Fuck me it's quiet in here tonight.
You all watching Question Time or Newsnight or something?

Alt question: benefit reform - good or bad?

Alt alt question: what's the most annoying thing about your neighbour? Mine would be the lad downstairs' propensity to get himself arrested on a regular basis, coupled with his fairly new girlfriend's laugh. She sounds like a donkey thats being fisted by the Rock whilst simultaneously having 100 volts of electricity shot through its scrotum. Oh, and her banging on his door at 2 am having lost the battery of her phone and her windsail knickers on a neighbour's step.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 27 May 2010, 23:10, 176 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

our neighbour has this dog, and I swear, it's suicidal.
every single time I drive past their house to go to school it runs out in front of me and then stops in the middle of the road, and even if I try to go around it, it usually tries to race me down the lane.

and the neighbours call it cute. fuckheads.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 27 May 2010, 23:13, Reply)

Run the fucking thing down. It runs out in front of you and you could be blinded/distracted by something and didn't see it. No more problem dog. Owners own fault for not having the damn thing secured properly. Unless you live on their property, then all you can do is have a quiet word about it.
(WeeJen, Thu 27 May 2010, 23:23, Reply)

this evening i have mainly been doing revision cos of being back at school and stuff.
gotta be up at half six for to make the 70 mile treck in da morning, just lke every other day this week.
i fucking love it.
which is why i have been absent.

my neighbour on one side is an 85yo chainsmoker, the other is a 55yo noisysexer.
what's not to love?
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Thu 27 May 2010, 23:25, Reply)

My neighbour (in the shop downstairs) is my landlord.
On one side is Tesco, and they're quiet. On the other is a music school. On a Saturday, I'll be pottering around, and I'll get spooky music coming through the walls, soundtracking my day. Then, I put on some heavy rock, crank it up to 11, and get antisocial!

Except I don't. I listen to the nice music and wish I could play the piano.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 27 May 2010, 23:33, Reply)

I'd like to tinkle
With your ivories
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 27 May 2010, 23:41, Reply)

Hee hee :o)
You said tinkle
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:00, Reply)

I wish you could play the piano too.
How is your good self? Oh, and hi, bert.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 27 May 2010, 23:43, Reply)

Hello D'sG, long time no speak
How's the mrs?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 27 May 2010, 23:48, Reply)

Hello Bert!
I'm grand thanks, all the better for seeing you :o)
I got one of these for Christmas and named him after you:

www.amazon.co.uk/Extra-Large-Chimpanzee-Hand-Puppet/dp/B000WGV600/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=kids&qid=1275000841&sr=1-1

He's even got a faecebook account (Burt Chimpcaster).
How is your splendid simian self?
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 27 May 2010, 23:55, Reply)

Ha! He's adorable!
I feel privileged and honoured to have such a fine figure of monkeyhood named after me. I might have to add him on facemong, just to see what the little fella's been up to :)
Just don't let Becky anywhere near him, she might have him torn apart by a dog and take photos of it.

Glad you're alright, I hope those boys of yours are keeping you out of mischief!

I'm doing ok, but I have an urge for something right now, I just don't know what
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:02, Reply)

A wank?
I'm shite at staying out of mischief - only last week I snogged the singer from the Levellers....

*swoons*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:04, Reply)

I am here you know!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 28 May 2010, 0:08, Reply)

You filthy hussy
I hope that you at least copped a feel too?

Naw, I've already had 2 or 3 wanks tonight, but now I'm having a nice dinner
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:08, Reply)

Nah, just a cuddle and a snog.

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:26, Reply)

It's alright, I know that you must have
The allure of a good crotch rub is too strong to resist during a snog, but I know you can't say anything with the manwife around
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:31, Reply)

Well, we weren't alone you see,
the rest of the band was there too. DG was round the other side of the pub, cavorting with the lambs ;o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:36, Reply)

Typical DG
Always after the livestock
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:42, Reply)

I WAS NOT!
I was totally impressing the really fit girlfriend of the fiddle player with my TOTALLY AWESOME BEER ORDERING SKILZ and then she frothed in her pants and we had to get a mop to clean it up. When I say mop, I mean a lamb, and then the next day she bought me fish and chips from a chippy that was like six miles away and I totally helped her on that arduous task by getting the cutlery out.

Then I bought her another beer, or at least I asked her of she wanted one, and she frothed her knickers again, made her excuses to her frankly rubbish boyfriend and took me round the corner to show me her etchings, which I refused. Then she totally gave me a hickey and said she was sorry it wouldn't work between us but still gave me her number just in case I changed my mind.



I texted her an hour ago. Nothing yet, but I think she's in Belgium or something giving fiddle boy some moral support. Whilst wishing she was giving me a blow job, beacuse she totally likes cum that tastes like beer and chips.

I win.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 28 May 2010, 0:46, Reply)

Are you 100% sure
she was not a supermodel?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:47, Reply)

She totally looked like Jenny Agutter in the Railway Children.
I used to live near (I say near, really it was about 500 metres away) a railway line. I'd go and wave my underwear at trains and get them to stop because of the MASSIVE log I'd just laid on the line, thus saving hundreds of commuters from a grisly death.

That's where me and Jenny lookalike clicked. Out of respect for her, I totally don't turn into a werewolf after I'd boned her in the shower.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 28 May 2010, 1:14, Reply)

you are a special human being
and a true gentleman
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:15, Reply)

I am totally awesome.
And massive.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 28 May 2010, 1:40, Reply)

the only thing that would make this cooler
is if you had taken drugs. But we can't have everything in life
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:56, Reply)

Ha!
Best thing I've read on b3ta in years!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:52, Reply)

Bullshit.
She totally asked ME to mind her fish and chips for her, then offered ME some first.

Tourette's and Mark
In a tree
K.I.S.S.I.N.G.
First comes love
Then comes marriage
Then comes Tourette's with a baby carriage

*blows raspberry*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:59, Reply)

I'm watching 'you have been watching'
Yo gabba gabba looks like the most mind-boggling bit of childrens television that I've ever seen.

My neighbours have formed a residents association, those fucking nimbys put a letter through my door twice a week complaining about other people parking in their spaces. I've been here five years, the car park has never been more than half full, those cunts would be better off saving their letter-writing energy and just walking ten yards further to their front doors. Cunts.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 27 May 2010, 23:39, Reply)

Well, can't answer about the benefit reform, as I've not yet read about it
Most annoying neighbor.....the ones who leave their windows open and have loud sex, at the same time you can hear his balls slapping against her. Several times they've got a sarcastic round of applause from the rest of us.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 27 May 2010, 23:51, Reply)

sarcastic?
or jealous?
oops, sorry!
i used to live next to a really old guy who had a "friend" visit him once a week. it never lasted more than about 4 minutes and always ended with the most bloodcurdling noises. from him i presume, but i never checked...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Thu 27 May 2010, 23:58, Reply)

If I were Gonz I'd be correcting your spelling......
"jealous" ;o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 27 May 2010, 23:59, Reply)

exsqueese me?
*ninja-ish edits*
what da fuck you talking 'bout?
fight?
grrrrr!
hugs
x
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 28 May 2010, 0:05, Reply)

Growly man hugs right back atcha :o)

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:07, Reply)

taking the manly hugs to bed, i am knackered!
and i have solar energy thinking to do in Sunny Sunderland tomorrow...
x
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 28 May 2010, 0:17, Reply)

No, I've not watched TV in ages
I've no idea about benefits. I'm very uninformed about a lot of things.

I only have a neighbour on one side, he's lovely. I rarely have to hear him plowing his girlfriend, who is also a friend of mine. The people in my halls are lovely, apart from when they did godawful drumming practice when I was working and the screaming annoying people who run around the courtyard. STOP HAVING FUN DAMN YOU
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 27 May 2010, 23:53, Reply)

The BASTARDS!
Cunt them in the fuck, that's what I'd do.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 27 May 2010, 23:57, Reply)

I'll throw empty cans at them.
I'd throw full ones, but I need to eat.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:01, Reply)

Language!
Kids could be reading this you foul mouthed reprobate!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 28 May 2010, 0:04, Reply)

Fuck off banjo boy

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:05, Reply)

So this is what true love is
♥
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:17, Reply)

It really is
I'd pay good money to have a girl sleeping on the other side of my bed, quietly resenting my existence
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:23, Reply)

Yay for halls
Less yay for all the finallists who have their exams half way through term and insist on being very loudly trashed so everyone knows theyre finished, but do it in an out of the way place so the porters don;t notice RIGHT OUTSIDE MY FUCKING WINDOW!

Also, I have the room above the gym, and as such will normally be revising to either the *whump* *whump* *whump* *whump* of someone on the treadmill, the *CLANG* of someone dropping the weights (which can be heard 2 floors up), or the screaming of the rowing teams training (for the women's teams, substitute excessively loud music.).

On the plus side, it means I will probably get the same room next year, so wont have to move all my stuff into vac storage (I have an ergonomic chair (which is going home anyway) and a height adjustable desk from DSA due to having a spakky back, so not having to lug the desk up a flight of stairs is a definite plus)
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Fri 28 May 2010, 0:14, Reply)

Ha awesome.
My room's quite quiet. I overlook the courtyard, not the road. And I'm in the old block, hence a big room.

I'm dying my hair at the moment. No idea how it'll turn out. It's exciting.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:15, Reply)

I'm in the traditional '60s monstrosity
Which all colleges in Oxford and Cambridge have at least one of.
Luckily, it was designed by someone with a bit of sense so instead of a tiny roomed glass and concrete monstrosity, we have a large roomed brick building, with epic kitchens with balconies, but which only avoids looking ugly as fuck by being made of bricks (and even then, that's probably just because I'm used to it).

My previous room was in the nice looking old bit, still fairly large by student room standards, but the kitchen was smaller than the shower.
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Fri 28 May 2010, 0:21, Reply)

you get kitchens :(
We have one kitchen for the whole JCR.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:24, Reply)

Your not at Jesus by any chance?
I remember them proudly proclaiming in the prospectus that there was a toaster somewhere in college.

They were fairly quickly removed from the list I was considering.

I'm doing about 90% my own food at the moment, and eating a hell of a lot better than the people going to hall, for not much more money (unless i'm doing something really flashy).
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Fri 28 May 2010, 0:29, Reply)

nope
I'll give you a clue. Best food in the university until the Michelin starred chef fucked off to Christchurch
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:33, Reply)

J'd chose it because of the food
TRUFAX

She's constantly hungry, it's hilarious.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:35, Reply)

I have seen her in hall :D
I knew where I'd seen her was eluding me. But yes have seen her there. I don't generally eat there- breakfast and dinner occasionally. But even without our special chef the food is pretty damn good- and exceptional value
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:37, Reply)

I miss her. She's amazing.
I will try and visit her next term, I'll let you know.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:39, Reply)

Aw you definitely should
Oxford in Michaelmass is beautiful and autumny.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:42, Reply)

Ahhh it's weird R____ will no longer be there
the reason I thought I'd visit Oxford is gone :(

I never visited him. I saw his college. And walked on :(
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:43, Reply)

:(
console with the thought that his college is far more rubbish than your friends and mine.

But end of an era. When do your exams finish, because if you make it up for the end of Trinity term you'll catch the punting and pimms of all the ex-finalists?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:48, Reply)

Third
Yeah, I might pop over actually. Lots of people I've not seen in AGES.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:01, Reply)

If you do
And fancy a student mini-bash, gaz me (though I'll probably be in full on FEAR induced revision mode by then)
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Fri 28 May 2010, 1:03, Reply)

Might possibly do so
I miss my Greek Camp friends, and my school friends too, but if you're around I'll gaz Amberl too.

She should meet me before she realises what she's getting into if she comes to Al's...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:05, Reply)

haha is that a polite way
of estimating me first lol?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:06, Reply)

No, you should be estimating me

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:08, Reply)

shall we say a mutual estimation?
Plus we could count it as like advance pre-drinks
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:10, Reply)

Oh man booze
Deadly but fun
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:13, Reply)

indeed
but no Malibu. The only line I draw is with fruity drinks like Malibu and peach schnapps. Fruity cocktails are fine though
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:25, Reply)

As soon as these exams are over I'm getting a bottle of Jager and drinking it all in one night.
BAM
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:31, Reply)

If you manage that
it will be impressive. I still have the Absolut vodka my dad bought me last term chilling in my pitiful freezer
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:36, Reply)

You really don't want to do that.
Not in white Docs anyway.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 28 May 2010, 1:42, Reply)

lots of time
Trinity term doesn't finish until like the 21st June, so quite a lot of time
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:04, Reply)

Our normal food is meh
Formals range from meh+ to great

Any small special dinner (i.e. subject dinners) is fantastic (especially when the tutor choosing it goes for whatever on the menu sounds most exciting, this year was thai fishcakes for starter, followed by poussins (little chickens) with black truffle)
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Fri 28 May 2010, 0:41, Reply)

formals every night
except guest night (Fri) and self-service night (Sat). But for us a formal is just sticking your gown on over normal clothing. Only guest night is formal black tieish.

I missed my subject dinner. Was annoyed especially given that they had not only partridge, but my favourite dessert wine as well :(
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:44, Reply)

Formals once a week
At least shirt+tie for guys (i've never understood smartness rules for ladies), normally suit. No gowns (because they just make everyone look silly unless you're a scholar)

Our wine fellow is a genius, give him a menu and he selects something utterly wonderful to go with it.
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Fri 28 May 2010, 0:47, Reply)

We created the 30 silly things
to do with your useless Oxford gown, on facebook
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:49, Reply)

Bah,
Doesn't show up on search.

For halfway hall (the only one we need to wear gowns to), one of my friends had forgotten to get a bow tie, so he used the silly shoulder bits instead.

Noone noticed.
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Fri 28 May 2010, 0:54, Reply)

I'm self catered.
Hello beans on toast and 9p noodles in pyjamas!
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:14, Reply)

cheap noodles are awesome

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:24, Reply)

Ditto
HELLO NOT EATING
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:25, Reply)

Today's attempt at cooking was a fail
... so cereal for tea again
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:28, Reply)

I have literally no food
Quite hungry actually
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:31, Reply)

Ran out of ingredients
Missed hall.
A nice healthy dinner of snickers and mini cheddars.
Need to do a big shop on Monday (back home this weekend), anyone got any good suggestions on things to cook?
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Fri 28 May 2010, 1:33, Reply)

My idea of cooking
is putting things in the microwave, so sadly no.

My dinner was a Elevenses raisin bake bar, a can of diet coke and a packet of Chilli Doritos
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:35, Reply)

You're making me hungry now.
I literally have nothing unhealthy :(
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:37, Reply)

The only food I have left
is Special K cereal bars and satsumas. I am fighting the urge to get something really unhealthy. Along the lines of 'won't somebody think of the thighs!'
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:42, Reply)

I don't have snacking food.
I cook from scratch, so everything in have is in basic ingredient form.
So I have a lot of food, just nothing I can actually eat.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:46, Reply)

My specialty is what I like to call "Lets see whats in the cupboard stir fry"
Stir fry some chicken in olive oil, whack in a few veg. Then add random amounts of soy sauce, chili sauce, lemon juice and honey. Sorted.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:36, Reply)

That's the plan during exams
Got a ton of mint to use up (turns out it grows REALLY FAST) so lamb burgers are definitely on the horizon
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Fri 28 May 2010, 1:40, Reply)

There's also "What's about to go off pasta sauce"
Soften onions and peppers in a pan, tin of chopped tomatos or tomato passata and then literally anything you can think off works well.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:47, Reply)

Or chicken with cheese
The cheese helps disguise the risk of salmonella.

Also "pot at the back of the fridge soup"

Not sure what it was when I first cooked it, but boil it in a big pan until dead and chuck a load of herbs in
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Fri 28 May 2010, 1:50, Reply)

I know very little about other colleges
I thought that was Jesus as well...

Possibly Trinity?
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Fri 28 May 2010, 0:38, Reply)

Clare?
Or Queens?

That's assuming you're in Cambridge...
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 28 May 2010, 11:36, Reply)

I've been so over-saturated by politics
that I haven't even read a paper in three days. I have no idea what is happening in the world of benefit-reform, but I know reform needs to happen

Neighbours wise. If the person on the other side of the wall plays Snow Patrol or Dido again I will go mad.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:20, Reply)

I always misread that as Dildo

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:25, Reply)

that would be worse

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:27, Reply)

In what way would listening to dildo be worse than
That screechy, mono-tone voiced harridan whining about her shite flags?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:29, Reply)

I thought someone had nicked mine the other day
Turned out it was one of the lads having a shave.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:32, Reply)

so that's what the yoof call it

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:33, Reply)

Pffft, for a second there I thought you meant your dildo


...by which I mean Davros's Granddad, obviously
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:35, Reply)

OI!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 28 May 2010, 0:47, Reply)

My hair is orange
HAHAHA
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:31, Reply)

oh bugger
did you leave it in too long?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:32, Reply)

I'm not bothered at all
think it looks quite cool. I toyed with dying it orange anyway.

I'm either going to leave it like this or dye a mad colour over it. Though it is mad on its own

Me, about an hour ago. It's lighter now. Still orange.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:34, Reply)

that's not bad
it's quite coppery. From dark hair you did pretty well to get there, did you bleach first?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:36, Reply)

That was before the second lot of dye
It's prelightener.

At the moment there's patches of the light blonde I was aiming for, but my fringe is still orange.

It's either frightfully awful or awfully frightful.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:38, Reply)

well it's not so difficult to fix
if you really don't like it, as long as you have quite strong hair. If it turns out absolutely awful you might need to strip the hair and redye, but a second batch of prelightener on another day and then a darker shade of blond should sort it out if it goes light enough
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:40, Reply)

2 batches of prelightener already
My hair will be fucked.

NOT NAKED JUST STRAPLESS JUMPSUIT
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:41, Reply)

that really is not bad
promise. It looks quite coppery-blond. Definitely doesn't need more pre-lightener. It will also look really nice under sunlight
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:45, Reply)

I miss my black hair already.
No I don't lol. It's just a bit patchy. It'll be fiiiiiine, I'll get laughed at by a few people but it could have been worse.

Besides, b3tans have seen my yellow hair before. I'm just impressed it took out about 3 things of black dye and 4 of purple.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:47, Reply)

I'm impressed
I haven't dyed my hair in ages, so it's currently natural dark blond. The last time was actually the abortive green streaking that turned my hair green. Not good times.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:51, Reply)

It has been
Blondish
Brown with red sheen
Yellow
Purple
Black
other two repeating for a while
GINGER
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:03, Reply)

which is your favourite?
*goes to look for picture of self with green hair*
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:04, Reply)

Probably black
Like in my profile (both profiles) picture

Least favourite was yellow
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:07, Reply)

not your best photo
but you do remind me of a greek bust in that one
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:08, Reply)

Not as bad as some of the others from that set
man I was wasted. There's a great video of me dancing to Flo Rida from that night...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:09, Reply)

How do I do a small link?
from a facebook photo, or should I upload to b3tards?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:10, Reply)

<a href="link here">hahaha I know HTML</a>
Like that? Or a shortened one?

Include the http:// Right click on image should get image url, just whack that in.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:12, Reply)

Preview it *<not this bit>
replace the bit not inside angled brackets*

*header note because they get auto formatted out in the body

It's along the lines of {a href=www.cheese.com}yay for cheese{/url}

but with the angled brackets (seriously, how do you type those without it getting rid of them)
yay for cheese
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Fri 28 May 2010, 1:17, Reply)

You terrible penis.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:18, Reply)

:D

( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Fri 28 May 2010, 1:19, Reply)

PURPLE LINK

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:19, Reply)

Fine
Have the real one

Oddly informative
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Fri 28 May 2010, 1:20, Reply)

wat

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:20, Reply)

Righto
I'm shit and can't manage it. But you saw anyhow. That green stayed in there for weeks
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:21, Reply)

How did it end up green in the first place?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:23, Reply)

I have green eyes
and thought it would be nice if I streaked my hair green for an MSI gig. It came out perfect on one side, but spread from the streaks on the other, meaning that quite a lot of hair was green. I spent most of my time in the shower for the next week trying folk remedies like tomato ketchup
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:26, Reply)

Whoops.
Green's a tricky colour for hair, I think. As is orange.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:30, Reply)

very true
Toni and Guy are advertising for people to colour hair for, was thinking about it. Might go a sort of chesnut brown, or possibly lighter blond
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:34, Reply)

Lighter blond would be nice
You suit blonde
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:36, Reply)

Cheers
and it's free. Being a student makes you appreciate free things even if they're shit
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:37, Reply)

You have a beautiful smile
By which I mean that the far away, worried look on your face gives me an erection.

Your hair's fine, don't worry about it
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:40, Reply)

I'm quite worried :/
It's been a while since I dyed my hair a stupid colour, my flatmates will love it
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:42, Reply)

Well it doesn't look bad
So as long as you're ok with it, and you're happy or at least able to laugh at yourself for not getting it quite how you wanted it, you'll be fine!

Ooh, I'm talking all nice to a girl, I can feel my ovaries palpitating
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:46, Reply)

Hahaha thank you mister
It's only the fact my fringe is a different colour. It's amusing though, it'll be fine.

I've had lots of different colours, it's something different.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:48, Reply)

You still haven't resolved the problem of my erection?
I think it's partly because in your photo you look as though you may have recently been the victim of a serious sexual assault
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:56, Reply)

and balance has been restored

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:57, Reply)

We can all breathe a sigh of relief
I was starting to get worried there, but I did mean it as a compliment.
If I had a type, I'd probably be best off looking for her at the nearest rape crisis centre
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:00, Reply)

Surely my face would have scared it back into its burrow?
Thankfully I've never been a victim of such a thing.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:03, Reply)

I'd pay you a compliment here
But then you might start to like me, and then I'd have to spend the next three years destroying you mentally
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:09, Reply)

This place has destroyed me already

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:14, Reply)

Get to bed you silly cunts

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:14, Reply)

You get to bed
Or at least come down here, tuck me in and read me a story
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:20, Reply)

I'm not going to work tomorrow, so no. Shant

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:21, Reply)

Just show him the Bravissimo catalogue,
he'll be off in no time.
I hear your job went tits up, but you're going to do locum work instead - that sounds canny like pet :o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:26, Reply)

Reet canny like xx

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:29, Reply)

Geet muckle canny ye knaa
xxx
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:32, Reply)

Get a fucking room you two.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 28 May 2010, 1:44, Reply)

Who?
You mean me and Mark?
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:54, Reply)

Oh yeah, congratulations on the new job by the way
I don't start til 10.30 this morning so I'll be fine, but I might just knock one out and go to bed now
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:28, Reply)

So long as you're not thinking about me while you rub one out

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:30, Reply)

Heehee, you wish
I'm printing Lampito's picture and giving it a back story as we speak
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:34, Reply)

Now I have a vivid picture of you with a huge roll of "sticky-backed plastic"
a la Blue Peter ;o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:38, Reply)

'make your own wank fodder'
the special that never aired
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:41, Reply)

That's given me an idea!
I could laminate it for bert afterwards, then he'll have a re-usable, "wipe clean" wank board :o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:53, Reply)

a fantastic idea
also for shower usage
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:54, Reply)

I think "5 a day" refers to portions of fruit & veg consumed.
If you're OFF, I wish you sweaty dreams ;o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:31, Reply)

Who did you sell your soul to?

( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Fri 28 May 2010, 0:33, Reply)

Boots.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:34, Reply)

Boots the chemist
Or boots the gay blue monkey from dora the explorer?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 28 May 2010, 0:49, Reply)

I've never seen Dora The Explorer
Did your last girlfriend make you watch it after you picked her up from playgroup?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:02, Reply)

No, my daughter did
You daft bint :)
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:04, Reply)

I don't know a lot about you
apart from the fact I think I missed you in your prime of posting here :P
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:08, Reply)

I was fucking awesome

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:15, Reply)

May I ask why your cock is raggedy?

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:08, Reply)

the playschool girlfriend
uses teeth

/too far?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:09, Reply)

LOLZ! :-D
Not far enough ;o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:22, Reply)

A+ for effort though
The girl's got promise
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:24, Reply)

That she has!

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:29, Reply)

Cockbats
oglaf.com/cockbats/1/
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:09, Reply)

I love that site

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:14, Reply)

My favourite webcomic.
By the way, there is a 95% chance I'm going to fail tomorrow. Yay.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:15, Reply)

This is my favourite
oglaf.com/northerner/

NO NO NO don't think like that. there's 5% you'll pass.
Good luck honey, you'll be fine.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:17, Reply)

This one's mine.
oglaf.com/pinkhaze/

Thank youuu, Having difficulty concentrating when I have a super mega awesome house party with a bouncy castle lined up for tomorrow night
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:22, Reply)

wooooooow
that sounds awesome


I have the feeling there's a joke in that that I'm not getting.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:25, Reply)

The berserkers?
Have my second favourite instead.
oglaf.com/skulls/
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:27, Reply)

Yeah. Maybe I'm reading into it
I do like that one too.

ILOVE ALL OF THEM, there's so much cock.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:29, Reply)

And vagina!
Bloody hell, its just started absolutely pissing it down, like horrendously.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:31, Reply)

I thought for a second you were still talking about vaginas.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:32, Reply)

Haha, lovely
There's thunder and EVERYTHING!
This has made me so happy, I just wish I could go out an enjoy it.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:34, Reply)

that comic is amazing and scary
in equal proportion
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:32, Reply)

It's fantastic :D

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:37, Reply)

hilting
had me actually laughing and wincing at the same time. Saved to favourites I think
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:39, Reply)

It was just a compliment paid to me by an old friend

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:17, Reply)