Can't say I have, thinking about it.
One I thing I am definitely incapable of pretending to be is NOT FUCKING PLEASED TO BE GOING ON HOLIDAY TOMORROW.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 8:57, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

have you packed your speedos?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 9:00, Reply)

They're in the suitcase
wrapped round his Bowie CDs.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 9:01, Reply)

My tweed speedos?
Or 'tweedos' as I think they should be called.

*files patent*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 9:01, Reply)

Genius at this time in the morning?
You excel yourself, sir.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 9:02, Reply)

Why, thank you, Master Mingelips.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 9:03, Reply)

Imagine how long
a pair of tweedos™ would take to dry!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 9:03, Reply)

superb

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 9:13, Reply)

Hooray! I hope it goes well.

( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 9:01, Reply)

Me too.
I am somewhat scared.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 9:02, Reply)

Go and have a good time, and stop whinging.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 9:01, Reply)

NEVERRRRRRR!!!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 9:02, Reply)

And don't shag the ex.

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 9:04, Reply)

Well nothing beyond fingering.....OK.
*is surprised at my ability to be uncouth*
( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 9:05, Reply)

*is similarly surprised*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 9:23, Reply)

*is not*

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 9:28, Reply)

*laughs at tranny's inability to spot sarcasm*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 9:32, Reply)

Well duh

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 9:33, Reply)

^ worst 'Grease' medley EVER.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 9:36, Reply)

^ Shirter

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 9:42, Reply)

*hand-jives*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 9:47, Reply)

it took me ages to work out where I'd seen the First Lady from the West Wing
turns out she was Rizzo. She rocks.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 10:06, Reply)

Rizzo was a slut
BUNG!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 10:08, Reply)

she was a tart with heart

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 10:20, Reply)

I really, really don't want to.
I picked them up from the station last night, fresh from their PREVIOUS holiday to Spain, and, even though she looked extraordinarily attractive with her Mediterranean tan, when we got to her house, her neighbours were having a party and I saw her dark side come out big time.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 9:12, Reply)

She used the force on them?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 9:14, Reply)

Nothing would surprise me, to be honest.
The force, or 'a knife'....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 9:15, Reply)

There's stacks of old ruins for you to visit.
and the WW2 sites.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 9:07, Reply)

This is what I am after, Bartles.
None of your Brits-abroad peasantry for me.


*turns nose up*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 9:14, Reply)

Just avoid the Raki

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 9:26, Reply)

I'd rather drink pool cleaner.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 9:32, Reply)

Speaking of Brits abroad
If you wanted to fill your time, I'm sure there are plenty of obnoxious British tourists loitering around Crete who need a good Facepunching.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 9:36, Reply)

I'm taking my tweed knuckledusters
and sword-stick.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 9:40, Reply)

I notice a running theme of tweed
This isn't a nod to your secret admiration for Jarvis "Cockend" Cocker, is it?
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 10:00, Reply)

I used to hate him
but once he'd done that Michael Jackson stage invasion thing I have nothing bad to say about the fellow.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 10:03, Reply)

That's a good point actually
Pretentious bell-end he might be, but with that stage invasion, I think he spoke for all of us by upstaging that mincing plasticated paedophile.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 10:06, Reply)