I'm not a regular, shoot me later.
First, I require your collective knowledge, OTers. What martial art should I study? I'm moving to a new town and having watched Kung Fu Panda last night, I've decided martial arts is an excellent way of making new friends and losing some belleh. (I've also wanted to study a martial art for a few years, but the Panda sealed it.)

I've got a choice of Shi Kon karate, possibly judo, or jiujitsu. There's tai chi as well, but I'm not sure if waving my arms about slowly will help with the keep fit thing.

Answers first, then shooting remember.
( Bats, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:03, 45 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

take up chess boxing
round of chess, round of boxing. repeat until knockout or checkmate.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:07, Reply)

Alright.
Teach me chess first, then I'll do my best to knock your teeth out. Sounds fair enough.
( Bats, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:09, Reply)

I've seen that on the tv.
It looks ace.
( girlinthehole, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:10, Reply)

I'm tempted to have a go
I'm not bad at chess, and if I can get over not liking being hit....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:15, Reply)

Kung Fu
Its great, or Taekwondo if you like kicking. I loved doing Kung Fu but my knees are now fucked (from rugby not Kung Fu) so I can't do it any more so if you do take it up think of me and play a little violin for me.
( Peej, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:15, Reply)

Am I right in thinking
karate is more striking, judo is more grappling and jiujitsu is similar to judo?

There's the Isshin-Ryu Jiujitsu club round where I'm going to be living, but I was under the impression Isshin-Ryu was a school of karate.

Suffice to say I'm confused.
( Bats, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:20, Reply)

Jujitsu is the gayest martial art ever.

( Peej, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:23, Reply)

Whyyyy?
I wasn't aware bumming was an established kata.
( Bats, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:37, Reply)

There's an awful lot of hugging

( Peej, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:38, Reply)

Violent hugging is acceptable.
Hugging resulting in bumlove is not.
( Bats, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:41, Reply)

Karate is boring, Judo is for fat people who like to cuddle.
I suggest Ninjitsu, unless TV and films have lied to me you'll be flying through the air and killing your enemies within about a week.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:21, Reply)

And you get free throwing stars

( Peej, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:23, Reply)

Well duh
:D
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:25, Reply)

There actually is a ninjutsu school round these parts
It's just a shame I'm moving away. I have the motivation and none of the moneys for the travel :( Jiujitsu, judo and karate are about my options.

I may have let my pendantry get the better of me and point out the bad translation of the Japanese on one guy's website. Then asked to join. I think he'll hate me.
( Bats, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:36, Reply)

Kendo,
hitting people with sticks.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:24, Reply)

Who sung something a bit like this?

(Cave Duck, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:27, Reply)

I wouldn't call it singing

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:28, Reply)

more a squeak
followed by a long groan
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:31, Reply)

that's what she said.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:32, Reply)

Several of the schools I visited in Japan had Kendo lessons as part of the daily lessons
They were all hard as nails by the age of 14.
( Peej, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:28, Reply)

That beats the crap out of having do do rugby
or football
or cross country running
or any of the other pointless shit that made me hate PE.

I quite liked hockey
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:31, Reply)

Hockey IS a martial art.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:32, Reply)

It's why I liked it (you were given a weapon)
every other sport seemed to favour the big kids
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:34, Reply)

^This
And the outfits make you look like a proper ninja.
( girlinthehole, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:29, Reply)

Eh? Girly split skirts? And armour?

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:32, Reply)

and a cool mask

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:32, Reply)

Is the tai chi being taught in the combat form?
That combined with jiu jitsu would be awesomely fun.
Real jiu jitsu is fun. Fighting with string ffs.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:31, Reply)

Let's face it.
In the middle of Norfolk, mistranslated kanji and egotistical instructors is about as real as it's going to get.
( Bats, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:38, Reply)

Wax on, whacks off.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:57, Reply)

Just start fights in pub car parks.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:33, Reply)

Are you fookin talkin' ta me, yeah?

(Cave Duck, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:40, Reply)

You looking at me wi that one eye?

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:45, Reply)

See if there is a Bushido class in your area. If so check it out before you pick anything else. If you cant find one message me and I'll speak to my guy.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:46, Reply)

Are you near Norwich?

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:58, Reply)

For my sins, Thetford.
Though I'm going to be going to uni in Cambridge.
( Bats, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:03, Reply)

Gaz Darth Foxtrot.
He'll deny it but there is a secret combat form of Ballroom Dancing.
The sub-genre of Modan Lah Tin is very impressive.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:05, Reply)

I fought the urge
but gave into it.

Bloody Tab
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:07, Reply)

Well
You're just jealous that we can punt under our bridge of sighs.
(Le Misanthrope last procrastinated on, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 12:27, Reply)

No Bristol

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:20, Reply)

I did judo aged about 10, it's gay - but even still, I was fucking terrible.
I gave up when the little girl down the road beat me three weeks in a row. It was most humiliating.

I looked at kendo classes last year, and visited one down near Waterloo. In truth it was fucking terrifying. I bottled it.

I am a thoroughgoing disgrace to my warrior antecedents.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:16, Reply)

Not even a trace of Northern.
*Shakes head sadly for lost kin*
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:33, Reply)

morning Monty
feeling a bit more chipper this week?

got told on saturday by a bunch of people that my band was "world class" and that we'd go far

I suspect they'd had too much cheap ale and scrumpy.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:36, Reply)

Tai Chi is harder than it looks.
If it's the combat version, that is.

I will here parrot the usual advice from the martial arts forums: go to some sample classes and have a go. Do the one you enjoy the most. I assume you've listed those schools because they're the ones you can attend.

I've been engaged in kung fu-lishness for five years and I'm still enjoying it. I did karate for about a year and a half before that, and there may be grappling depending on the school.

Those Shi Kon chaps look like they know what they're doing from the website, but it's hard to tell unless you're there.

Tai chi is usually taught badly and most good practitioners seem to have moved into it from another martial art. Sparring with a good tai chi practitioner is like trying to punch a slippery rock. That keeps hitting you. With an iron bar.

As commonly taught, judo is fairly modern and grappling based; it's the sport-friendly version of jujutsu. Jujutsu has strikes, throws, locks, and weapons in some schools. Weapons are fun. I like weapons. Jujutsu was invented by the samurai for killing people; judo was developed in the late nineteenth century to bring all of the disparate threads of jujutsu together and make it easier to practise without killing people. Either of these two will probably get you fitter faster.
(ThomsonsPier consumes, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 12:14, Reply)

Aikido if you can find the right school/association/instructor
Probably the most street-useful and ethical martial art I've studied. Takes a while though!

CP
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 18:16, Reply)