Alt Q:
A really hot bisexual girl, who walks around in skimpy clothes, brings her equally hot girlfriends over for funtimes and doesn't mind me catching them in the act. She also has to be clean and tidy, do her fair share of housework, have an awesome taste in films/music/games, pays her share of the rent/bills on time and be up for random adventure days when we're both bored.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 11:49, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Your chances of getting a girlfriend would plummet dramatically
not least since you'd be incredibly hard pressed to find a girlfriend who was more fun to spend time with than this housemate
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 11:52, Reply)

In that particular fantasy land, I wouldn't need a girlfriend
I don't need one full stop, but I'm very happy with the one I have!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 11:53, Reply)

Fair enough
but should this girl magically materialise and move in to your flat, I predict many an awkward conversation in your future
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 11:55, Reply)

Oh utterly
Which is why it won't happen.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 11:56, Reply)

That and the whole unlikelihood thing

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 11:59, Reply)

THIS IS MORE OR LESS ME.
Apart from the really hot bit. But my mates are all fit. And I'm a bit messy but only in my room. I actually enjoy cleaning, and I like the kitchen and bathroom to be spotless. I also like to cook for people.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 11:52, Reply)

The cooking for me is a bonus, I can barely cook at all
I can also be a bit messy, but only in my room. I live by myself now (apart from half the week when the missus is over), and I love having my own place!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 11:55, Reply)

I had a room mate for about a month
but he made me want to rip his eyes out so I had to kick him out. The final straw came when he ordered cable without telling me. My first clue was a letter addressed to me telling me when the guy would be over to install the huge dish on the side of my house.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 11:57, Reply)

Wow, that's quite a dick move

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 11:59, Reply)

Indeed
He was so annoying that it got to the point where I realised I had become a psychopath. I started getting angry about really unreasonable things, like the cheese thing. He used to grate a ridiculous amount of cheese onto every meal and that started making me angry. It was usually my cheese, but I was like "WHY DO YOU NEED SO MUCH CHEESE?! I HATE YOU!!"
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 12:08, Reply)

I have a lot of cheese on my food
But it's MY cheese, and I'm protective of it. In fact, stealing any of my food (you may use SOME sauces, just don't finish them) is a sin.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 12:09, Reply)

He used to drink a pint of milk every morning
even if it was the only pint left in the fridge.

This led to me getting home from work one night at midnight and finding he'd drunk the pint I'd bought that day. So I had to go out to get another pint (and was stopped by the police for being a hooker) so I could have a coffee in the morning. When I got up the next day, he'd drunk it. I think I blacked out with rage.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 12:23, Reply)

I would have killed him
Several times in different ways. All of them painful
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 7 Jul 2010, 12:39, Reply)

cable generally doesn't require a satellite dish

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 12:32, Reply)

well fine, maybe it was satellite.
It definitely involved giant dish installation.

Pedant
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 12:37, Reply)

;-)

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 12:48, Reply)