You fucking BUMDER.
I hope you are glad to know I woke up without a hangover on Saturday :D A nasty shoulder, a horrible feeling of shame and the very definition of "the waking up is harder when you want to die", but no hangover.

Amy woke up covered in graffiti, such as "SUPPORT WOLVES, THEY'RE NOT THAT BAD" and "MY DILDO'S NAME IS M______". We tried to gauge who'd had the most disastrous night.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 10:26, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Who names their dildo "Milton Keynes"?
Oh, wait, don't answer that.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Most boring sex evar.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:07, Reply)

Chompy, of course

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:08, Reply)

I was subtly referring to said Chompy

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:09, Reply)

Sorry, bit slow this morning
_{Having been partly gassed by the billowing miasma of BO produced by my students just now}
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Hose them down

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Due to the lack of hoses (or, indeed, hosiery) in this office
I may have to do so with the kettle.

But then that might wash all the grease off of them and onto the floor, and we'll all slip over on the puddle of their grease when we try to leave the office and then we'll all be slipping and sliding around in this blotchy puddle of oily residue and the whole thing suddenly just seems too unpleasant to think about...
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:18, Reply)

Oh dear.
Milton Keynes' concrete cows and generally concrete nature -- Dildo called 'Milton Keynes' must be concrete -- cf The Naked Gun: "...trespassing, breaking and entering, and sexual assault with a concrete dildo?" -- Brief fit of puerile laughter at desk.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:10, Reply)

Oh god I hope it's well-sanded.
Unless he likes a bit of "rough"...

Fuck I think I'm going to be sick.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Not sanded, else it won't get purchase
Saves him having to use sand as a 'lubricant'.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:13, Reply)

AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:14, Reply)

*second-rate Michael Winner impersonation*
"Calm down, dear, it's just a sex toy for the hellishly deviant."
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:20, Reply)

oh fuck no
no no no no no NO don't you dare come near me with that concrete marrow.

If you and Chompy had a lovechild, I think it would be that.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:24, Reply)

...but I thought you were up for a bit of marrow donation...?

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Reading through the procedures
which would involve me being in hospital for 4 days, 3 nights, I still think the BONE marrow would be preferable.

Not being boned by a marrow.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:28, Reply)