What is it that makes you "glad to have the baby".
I'm not judging, merely trying to understand the "joy" side of kids... Maybe it's my natural pessimism, but I'm having difficulty in imagining anything other than no sleep, lots of noise and smelly nappies.
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:38, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

^ this.
Despite having two stepsons, I have to agree.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:40, Reply)

I kind of felt this way years ago
but speaking regarding my nieces, you consider the little blighters amazing people. It's really pure wonderment watching the learning process, what an influence you can have on them, how thoughtful and full of love those little people are.

I remember thinking "what if" my sister went ahead with an abortion (she was a young mother) and really couldn't consider life without them. It really is just *amazing* - life changing and for the better.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:44, Reply)

this this this
my cousin has two boys and they were both...erm..."whoops"...anywho, they are little shits, they're bad, and they drive me crazy but they're also very sweet, full of love and so much fun.
The juice is definitely worth the squeeze.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:55, Reply)

because he's absolutely fascinating
he's already walking, started talking, seems to learn something new every day - and he is so much like his dad sometimes, it's creepy. I think it's mainly the amazement that I made him. And kept him alive totally on my own from conception until he was 6 months old (when solid food could be fed by anyone). But mainly, I made this whole new human being, who has a personality, and talents, and flaws, and a sense of humour - it's pretty bloody incredible.
I don't know exactly what it is about him, but he's just great. And when he finally sleeps through the night, he'll be even better...
(he's only 9 months old, so my views may change over time).
( ascorbate, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:44, Reply)

it's that first smile
looking down at something and knowing that you've made it, and hoping, that if you've done a decent enough job, that they will grow up to exceed all of your own achievements
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:46, Reply)

^this
all the firsts that you get to see are brilliant! except the first bath-poo, that wasn't so nice.
( ascorbate, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:47, Reply)

Merconium is the best poo ever

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:47, Reply)

I let mr vitamin c deal with that
I was too busy drugging myself into a stupor to wipe out the pain of pushing a 9lb baby out of me.
( ascorbate, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:48, Reply)

Ouch
Caesareans are the way of the future
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:51, Reply)

aesae rustac
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:51, Reply)

I'm not so sure about that
a slash across my abdomen doesn't sound a huge amount more fun than a scalpel taken to my labia. I think being male and not having to go through childbirth sounds more fun actually.
( ascorbate, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:53, Reply)

Not into watersports, then?
_Sorry...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:53, Reply)

I was jealous back when it happened
I'm not so fussed now. My ex and my sister both had caesareans, it's not as bad as you might think
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:59, Reply)

my roommate had surgery which was the equivalent to caesarean, she couldn't walk properly for a week she was in so much pain, off work for 4 weeks and that was going back early
the scar still bothers her, if it's pushed on it aches
I reckon she's the female version of harry potter
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:01, Reply)

yeah but American surgeons are shit
I mean, just look at Scrubs, that black guy shouldn't even be allowed IN the hospital
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:03, Reply)

Scrubs? Do you think I watch that shit?
No. I don't.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:08, Reply)

you should, it's really funny
I like the Janitor, he's my role model
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:17, Reply)

I read about one woman whose scar didn't heal properly
and her intestines effectively fell out a few weeks after the birth. So it can be dreadful. then again, a friend who had one said it was fine, as she was given some impressive drugs to alleviate the pain.
( ascorbate, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:04, Reply)

You're talking about your last dump, aren't you?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:47, Reply)

^This

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:51, Reply)

I'm so proud
He starts at playschool on Monday
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:59, Reply)

Try not to cry
As you park him in the sandpit.
He'll be happy there.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:00, Reply)

Not quite a haiku.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:18, Reply)

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:19, Reply)

Poor Chickenlady :(

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:21, Reply)

She would approve if she were here

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:24, Reply)

Oh man
You used the subjunctive.
You went up in my estimation.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:24, Reply)

See?
We're meant to be together, Lamps
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:25, Reply)

:(
I don't trust you as far as I could throw you. I'm starting to think I should apply this to everyone.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:28, Reply)

I'm a cunt
you can always trust me to be a cunt
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:29, Reply)

Maybe if we shift the 'as' up to the top line?
I like that, when confronted with the image of Bert taking a steaming turd, possibly wrapped in a nappy and a tiny little t-shirt, and depositing it with the confused staff of a playschool, your first thought was "That almost scans like a haiku."
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:21, Reply)

It's the way my minds work,
and the bloody way you phrased it.

Next time, triolet.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:22, Reply)

Have you set me this task because it will be a challenge
Or because of the resemblance between 'triolet' and 'toilet'?
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:25, Reply)

It was the first form that came into my head
possibly as I read a story recently where one of the characters WAS a triolet.

Get your mind out of the gutter. It wouldn't hurt you to act like a decent member of society for one day, would it? yes, I said member.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:27, Reply)

Now that really would be a challenge
Though, to be honest, if you hadn't pointed out that you'd said 'member,' I wouldn't be giggling about it right now.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:31, Reply)