Green day? You had a lucky escape
I'll pander to you, if you like swipey, I'm really good at it nowadays.

How's your backtits and vagina tongue?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 19:35, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

but i had club wembley seats
how can hacking up phlegm be better than champagne bar and live music? your logic be flawed.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 19:37, Reply)

My logic has always been flawed
but I'd still rather listen to an industrial cheesegrater blending my own cock than listen to pseudo-punk songs like basketcase and 'ahwannabeahmahnoridy x1000'
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 19:40, Reply)

i am going to say that there is actually
zero truth in this statement. oh bert.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 19:43, Reply)

You're right
I'd still go along for the champagne and stuff, but I'd still put little bert into an industrial cheesegrater for kicks
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 19:46, Reply)

it's probably a once in a lifetime experience

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 19:49, Reply)

Of course it is
Once I've stuck my cock in a cheesegrater, it's not like I'll be able to do it again.

Let's change the subject now, as we seem to be the only ones here maybe I can attempt a normal conversation.
So, besides not going to rock concerts and phlegming up all over the shop, what are you doing this weekend?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 20:05, Reply)

well ok
but it might ruin your rep. tomorrow i am sneaking up to cheshire to surprise my daddy for father's day. ye?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 20:10, Reply)

I don't have a reputation worth worrying about.
That sounds sweet, will you be taking him anywhere nice?
I'll be forcing my little girl to take me out for lunch tomorrow, and she's promised me breakfast in bed, but I'm hoping she means cereal and orange juice, as I'm not sure I'd trust her with the toaster
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 20:14, Reply)

fuck better book somewhere, well reminded
christ hope you get breakfast in bed and not a fire in the kitchen...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 20:19, Reply)

Ah, she'll be fine
she's a clever little sod, and she can't reach the toaster anyway. I'll keep an eye on her.

Book somewhere? Cor, you're posh. At most I'm expecting a pub lunch, or maybe pizza express
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 20:22, Reply)

i have just booked the alderley hotel
tres ya-ya, dah-ling. well, if you like tango'd footballer's wives driving their husband's cars, anyway.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 20:29, Reply)

I certainly don't
but you best be careful taking your dad somewhere like that, the jaundiced, boob-jobbed tarts might give the poor feller a heart attack
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 20:32, Reply)

he will be duly blindfolded

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 20:42, Reply)

You and your dad
are into some seriously kinky shit
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 20:44, Reply)

we're from up north
what did you expect
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 20:52, Reply)

Oop north?
Are we talking whippets and flatcaps, or irn bru and headbutting your nan in a manskirt?

EDIT reply to the main thread instead of this post, this is getting silly
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 20:57, Reply)