He's not that good at defending himself anyway.
He just tries to be super cool and pretend he doesn't care about any of it. But really he writes it all down in his pretty pink princess journal and cries himself to sleep every night.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:09, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's leather-bound
to lock in the tears
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:12, Reply)

If you could get pink leather you'd want it though
(vague concern that Kitty is vegetarian surfaces)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:14, Reply)

no, she loves meat

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:17, Reply)

OH MY GOD IS THAT A COCK JOKE?! ON TEH INTERNETZ?!!
I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me. Apart from a gallon of spaff, obviously
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:23, Reply)

always thinking of cock aren't you?
I was just saying that kitty is a meat eater
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:28, Reply)

Course you were
Also: yes
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:32, Reply)

I was veggie for a while
it's Wiggy's fault I'm not now. His meals always looked and smelled so much more delicious than mine.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:34, Reply)

It's got a padlock as well.
So his mum can't snoop when she's cleaning his room.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:16, Reply)

and/or wanking over your pole pictures

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:46, Reply)

then stares at a girl on a bus.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:18, Reply)