So I failed to give a blood sample for the bone marrow clinic yesterday
on account of my "teeny tiny delicate veins". So there goes my ambition to be a smackhead.

What dreams of yours have recently been crushed? Or conversely, realised?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 9:45, 72 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I wanted to be attractive, funny, popular, a good friend, a talented chef, a delicate yet strong lover, and well respected.
So far so good!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 9:50, Reply)

It's almost as though nobody has ever said this to you before
Lies. On the internet.

Have you had a haircut yet, you hippie girl?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 9:53, Reply)

Aye, long time back

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 9:54, Reply)

Well you still look like a girl
I can see your fallopian tubes
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 9:55, Reply)

How odd

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 10:17, Reply)

My dream of one day respecting the Mirror have been crushed
www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2010/06/01/will-i-find-a-man-who-s-milton-keynes-on-me-we-look-for-love-in-britain-s-most-romantic-town-115875-22300482/
(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 9:51, Reply)

I laughed so much at the title of that.
I didn't know about the cows, though.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 9:54, Reply)

I live in Campbell park though,
she was nice about that part of MK.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 10:09, Reply)

stop googling Milton fucking Keynes!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 10:04, Reply)

Make me

(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 10:08, Reply)

touche
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 10:15, Reply)

So what were the most popular cup cakes at your party?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 10:23, Reply)

The rainbow cakes
just for the pure rainbowy joy. Someone also gave the raspberry and white chocolate ones a mark of "holy shit out of 5" so I think that's a good thing.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 10:59, Reply)

raspberry and white choc
sound delicious!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:03, Reply)

My ex introduced those muffins to me the first time we met in person
Fuck that was an odd day.
I think there are still photos from that day waiting to be developed, and it was waaaay back in August '06
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:11, Reply)

I read person
as prison. Amused me.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:34, Reply)

We were prison bitches
they forgot to do a physical and put him in the women's wing by mistake. IT WAS FATE
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:36, Reply)

I like the way that article
descends into unproofread gibberish at the end. Clearly a struggle to get that far through a story about Milton Keynes.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 10:51, Reply)

I dreamt that some cunt did'nt post a thread directly after me
But then some cunt did
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 9:54, Reply)

Ooh soor-ree. Taking the internet too seriously?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 9:55, Reply)

Nah, I'm alright thanks
How's your hair?

Or did that have sex with sexface too? :(
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 9:57, Reply)

Still orange
In need of a wash, but I'll do that later.

I think my hair was black when I had sex with sexface.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 9:58, Reply)

Was he any good?
I'm only asking for research purposes
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 10:13, Reply)

>_<

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 10:17, Reply)

What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
I need a sex avatar. The last few years of my life were so emasculating that I need somebody to get out there and start poking around for me.

But unlike the film, these people will only be blue at the end
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 10:25, Reply)

It means "Oh god I don't want to remember that night/morning"

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Coyote Ugly?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Consider them a blessing
My veins are large and prominent. This is a bad combination with a dislike of needles and a lot of medical student friends, who frequently look down at the vast green tunnels on the back of my hand and say,
"Ooh, I'd love to canulate that..."

How's it going?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 10:11, Reply)

Mine are very visible, I guess that is due to being milkywhite.
Got a fuck-off bruise, thank god they only did it in one arm.

A friend of mine has really prominent veins. But I guess his blood supply is mainly tea and possibly wine after he drank 2 litres in one night.

Absolutely terribly, thanks. Your good self?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 10:17, Reply)

Oddly enough we found ourselves in a pub last night in which the landlord's wife was a nurse
and had various stories about attempts - successful or otherwise - to remove blood from people. Tales of massive bruises on account of accidentally going through the other side of the vein appear to be commonplace. Just to reassure you, you know.

I'm actually quite relaxed today, if a little hungover, after a pleasantly gay afternoon frolicking along the river with T and picking elderflowers. We shall be making the whole experience more manly (GRRR) later today by turning them into BOOZE. (GRRR)
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 10:23, Reply)

You fucking BUMDER.
I hope you are glad to know I woke up without a hangover on Saturday :D A nasty shoulder, a horrible feeling of shame and the very definition of "the waking up is harder when you want to die", but no hangover.

Amy woke up covered in graffiti, such as "SUPPORT WOLVES, THEY'RE NOT THAT BAD" and "MY DILDO'S NAME IS M______". We tried to gauge who'd had the most disastrous night.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Who names their dildo "Milton Keynes"?
Oh, wait, don't answer that.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Most boring sex evar.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:07, Reply)

Chompy, of course

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:08, Reply)

I was subtly referring to said Chompy

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:09, Reply)

Sorry, bit slow this morning
_{Having been partly gassed by the billowing miasma of BO produced by my students just now}
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Hose them down

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Due to the lack of hoses (or, indeed, hosiery) in this office
I may have to do so with the kettle.

But then that might wash all the grease off of them and onto the floor, and we'll all slip over on the puddle of their grease when we try to leave the office and then we'll all be slipping and sliding around in this blotchy puddle of oily residue and the whole thing suddenly just seems too unpleasant to think about...
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:18, Reply)

Oh dear.
Milton Keynes' concrete cows and generally concrete nature -- Dildo called 'Milton Keynes' must be concrete -- cf The Naked Gun: "...trespassing, breaking and entering, and sexual assault with a concrete dildo?" -- Brief fit of puerile laughter at desk.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:10, Reply)

Oh god I hope it's well-sanded.
Unless he likes a bit of "rough"...

Fuck I think I'm going to be sick.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Not sanded, else it won't get purchase
Saves him having to use sand as a 'lubricant'.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:13, Reply)

AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:14, Reply)

*second-rate Michael Winner impersonation*
"Calm down, dear, it's just a sex toy for the hellishly deviant."
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:20, Reply)

oh fuck no
no no no no no NO don't you dare come near me with that concrete marrow.

If you and Chompy had a lovechild, I think it would be that.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:24, Reply)

...but I thought you were up for a bit of marrow donation...?

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Reading through the procedures
which would involve me being in hospital for 4 days, 3 nights, I still think the BONE marrow would be preferable.

Not being boned by a marrow.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:28, Reply)

They don't usually have much trouble finding my veins
but I have really lazy blood, so if I don't constantly open and close my fist the blood just stops flowing into the bag. I also have quite low iron so they make me sit there for ages afterwards to make sure I don't fall asleep in the road on the way home. Free biscuits though :D
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 10:21, Reply)

They managed to find a vein in my left arm, wiggled it around
no blood came out, even though I kept pumping my fist like crazy. Took the fucking needle out and blood came running down my arm. Well, you just can't please some people.

They were preparing to do the same to the other arm when someone stopped them. Apparently they only allow one attempt. Oooh dear :D
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 10:23, Reply)

I let a student nurse do mine
that's how hard I am. I felt sorry for her because the last three people had said no. She did it fine though and was really grateful.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 10:45, Reply)

When I give blood, they have to get the doctor to find my veins.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 10:50, Reply)

I had no problem giving blood
actually, they tested both of my arms. And in the end went back to the arm they started with.

Plus I'm pretty common blood type. My mum is rarer, and she's too scared to. My dad is not happy with this :/
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:07, Reply)

I've been to give blood twice
But both times been turned down because of recently having had a tattoo or piercing. Instead, I drive around looking for road traffic accidents or pub punchups, quickly give myself a vicious papercut, and fling my blood at the mangled victims.

Just doing my bit, y'know.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 10:46, Reply)

I have the same problem with the piercings/tattoos rule
but I can give blood again at the end of this month so I'd better start eating some liver.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 10:58, Reply)

Eww, liver's disgusting
Maybe make liver cupcakes to make it taste nicer? Glad to here your soiree was a success!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:02, Reply)

Thanks
One of my cupcake books has a recipe for pesto and sunblush tomato cupcakes so liver might not be that strange.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:35, Reply)

It'd still be wrong though

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:40, Reply)

I can't give blood
I've tried several times, but my hemogoblin is always too low, so they feel sorry for me and give me biscuits anyway.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 1 Jun 2010, 10:52, Reply)

My Emo Goblin's too low too
He's called Wellgroomedwookiee
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 10:53, Reply)

POTD

( girlinthehole, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Poor Wookie.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:06, Reply)

I have large veins.
But then that's no surprise.
( girlinthehole, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Why is that no surprise?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Because everything on me is large.

( girlinthehole, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Shush you
you have lovely titties.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:14, Reply)

: )

( girlinthehole, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Besides I'm quite large myself
I weighed myself yesterday for the first time in ages (had to put my weight down on the form for marrow donation). I remember when I was miserable for going over 10st...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Marrow donation?
I've never done that. But I have given away a few cucumbers.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Monty beat you to that :P
a e


lol beet is a vegetable too
though knowing my luck it's not technically or something
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 12:00, Reply)

I didn't see Monty's reply.
I may have to squash him for it.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 12:03, Reply)

It's in a thread from yesterday

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 12:05, Reply)

Ah, I wasn't here much yesterday
I'd have read it if I had bean.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 12:09, Reply)

that's hicelerious

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 12:12, Reply)