It's all words on a screen, Kitty
It's not real life. Bert Monkeysex isn't the real me you daft tart.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:07, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

yeah but you're talking about your accounts like they're people
it's creepy. You're still making the words on a screen so as much as you say "it's only the internet" it's still coming out of your head.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:08, Reply)

Of course they're not people, they're projections
It may be coming out of my head, but once I'd chosen a certain path with this account, there wasn't really any going back
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:11, Reply)

I still don't agree really
making up a fake persona on a forum is lame to begin with, but then to cast it in iron and refuse to change because 'that's not what Bert would do' is really, really lame. If you want imaginery friends then fine, but to believe in them to this extent is a bit deluded.

I think I'm pretty similar on here to how I am in real life. I understand people who troll and stuff but to make up a whole life behind your trolling account is kind of sad.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:15, Reply)

I'm slightly nicer in real life
but a lot more gropey
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:17, Reply)

only slightly ;-)
you do have the little voice going for you though
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:19, Reply)

'ello Vipros
That she does. Plus she has an awesome car.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:20, Reply)

'noon
I'm not sure I'd go as far as awesome. Better than mine, but mine is merely functional.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:21, Reply)

Have you not played with her cupholder?
Magical.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:22, Reply)

I haven't been in the car
but have enough experience with Audis to know what you mean. (My car has an Audi interior for instance)

They are quite cool, but it is a small, albeit sporty hatchback when all is said and done.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:24, Reply)

I drive a Ka
Base model at that. I don't even have a cupholder.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:25, Reply)

Kas are for people who can't drive
as evidenced by the number of dented ones that reside on my street.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:27, Reply)

Mine's in pristine condition
Because I don't treat it like a bumper car.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:30, Reply)

my car is in shit condition
partly scraped when we got it, but we havne't exactly treated it with respect. Mechanically it's tip-top, but it's covered in scrapes and little dents.

It's amazing how much even a wetsuit can scratch a car. Not to mention having carried an awful lot of rubble in it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:32, Reply)

It's pretty roomy
Enough room in the boot for Lab and a suitcase
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:25, Reply)

whole or in pieces?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:27, Reply)

Depends how mean I am

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:30, Reply)

that's fair

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:32, Reply)

Vip, she mauled me!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:24, Reply)

don't blame her

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:24, Reply)

Yeah, if you dress like that, you deserve it
Bring it upon yourself.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:27, Reply)

I've seen her recent facebook pictures
bringing it upon herself the brazen hussy
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:28, Reply)

Yeah, it was that black frock in the last pic
How could she resist.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:30, Reply)

And your boob-highlighting necklaces
And your 'Oh aren't you a naughty one' expression.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:32, Reply)

See Roots
no one to blame but yourself
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:37, Reply)

Opportunist!!!!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:38, Reply)

Blame my rogue eyebrow!
And that was my "I'm trying to smile but I'm gozzy with drunkenness" face.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:37, Reply)

Tell it to the jury
To me it says "Oh, in just a few moments I'm going to have you inside of me". See, you still remain classy even when gaggin' for it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:40, Reply)

Even if I tell you the glass is full of iced jizz?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:43, Reply)

Well that just makes you all the more classy

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:46, Reply)

Wow
I can't fail here!
*extends pinky and sips*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:50, Reply)

Ah, you've misunderstood me
This account started off just as me, a cheeky, sometimes flirty and occasionally funny little twat, but then I fell out with some people.
Big arguments erupted over pretty silly little things and I chose to walk away, came back a while later and found that those people still held grudges, so no matter what I said or did it always ended up the same.
In the end I gave up and just went with it, I actually started to enjoy the insults and upset that my mere presence seemed to cause in abundance.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:19, Reply)

Your self reflective side is your most boring.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:31, Reply)

at least you only have one boring side.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:33, Reply)

meanie
you beat me to it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:36, Reply)

ok that's slightly less psychotic then
I was thinking you had like 4 different accounts all with different personalities and every time you were logged into one you would dress as that guy, drink his drink and put the pictures of his fake family up next to your PC.

I don't know what the original arguments were about so I've only judged you based on your comeback, which has been unpleasant for the most part.

If you come back as someone else people will probably figure it out though won't they?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:32, Reply)

I've used my other account for 7-8 months
and rarely interacted with any of you lot with it. So no, probably not.

Although I have given away enough information on it that anyone who knew me could figure it out.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:39, Reply)

who the fuck would want to? boring cunt.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:48, Reply)

Hahahahaha!
I'm not a cock really, honest I'm not, it's other people that have forced me into this role, really I'm actually a nice guy, honest I am.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:39, Reply)

fuck off, virgin
EDIT I never said other people forced this, I choose a path, tried to go back and couldn't
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:39, Reply)

BYE!

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:42, Reply)

The real Bert
is properly rubbish. He's all lanky and everything
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:14, Reply)

Lanky upper body, sure
but thighs like an olympian, mostly.

You loved me when we met, don't try to deny it.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:27, Reply)

Like an upside down carrot?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:33, Reply)

I bet you do

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:37, Reply)