You have a beautiful smile
By which I mean that the far away, worried look on your face gives me an erection.

Your hair's fine, don't worry about it
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:40, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

I'm quite worried :/
It's been a while since I dyed my hair a stupid colour, my flatmates will love it
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:42, Reply)

Well it doesn't look bad
So as long as you're ok with it, and you're happy or at least able to laugh at yourself for not getting it quite how you wanted it, you'll be fine!

Ooh, I'm talking all nice to a girl, I can feel my ovaries palpitating
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:46, Reply)

Hahaha thank you mister
It's only the fact my fringe is a different colour. It's amusing though, it'll be fine.

I've had lots of different colours, it's something different.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:48, Reply)

You still haven't resolved the problem of my erection?
I think it's partly because in your photo you look as though you may have recently been the victim of a serious sexual assault
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:56, Reply)

and balance has been restored

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:57, Reply)

We can all breathe a sigh of relief
I was starting to get worried there, but I did mean it as a compliment.
If I had a type, I'd probably be best off looking for her at the nearest rape crisis centre
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:00, Reply)

Surely my face would have scared it back into its burrow?
Thankfully I've never been a victim of such a thing.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:03, Reply)

I'd pay you a compliment here
But then you might start to like me, and then I'd have to spend the next three years destroying you mentally
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:09, Reply)

This place has destroyed me already

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:14, Reply)

Get to bed you silly cunts

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:14, Reply)

You get to bed
Or at least come down here, tuck me in and read me a story
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:20, Reply)

I'm not going to work tomorrow, so no. Shant

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:21, Reply)

Just show him the Bravissimo catalogue,
he'll be off in no time.
I hear your job went tits up, but you're going to do locum work instead - that sounds canny like pet :o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:26, Reply)

Reet canny like xx

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:29, Reply)

Geet muckle canny ye knaa
xxx
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:32, Reply)

Get a fucking room you two.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 28 May 2010, 1:44, Reply)

Who?
You mean me and Mark?
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:54, Reply)

Oh yeah, congratulations on the new job by the way
I don't start til 10.30 this morning so I'll be fine, but I might just knock one out and go to bed now
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:28, Reply)

So long as you're not thinking about me while you rub one out

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:30, Reply)

Heehee, you wish
I'm printing Lampito's picture and giving it a back story as we speak
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:34, Reply)

Now I have a vivid picture of you with a huge roll of "sticky-backed plastic"
a la Blue Peter ;o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:38, Reply)

'make your own wank fodder'
the special that never aired
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:41, Reply)

That's given me an idea!
I could laminate it for bert afterwards, then he'll have a re-usable, "wipe clean" wank board :o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:53, Reply)

a fantastic idea
also for shower usage
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:54, Reply)

I think "5 a day" refers to portions of fruit & veg consumed.
If you're OFF, I wish you sweaty dreams ;o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:31, Reply)