. Often I wonder whether they can even hear the dull, rhythmic slurp of my foreskin against my helmet...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:59, Reply)
ew!
too graphic!
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:00, Reply)
"Class, THIS is how you masturbate!"
"And next week you can use your own cocks. Dismissed."
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 26 May 2010, 10:10, Reply)
I'm still too scared to cycle to work.
It's fine right up until I reach the city centre, where the cycle lane ends on the wrong side of the road, so I have to either get off and walk through all the pedestrian crossings to get to the right side of the road or try and sneak my way across when its red, which goes against the grain because I hate cyclists who run red lights. Plus I've seen how cars treat cyclists at the two major box junctions I would have to cross. I've also seen how cyclists disregard the red lights and if I didn't, would the cyclists hate me too? It's just fraught with problems.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:51, Reply)
I hate hate HATE cyclists who run red lights or ignore zebra crossings.
I'm lucky in one way, I live in a small town, but the traffic can still be fierce. Also, most people 'round here think anyone not in a £20k+ car is beneath them at best (non-existent at worst), and have a pathological fear of using their cunting mirrors.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:55, Reply)
did you read about that guy who killed a cyclist for clipping his wing mirror?
He chased after him, mounted the kerb and ploughed into the cyclist, propelling him through the air and against a load of industrial bins. What a fucking terrifying way to die!
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:01, Reply)
What the shuddering fuck?!
If this is true, that cunt should be given 15 years behind bars. That's horrific.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:05, Reply)
You are joking? 15?
Never had you down as a crim pandering nancy boy.
35 years with no remission and a sound flogging twice a year, lest he forget.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 26 May 2010, 10:12, Reply)
15 is long enough
When you tell the other jailbirds that the guy's inside for kiddy fiddlin'.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:16, Reply)
Just the 15 like

(I helped save b3ta! whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:13, Reply)
I has finded a link
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1269563/Road-rage-motorist-killed-cyclist-revenge-knocking-wing-mirror.html
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:32, Reply)
Jesus... and that's not far from me either.
Psychotic cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:50, Reply)
I still hate starting up running but once I get going I don't want to stop.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:56, Reply)
I might try on a treadmill one day
But I ain't doing it in the street
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:58, Reply)
Don't lie
You've done it in the street.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:00, Reply)
Have I shite

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:08, Reply)
You've probably done that too
I saw a scouse lass taking a shit in the little street behind The Krazy House once.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:11, Reply)
A shit???
Christ.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:13, Reply)
Yep. She then went back into Walkabout.
Class.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:16, Reply)
^ this is the funniest post OF ALL TIME.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 11:08, Reply)
it's true
as soon as you stop, you can't go again because your legs only need a few seconds respite to say "fuck off, I'm not doing that again" and promptly turn into a semi-liquid state.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:02, Reply)
I picked up one of those running/marathon mags
on the bus a few weeks ago. I have to say it was pretty inspiring stuff.

These bastards are outrageously fit, some even do exotic things like the Cote D'Azure Marathon or the New York Marathon. I am jealous and unmotivated and that magazine helped point that out to me.
(I helped save b3ta! whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:29, Reply)
One of my best mates ran the Polar Circle Marathon last year
Part of which involves running across a glacier. Mental bastard.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:32, Reply)
It's the kind of thing
I'd like to post on facebook, and be extremely smug about.
(I helped save b3ta! whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:47, Reply)
You used to have to look in bushes/hedges
for those kind of mags. HOW TIMES HAVE CHANGED.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 11:08, Reply)
Which brings me to
Why bushes and hedges? Is that where perverts go to read about running techniques?
(I helped save b3ta! whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 26 May 2010, 11:17, Reply)
I used to have Rammstein on whilst walking home
Without realising it, my pace would pick up massively, and I'd outstrip everyone.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 May 2010, 11:14, Reply)
I have an image in my head now
Of you running around while listening to Rammstein, tearing clothes from random people. 'Sharking' I think the kids call it.
(I helped save b3ta! whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 26 May 2010, 11:19, Reply)
nope
Sharking is hitting on fit freshers when they're drunk
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 11:31, Reply)
The voice of experience speaks
Get on with yer essay
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 11:33, Reply)
it's too difficult

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 11:35, Reply)
Oh, well, best forget it then
In the words of Sue Sylvester, "You think this is hard? I'm living with hepatitis, that's hard!"

I am not living with hepatitis and cannot vouch for its hardness
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 11:38, Reply)
I thought it was
that she was passing a gallstone
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 11:39, Reply)
There's also one about being Waterboarded
Most likely all bollocks
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 11:44, Reply)
bear in mind
I am working solely off the adverts for it
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 11:53, Reply)
Don't pretend you haven't seen it

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 12:14, Reply)
I just have a brilliant memory
for useless trivia.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 12:15, Reply)

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