Wiggy tries to motorboat me
by squishing my boobs into a cleavage and then smushing his face against them. It doesn't work and it's quite uncomfortable.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 18:14, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

goodness, tell him to be gentle!

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 18:19, Reply)

He forgets.
He likes to squeeze them and go "haw-honk" but he won't let me do the same to his balls.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 18:21, Reply)

You know how boobs make deeper honking noises the bigger they are?
What happens with fake ones? Do they make a noise appropriate for their size or do they retain the original noise that nature intended?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 18:24, Reply)

They probably make a noise like squishing a water balloon

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 18:27, Reply)

I want to know now
Surely there must be a B3tan with fake boobs? Or one who could be persuaded to get them?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 18:28, Reply)

I know someone with fake tits.
She got the kind that can be made bigger with an injection.
I've never touched them though :(
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 18:42, Reply)

The girl who sits next to me at work has falsies
It was our last day working together today and she wouldn't let me have a feel. Something to do with it being horribly inappropriate, and her being pregnant. Selfish cow.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 18:46, Reply)

hahahahaha

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 18:49, Reply)

Hang on - they can be made bigger with an INJECTION?!
So you people CAN change the size of your norks!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 18:47, Reply)

I'm fairly certain that's only if you already have fake ones.
If you want you can try on yourself and let us know how it goes!
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 18:50, Reply)

Um, you're alright ta
You probably wouldn't fancy me any more if I had breasts

Your friend's boyfriend must have a hell of a time. "What's this?! You've bought me sexy underwear in a 34DD?!! I'M A 34F (today) YOU IDIOT!!!"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 18:52, Reply)

heyheyhey! lets not get out of line here!!
I never said she was my friend!
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 18:53, Reply)

Well now you have to make her your friend
and GROPE HER
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 19:03, Reply)

Am I going to have to do a report on this or something?

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 19:05, Reply)

Yes
I want to know;

- What sound they make
- Whether this sound is representative of their size, were the tits natural (squeeze your own for comparison)
- How much you enjoyed it
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 19:14, Reply)

That's not fair at all.
Next time you meet my chimp (Burt Chimpcaster) you'll have to ask him. Motorboating is one of his specialities and he's very tender.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 18:25, Reply)

He does look like he has downy soft fur
so I would allow the motorboating. Although with me it's not so much motorboat as those pedalos in the shape of swans at rubbish theme parks.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 18:26, Reply)

Haha ;o)
Lovely imagery! He has soft gentle hands too....
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 18:31, Reply)

God, what a prude, I'd totally dump him and go out with me instead.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 18:39, Reply)

Now that's 100% genuine, bonafide, run of the mill creepy
At least when I say stuff like that I'm kidding
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 18:43, Reply)

QUICKLY ! ADD A SWARE WORD TO ANOTHER WORD TO MAKE A NEW ONE ! FUCKSOCKS ! CUNTUMBRELLA !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 18:47, Reply)

Gonzo-enteritis

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 18:49, Reply)

So, tell me, how many people have you added to your facebook on the basis of them being 'fit' ?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 19:08, Reply)

Zilch, Gonz
I only add people I genuinely know.

Now, how many fat birds have you added in the hope that at least one of them will take pity on you and have a bash at your gonads?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 19:12, Reply)

Yeah', same here, *wink*.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 19:15, Reply)

I've seen your profile
so I know that you're talking bollocks.

The trouble is that arguing with you is like kicking a cross-eyed Andrex puppy with wheels for back legs, sure it's fun for a while, but I'm not proud of it.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 19:17, Reply)

Yup.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 19:21, Reply)

Fucking hell, I've never made myself sound so retarded before.
I thought you were out of order before, and to be honest, loads of other people do too. You bring stuff up on here that shouldn't be here.

But in starting this thing with you, I've only managed to make myself look quite retarded.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 19:24, Reply)

Exactly
and that link was posted on /talk yesterday
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 19:26, Reply)

Christ all mighty, I think you could genuinley be autistic in some way or another.
Stop biting at my ankles and stop bringing up stuff on here that shouldn't be here, and we can all live happily ever after.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 19:35, Reply)

You're going to have to explain
what I've brought up that's upset you so much, by gaz if you prefer.

...and I wasn't biting at your ankles, I was only saying that I'd seen that link before. There's really no need to get so worked up by every post that I make, as you said, it's making you look retarded.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 19:38, Reply)

I'm pleased you've seen that link before, it's also been linked on google and a few other sites.
I'm really not worked up by you, I don't give you a second thought when I'm not here. It's like you don't understand people's intentions, like when I said it makes me look retarded, that was my way of saying 'lets end it', and I meant "we're looking...", but didn't to put you down at all, ovbously you don't like that.

You do seem, at least to me, to bite my ankles.

I've seen you do it a few times, where you've bought up people's personal issues into the public when it's none of your buisness (even if they have mentioned it on here themselves).
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 20:11, Reply)

I don't care enough to argue Gonz
your posts are so poorly written that it's difficult to understand what you mean.
You're not doing a very good job of trying to prove that you're not getting worked up.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 20:26, Reply)