Being in the limelight? your experiences, good or bad.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:54, 99 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I once sellotaped a lemon to my bedside lamp, it was glorious.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:55, Reply)

bravo mon gare!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:55, Reply)

I don't need praise, I'm DG you pobber.
Now drop and give me 20 jimmy flips.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:58, Reply)

holy shit it worked.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:01, Reply)

wasn't expecting that

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:02, Reply)

Who's got mod access now Vipros?
Who?
(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:04, Reply)

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:05, Reply)

the mods?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:05, Reply)

That joke deserves a 2 second ban.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:06, Reply)

curses

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:06, Reply)

Not me
I don't even own a moped
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:05, Reply)

who mods the mods?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:03, Reply)

What worked?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:09, Reply)

His new barbed wire waistcoat to stop you from trying to kiss him and put your hands in his pockets.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:10, Reply)

click

(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:11, Reply)

(goes the sound of the lenscap on his rape-oculars)

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:14, Reply)

If he stands with the sun behind him he starts rapey forest fires.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:15, Reply)

Do these help him to seek out booty?
or are they like terminator eyes which give him details on the rape-ability of an individual?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:16, Reply)

*scanning*
I need your clothes, your boobs, and your unicycle.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:19, Reply)

that is outstanding

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:21, Reply)

you, sire
are on form today
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:22, Reply)

although check it
I seem be an older B3TAN than you by THREE MONTHS!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:30, Reply)

Yeah but I like pugs

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:33, Reply)

*reads up on pugs*

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:34, Reply)

Just think of a furry downs

(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:38, Reply)

(goes the childproof lid on the bottle of rohypnol)

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:15, Reply)

I diem't try to do that!
the hands in pockets thing. And I succeeded in kissing him.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:20, Reply)

I bet you felt his lump biffing into your sternum and though:
"Maybe I could wank him through his trousers..." and the rest, is made up, but now fact, history.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:23, Reply)

i just gushed over my legs and drowned a small child

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:43, Reply)

stop thinking about my broom-on them you harlot!

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:45, Reply)

oooh
thread deletage.
( Kroney, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:01, Reply)

I can play nice
but not with Darth Foxtrot, not now he has become my official nemesis.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:03, Reply)

you should change your name to booby pirates

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:12, Reply)

what? where?
I missed it!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:08, Reply)

It was something about if sucking a man's balls makes you a bumder or something.
it was pretty shit.
--------------------------------------------
That will be £5 for DG Information Services.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:09, Reply)

Well?

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:11, Reply)

It is an underground place often used to store water
--------------------------------------------
That will be £5 for DG Information Services.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:13, Reply)

Yes, yes...
but does it make you a bumder?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:14, Reply)

Not if me and you do it.
then it's just classed as sexy.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:17, Reply)

You're worse than that bloke who asked me if his drink tasted of roofies
dont know what was in that drink, but it sure makes your arse hurt.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:21, Reply)

bucket?

( djtrialprice, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:14, Reply)

is the common measured size of most b3tan female's genitalia
--------------------------------------------
That will be £5 for DG Information Services.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:17, Reply)

as in
"she's a real 3 bucketer"
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:17, Reply)

as in
"Her day job is to do a hand stand and transport farm apples."
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:18, Reply)

haha

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:20, Reply)

has more excitments happened while I was not here?
explain things people!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:09, Reply)

well you will wander about in an elf costume
rolling D20s on the grass
( djtrialprice, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:16, Reply)

on the grass!
pah, that way you just end up with cocked dice!

but I'm not denying the elf costume
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:17, Reply)

Don't worry
it was shit.
( Kroney, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:10, Reply)

I love being in the limelight
I'd have liked to have found my place as a national treasure.
I evemn like it when stand-up comedians abuse me. No attention is bad attention.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:48, Reply)

good afternoon
you attention seeking whore!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:51, Reply)

And good afternoon to you to
Camelpops
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:52, Reply)

I told my cousin your Cheryl Cole joke
she told me to fuck off.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:52, Reply)

what's the joke?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:55, Reply)

the "she gotta bite bite bite bite bite from a bug" one.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:57, Reply)

Your cousin needs to have some serious adjustments made to her sense of humour
That joke is topical, vaguely witty and shamelessly victimises a vacuous 'celebrity.' What's not to like about it?
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:59, Reply)

It was said by a scouse?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:00, Reply)

Well, that just suggests it was stolen from somewhere else

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:03, Reply)

yeah well you TOLD your cousin it so you must have thought it worthy
And I don't care if was funny or not.
And the term is 'scouser' not scouse.
I am A scouser, I am scouse.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:13, Reply)

I don't get it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:59, Reply)

from the song fight for you love.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:01, Reply)

i suspect it relates to a tune of hers
I don't get it either. She is a singer isn't she?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:02, Reply)

In the loosest possible sense, yes
(Much like the bowel movement her music reminds me of...)
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:13, Reply)

she probably would have said that no matter what you said to her

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:58, Reply)

Not everyones family hates them.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 16:59, Reply)

haha
that amused me.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:04, Reply)

I predict a lifetime of
face palming
( djtrialprice, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:09, Reply)

Sorry dude

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:13, Reply)

You should come with a warning!

( djtrialprice, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:23, Reply)

I did warn you
You must have thought I was exaggerating
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:24, Reply)

I really need to do something with my autocomplete before anyone else uses my computer next
for an earlier post it opted for "cat raping moose whore" and the other day it opted for "wanking is not catching"
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:05, Reply)

Turn it off!!!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:17, Reply)

where's that, then?
autocomplete is too dangerous when you post on B3TA
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:18, Reply)

You on Firefox or IE or Chrome?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:21, Reply)

*psssst*
Say Konqueror
( djtrialprice, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:24, Reply)

er...
"Konqueror"...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:25, Reply)

You might as well say Opera, Safari, Epiphany and Iceweasel for what it's worth

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:31, Reply)

Oh I see
Well generally in work it;s going to be one of the three I said, intit?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:33, Reply)

Yup.
(Just thought I'd try and out-geek the future incarnation of myself.)
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:34, Reply)

Lynx
Get it up yez!
( djtrialprice, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:34, Reply)

Grrr

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:42, Reply)

I wanna be on iceweasel!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 18:14, Reply)

is that a type of condom?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:37, Reply)

It's the file manager and web browser
that is used by default with Linux windows manager KDE (it was historically at least).
( djtrialprice, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:39, Reply)

firefox
but wouldn't it be cool if it was firefly?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:36, Reply)

ok go to 'Tools'
'Options'
'Privacy'
and un-tick 'Remember search and form history'
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:41, Reply)

I think I've done it
w00t - thanks. Safe now from awkward questions about my posts
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:52, Reply)

Why do people hate IE?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:39, Reply)

I don't

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:40, Reply)

You are therefore not qualifies to answer this question so shoo!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:44, Reply)

it's all buggy and shit
at work I downloaded firefox because IE wouldn't let me have more than 2 tabs open, it would just say 'connecting' and not do anything on any further tabs. WELL ANNOYING.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 18:15, Reply)

I haven't seen IE8
But previous incarnations have been clumsy, slow and insecure in comparison to a lot of rival browsers. Don't know about all the others, but Firefox also offered tabbed browsing from the off, whilst IE offered nothing similar until version 7.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:41, Reply)

Exactly
IE had no competition for several years so did nothing. Didn't improve their product, didn't fix the countless number of major security flaws.

As soon as the open source software movement migrated from Linux to writing Windows applications, users could see the innovation and originality that could be created by volunteers. Microsoft originally stated that "Users don't want tabs". They live in denial and try to use their market share to dismiss competition. I usually try to look for non-Microsoft software where possible as it's generally better quality (apart from development tools - they're on the ball for those).
( djtrialprice, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:48, Reply)

I've usually gone with the same approach
Though I'm not sure about the development tools: when I was teaching C++, they wanted all the students to do it in Visual Studio, which I found to be a massive pain in the arse compared to Dev-C++, which I was used to. (Though someone did suggest that was because the technicians had botched it when they installed VS on the department's network.)
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:52, Reply)

Because it's bug ridden (as are most Microsoft products that aren't Visual Studio)
Has loads of security flaws etc. But primarily the worst problem with IE is that it has completely disregarded web standards laid down by w3.org and rendered pages however they want.

This has meant that web developers end up writing a page twice. Once correctly and again to work with IE. This had led to a very inefficient implementation of web sites across the world. Microsoft deserve to lose market share to force them to sort out their piece-of-shite software. Introducing a "Compatibility Mode" is not fixing the problem.
( djtrialprice, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:44, Reply)

also you can't make it look
as cool
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:53, Reply)

This is true.
I moved over to Firefox because I was promised a more comfortable and secure interface for browsing the internet.

My sister moved over to Firefox because she found out you could make it pink.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:57, Reply)

haha

(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 18:09, Reply)

hidden in the options somewhere

(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:22, Reply)