I'd like a teleporter

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:24, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This, my friends a physics post doc at cambridge
I always tell him to hurry up and fucking invent one.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:25, Reply)

It's not going to happen though
And even if it were possible, it would be banned because of the disastrous possibilities.
*sadface*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:29, Reply)

It'll happen,
it's mathmatically and physically possible, and that means it can and will be done.
Just not in our lifetime.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:31, Reply)

I'm banning you from this thread
fuck off
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:31, Reply)

I read that as:
LET ME STAY IN MY BUBBLE OF PATHETIC IGNORANCE I DONT LIKE FINKING
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:39, Reply)

I read everything you say as
RAPERAPERAPERAPE MUST HAVE SEX RAPERAPERAPE
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:41, Reply)

I don't think it will
I can't explain why. It's just a feeling I have.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:32, Reply)

We could weed out the stupid though
By telling them all to teleport to the same place, and telefrag each other.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

bit of a shame
but I can't see them being used for good with the way things are these days
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Eggzackly

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

it's one of those things that won't work out well
unless there is a fairly high level of global harmony.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:36, Reply)

I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony
I proper would as well
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:37, Reply)

They'd be used
to beam in asylum seekers from Bongo-bongo-istan, I'll be bound.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:49, Reply)

But, get this right.
A transporter, at least following star-trek's logic, creates a copy and deletes the origional.

Surely if you can do that, you could make loads of copies of anything, like money or hot girls or sushi.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:05, Reply)

like in the Prestige

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:09, Reply)

Exactly
Huge moral/philosophical questions abound!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:10, Reply)

But only I would be allowed to control it
Nobody else in the world.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:10, Reply)

It'd ruin the game of rugby
But I'm ok with that.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:28, Reply)

it would ruin lots of games

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:29, Reply)

And Chompy would use spreadsheets
To work out the precise co-ordinates and timing of when to teleport to be inside a woman, which is totally not rape, he'll have you know.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:33, Reply)

He would get right in like Flynn before laws were changed to accommodate developments in teleportation

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

"Dear Diary"
"Today was good, I tele-violated over six hundred women, all before lunch! One minor miscalculation at the zoo caused me some alarm, but it wasn't all that unwelcome now I come to think about it. Maybe I'll go back there tomorrow."
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:39, Reply)

Was it a white rhino?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:41, Reply)

Ha!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:44, Reply)

Thus proving my point no one does mental arithmetic anymore

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

I can't do mental arithmetic
I am disabled
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

Chompy would be too scared of accidentally 'porting into Bert

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:37, Reply)

The game of Rugby is fundamentally crap and boring
a teleporter would make it vastly more interesting
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:30, Reply)

rugby is aids

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

I like this

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:39, Reply)

I think strategically placed trampolines
would be a low-tech alternative.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:43, Reply)