I don't want to talk of holidays any more as I'm not going anywhere even remotely exciting till September
And no, it's not AA's wake.

Lets talk about the effect of technology in early development and whether it has a negative impact on mental skills, specifially numerical calculation.

Alt Q. What tech of the future do you want now? Apart from a rocket pack obviously
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 9:54, 255 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I want to be able to hear music in my head without having to use headphones
and without being mental
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 9:57, Reply)

Ooo this'd be good

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:00, Reply)

That would be pretty cool
but would probably involve jamming something in to your brain the space where your brain should be, but after seeing your dress "sense" I am fairly convinced there is nothing there
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:00, Reply)

in the future it won't be a problem to have something jammed into ones brain

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:18, Reply)

It'll be as easy as having
an eyephone. You could patent your new earpod.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:21, Reply)

haha eyephone
Ignore your friends! Stalk your exes!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:22, Reply)

They're so funny
I have the last chapter to watch, and another one that is coming tonight.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:31, Reply)

I've been spoiled by downloading entire series at a time
having to wait week after week is excruciating!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Me too!!
I hate that. I usually wait until the series is finished and then watch it at my pace, but now, now!!! I'm desperate!!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:36, Reply)

A hover car.
Or Google plumbed directly into my brain for all those times I forget the name of the author\song\band etc at an inopportune moment.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Jul 2010, 9:59, Reply)

I want a SHARK KNIFE

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Aim high Noelly, AIM HIGH...

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:15, Reply)

For the face!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:28, Reply)

femoral artery would be easier
especially with one of those.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:03, Reply)

I want full-sensory experiences
Like in the under-rated film Strange Days
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Specifically a full-sensory experience of Juliette Lewis?
I second this.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:21, Reply)

Shame she's a scientologist
*sighs and shakes head*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:23, Reply)

srsly?
aww that's a shame, she seemed so cool.

And for someone that fugly to bag Johnny Depp she must be awesome.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:33, Reply)

Fugly?
I've had to invent the term mong-hot just for her. As in, she looks like an inbred hillbilly, but you still would.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:38, Reply)

She'd totally do anal as well
She's got that filthy look in her somewhat-vacant eyes.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:43, Reply)

haha great terminology

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:44, Reply)

absolute bollocks
next question.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:02, Reply)

Bender

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:03, Reply)

I thought you'd be interested in the advancement of Rapeology
Maybe a ball gag with a tv in it?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:04, Reply)

I was answering your main question not your alt.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:06, Reply)

I'm pretty convinced kids are getting dumber
I blame technology
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:08, Reply)

I blame Mel Gibson

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:09, Reply)

I blame the Jews.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:16, Reply)

I blame Jaws
the shark and the Bond villain
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Well what you "reckon" is totally against every possible measure of intelligence and reams of evidence.
but it's still a valid thought
WELL DONE
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Thanks
I'm hoping one day to be clever enough to sell paperclips
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:12, Reply)

maybe you'll even get a 2:2 degree.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:14, Reply)

and maybe become a Secretary

(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:15, Reply)

..?
I'm not a secretary. But if I was I would definitely be the kind with a capital letter.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:19, Reply)

I'm not a paperclip salesman.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:20, Reply)

not with that attitude

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:21, Reply)

hahaha

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:22, Reply)

The nations children will realise their intelligence has nothing to do with mine,
you don't seem to get that.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:16, Reply)

You want absolute bollocks?
Your current pair not realised fully? Are they more ethereal, non-corporeal bollocks, or are we talking Platonic forms, and they're a pale imitation of the perfect, idea of bollocks?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:07, Reply)

since when did everyone ignore the first question then answer the alt?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:10, Reply)

If I can be pedantic, there wasn't a first question, it was an invitation to debate
Plus I wanted to twist your words to suit a very obscure and minor jibe.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:15, Reply)

I want to be able to drink lots of nice red wine without getting a hangover
Or something that can remove a hangover 100% instantly
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:06, Reply)

Definately this
I think that whoever invents an actual 100% hangover cure in a pill sort of thing deserves some kind of award.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:09, Reply)

Nobel Prize

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:13, Reply)

I would quite like a pill that instantly removes the alcohol from your body
so you can go out and get pissed, then take the pill and drive home and go to sleep without microwaving two Chicago Town pizzas and sandwiching them together with bacon in the middle and then wake up the next morning feeling refreshed.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:16, Reply)

Aww
Now I have to make the pizza-bacon sandwich.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:19, Reply)

I would if I could
I'm so hungry.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:22, Reply)

I'll have to wait until I can get to Tesco
No mo' bacon at home :(
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:24, Reply)

I'll have to wait
until I lose 13kg. It's not happening any time soon, I think.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:26, Reply)

a home without bacon is not a proper home

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:26, Reply)

I finished it up last night

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Now I want an embroidered pillow
that says Home Sweet Bacon on it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:34, Reply)

I would buy one of these if I had any money
However I have just spent £150 I don't have on an original Modern Toss sketch so won't be buying anything for a while.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Will it smell of bacon too?

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:56, Reply)

IMPORTANT QUESTION
Marco Pierre White claims the best (literally the best) way to cook bacon is in the microwave. Now he's cooked a few things in his time and normally I would trust him implicity but SURELY this is bollocks?

Has anyone tried it?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:30, Reply)

Don't do it,
smells so strongly of urine you wont want to eat it.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:31, Reply)

If you've got a bacon stand
and like it crispy, he's right!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:32, Reply)

if you don't have a bacon stand it is fucking foul
goes really limp and looks terribly unappetising

Marco Pierre White is a wanker.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:34, Reply)

My parents gave me a dead posh microwave
that had all these different tray things with it and a book on how to make stuff and it claimed that you could make entire roast dinners in there and cakes and stuff, but I never dared try it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

I got a similar one off my parents
when they decided they wanted a smaller one.

It is the business for defrosting sausages, but that's about the only feature I've used other than basic microwaving
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:37, Reply)

You talk like grandparents
who've just received a cool mobile phone and use it only for calls.

Go on! Try!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:57, Reply)

why, when I have a good oven
and I know how to use it.

I wouldn't want to waste a load of food (and money) trying out something that might not work.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:04, Reply)

I thought that about steaming and microwaved poached eggs
And I regret I didn't start doing it earlier.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:19, Reply)

microwaved poached eggs are fucking awful!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Frying bacon is the only way

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:33, Reply)

it's actually really quite good if you cook it in the oven
only streaky though
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

I quite like it grilled
if I'm hungover, the greasiness makes me feel a bit queasy
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:36, Reply)

Grilling all the way
I like it proper crispy.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:42, Reply)

if it doesn't shatter when you poke it with a fork
then it's not cooked
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Aw man I hate glass bacon

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Likewise.
I cook my bacon for a short time, until the fat's melted a bit, but that's all. Making it crispy is just a waste.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:47, Reply)

hear hear
You can really taste the flavour and the juiciness if you don't burn it
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Burnt food, in general
Is awful. Some people seem to like it, but not me.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:50, Reply)

Who wants rock hard toast?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:01, Reply)

I don't burn it
but having it good and crispy unleashes the full bacon flavour
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:03, Reply)

^^This
Lightly done toast, with grilled cheese on one of the slices, crispy bacon, fresh lettuce, chili sauce. NOM.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:06, Reply)

I don't contaminate bacon with salads or sauces!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Rreally? That's mental
I'll check with Wiggy, he proper worships Marco Pierre White, even though I think he's a bit of a douchebag.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:34, Reply)

He is an utter spastic (not Wiggy)
but a 3 x Michelin-starred one...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:38, Reply)

and he trained Gordon Ramsay
in the Ways of the Prick
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:57, Reply)

Tried it. Would not try again.
Also tried poaching eggs in the microwave. That took some cleaning up.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:36, Reply)

eggs should not be put in the microwave

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Unless you have drawn the faces of your enemies on
and you cackle manically as they explode one by one
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:43, Reply)

I had overlooked that aspect
I tend to prefer caving their heads in manually with a spoon
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:44, Reply)

I have learned this. The difficult way.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:49, Reply)

I like your post-pub receipe
Last night was 4 pints of Aspalls followed by a bottle of Greneche. I then decided to cook a plate full of lamb chops. Urrghhh.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:21, Reply)

Um I don't know
I reckon something like a shower or something that cleans you realy fucking fast, cos hygene is important and all but it does take up time. Maybe a device that cleans you while you sleep so you don't have to bother showering when you wake up? With lasers obviously.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:08, Reply)

I would like something like this that would clean the house
whilst I was asleep.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Ninja maid?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:59, Reply)

this would be amazing.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:04, Reply)

A power washer?

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:48, Reply)

or like a really little car wash that goes over and around the bed while you sleep
would probably wake you up though. And maim you.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:59, Reply)

A funky sort of food that
tasted and was shaped exactly like food that is bad for you, but in reality is a balanced diet.

So I could stuff my fat face with all the fried chicken and cookie dough I wanted without getting fat.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:08, Reply)

^this!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:08, Reply)

Wouldn't that be the best thing ever
*dreamy eyes*
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:12, Reply)

oh whats that your eating for breakfast?
yeah it's a large meat feast with extra cheese what of it *secretly knows it has all the nutrients and goodness of a smoothie* THIS NEEDS TO BE REALITY.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:14, Reply)

I'd love that
so, so, so much!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:23, Reply)

morning Aber

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Good morning, dear
How is your week going? Ready for Friday?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Cannot wait for this weekend as I am going shopping for goodies
they are taking my tooth out on Tuesday (confirmed) so I am going shopping for box sets and computer games. And ice cream, jelly, smoothies etc. I'm ignoring the inevitable pain bit now and focusing on goodies. What are you up to?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:34, Reply)

pain is character building
man up.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:37, Reply)

I don't mind pain if its over quickly.
I don't like pain that lasts for ages. Plus they are breaking my jaw to get this tooth out that can't be fun.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:46, Reply)

get them to reshape it to give you Bondi Vet Jaw

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:04, Reply)

^googling this
EDIT - that is a jaw Arnie would be proud of!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:17, Reply)

Pain is weakness leaving the body

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:01, Reply)

Is it wrong that I find that a bit sexy?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:02, Reply)

Nah
I do too
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:03, Reply)

You're a bad one you are
*points two fingers at his eyes, then points at you*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:04, Reply)

Guilty, yer onner

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:07, Reply)

See me in my chambers
Immediately.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Orr, bleedin ell!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:11, Reply)

I like that

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:04, Reply)

I think it was originally a US Marine recruitment slogan, and maybe before that some philosopher or other
But I've stolen it.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:07, Reply)

And now, if you don't mind, I will be stealing it too
and taking it on as a mantra.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:09, Reply)

Take it away ;)

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:11, Reply)

Good luck with it
I hope your mouth doesn't end up hunging.

I'm going to a wedding fair tom and wedding dress shopping on Sat. Yey!! (note the sarcasm there. I hate shopping)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:58, Reply)

cheers mate you too

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:04, Reply)

I want a device that can recognize and 'neutralize' Daily Mail readers

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:08, Reply)

I've got something like that
It's called my brain. If someone's reading a Daily Mail I got and strangle them :D
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:12, Reply)

I read two articles in it yesterday
And it angered me so much I actually realised how angry a Daily Mail reader must be. It scared me. It is obviously the work of Satan and not to be trusted.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:13, Reply)

Like this?
www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1296282/I-dosing-How-teenagers-getting-digitally-high-music-download-internet.html
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:16, Reply)

I can't work out if thats a joke or not. Being in the MAIL probably not.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:23, Reply)

I want to try it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:27, Reply)

I'm pretty certain the same effects can be achieved just listening to Celine Dion

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:28, Reply)

I tried Celine Dion once
I still get flashbacks, every night in my dreams, I see you I feel you. I advise anyone thinking of trying any to think twice.
( Peej, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:02, Reply)

She is a dirty ugly cow
who got groomed by her husband when she was 13, and she's got a big bony fanny bone that sticks right out.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:04, Reply)

I read the Daily Mail
bring it on.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:17, Reply)

*neuters Kitty*
Oh, misread it, nevermind.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:20, Reply)

stunned, speechless...................
I thought you were alright. Unless you read it in an ironic way to poke fun at it......
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:22, Reply)

How can you read something in an ironic way?
This is more a dig at people who say "I'm only doing this to be ironic", because they tend to be scenester/indie wankers.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:25, Reply)

dunno really. I'm going to have to get used to you lot picking up on dumb things I say
I meant read it for a laugh as it's so shite.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:27, Reply)

You're not the only one who says it
And therefore not the only one I jump on and demand an explanation.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:29, Reply)

I used to read the Times until you had to pay for it online so just flick between the Independent and Guardian
But the Mail really grinds my gears. It's borderline propoganda.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:32, Reply)

You, and your demanding explanations
Maybe that's what makes you so sexy, all that agressivity (I'm not sure that that word exists)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:33, Reply)

Aggressiveness :)
And you're going to make me blush, young lady!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:40, Reply)

you're an angry mosher

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:45, Reply)

I am many things, Kitty

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:48, Reply)

I promise!
I put 2 gs at the beginning and thought "No, that doesn't look right" and took one off. Grrr
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:59, Reply)

De nada :)

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:00, Reply)

:-P

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:04, Reply)

It can be fun
Reading all the letters from the normal readers.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:26, Reply)

I read it at work because it has the most stories
I can't be doing with categorising people as Daily Mail readers. I have my own mind so I don't instantly change my opinions and morality based on what I read in a tabloid. The propaganda is obvious, but every newspaper has propaganda, it's just people don't call it propaganda if it's already what they think.

The comments are amusing and it still surprises me just how close minded some people can be.

But that said, close-mindedness is judging someone for not doing exactly as you do, which is what people who judge people by the newspaper they read are doing.

I also read the BBC page, Sky and the Guardian, but that's 'allowed' isn't it? Well, maybe not Sky. Rupert Murdoch, foil hats, corporate bastards rah rah rah.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:45, Reply)

I know what you mean
And I don't like categorising people either as I get on my soapbox when it's done to me. I think the parameters in OT can make it hard to articulate exactly what you think so you end up generalising a lot. I'm pretty sure that not all Daily Mail readers are nut jobs, however a lot of them are borderline.

Murdoch can do one though as he is taking Sky Sports News off freeview.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:55, Reply)

Generalising and stereotyping is easy
And if it didn't 'work' most of the time, people wouldn't do it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:00, Reply)

sorry I can't hear what you're saying
over the sound of backpedalling
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Can I get a reee-wind!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:07, Reply)

no backpedalling
accomodating anothers point of view and applying it to my own. Daily Mail mental.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:11, Reply)

I like the BBC iPlayer
I watched the new series of Sherlock yesterday, and it was soo cool! I need a better internet connection and HD TV.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:20, Reply)

I watched that.
I thought it was excellent - this happens less frequently than the appearance of Halley's Comet, and was made all the more remarkable by my being an enormous fan of the original stories.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:47, Reply)

Exactly like me
I didn't know it was based on nowadays, rather that proper Sherlock time. I was a bit shocked at the beginning, but they managed to mix both eras so well I really enjoyed it! So much!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:00, Reply)

I just wish whatever the technology is, it doesn't devolve the English language any further then text speak has..
I'm getting to the point where I'm deleting people from FB as soon as they descend into tLkin lyk dis cos u no its lyk so kewl yeh?

And I want a TARDIS.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:20, Reply)

*ignores*

(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:22, Reply)

^Tardis.... spot on!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:23, Reply)

I asked for it first
And I want The Doctor for myself too.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:24, Reply)

You can have the Doctor if I can have the TARDIS.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Pfff
The Doctor without the TARDIS is just a lonely heart. Noway I'm doing that to him.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:05, Reply)

Holidays: Donno, wanna go new york, donno if I'll make it, not in this day and age.
I wanna go there and do a course on theropy dogs and then bring that sort of thing over to the UK in a more widespread mannor.

I completely disagree that technology is detromental to early development. You got kids these days who, granted, don't know their 12 times table, but they can type at speed that would shame most secutairies 20 years ago. Some can code programs and apps and widgets that would take an entire team to recreate 10 years ago. It is now presumed that anyone my age knows the basics when it comes to Word and most (but not all) of MS Office.

However, there are major downfalls, such as handwriting will go out the window eventually, it'll take a long time, but it'll happen, at least, as a primary form of writing. Spelling is allowed to become lazy, pressing one button where three should be pressed. For some reason, thank's mostly to mobile phones without qerty and the limit in chars, it's become acceptable, but even that is going down, people are realising that at least attempting spelling is coming back, big time.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:21, Reply)

If you can make it there, you'll make it anywhere.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Wooo-ohhh, I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien, I'm an english man in new york.
Oh man, that'll be my theme.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:36, Reply)

I'm not sure.
I have to say that I think toys that do everything for you (and are vulgar, beeping plastic monstrosities like those my ex's pikey Kentish family buy my daughter, for example) are probably not as good for imagination development as nice, middle class wooden ones, but as for numerical calculation skills, I doubt it.

Alt: I'd like a special laser that stopped idiots posting shit on the internet.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:23, Reply)

I was thinking more of the widespread introduction of
calculators and spreadsheets mean children are more likely to work things out using one of those rather than mental arithmetic.

Would you use the laser on me?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:31, Reply)

Like any mental skill
if you don't use it, you may well lose it. The question is whether that actually matters that much. I am old enough to have been at school just at the start of calculators being allowed in maths exams and I have to say I thought 'why the fuck not'? If I ever want to divide 18965423 by 845.668 I will use a fucking calculator to do it. They're not hard to come by.

NO-ONE is safe from my laser. But there's a huge queue in front of you so don't sweat it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

What if you were in the Crystal Maze
and it was a metal challenge and there were no calculators?!

(With Richard of course not ETP he was wank)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:40, Reply)

A 'metal' challenge?
"Monty, to get the crystal you must crowdsurf on to the stage, grab that guitar and belt out some heavy riffs, and then smash it up before diving back off."
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:48, Reply)

I would simply use whatever metal there was available.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:48, Reply)

he'd use whatever you wanted ...

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

but the wealth of computer games out there that develop mental things
Like brain training and professor layton and stuff, surely they help in different ways.

The only thing that detrimentally affects kids, I think, is sitting them in front of the TV or computer and not interacting with them. My parents used to force me to use the skills I'd learnt at school whenever we did anything, I remember they used to get me and my sister to add up the bill if we went for lunch, or to name the different bird species at the park, etc. So it's probably not the technology that is hindering the children, it's their environment.

In short, I blame the parents.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Nothing thanks
Recent technological advancements here in Norwich have made fire and the wheel readily available for those of us with opposable thumbs. That'll keep us going for the next couple of centuries
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:23, Reply)

have you got crunchy nut cornflakes yet? trust me you should look out for those when they come out.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:24, Reply)

*voms*
no ta
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Simple minds
I was expecting more from you sir. Maybe some shoes that always make you dance nice and smoothly.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:25, Reply)

Alrighty then,
I'd like a teleporter that magically makes both of us appear in a hotel room which includes a massive double bed kitted out with some nice non-chafing restraints and a complimentary bottle of Dom Perignon '73 on ice, the room itself being conveniently located in a pocket in the fabric of the space-time continuum so that once we've had LOADS OF MASSIVE SEX we reappear wherever we were prior to being teleported, about half a second later so no-one even knows we were gone.

Better?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Will we remember the experience
Or will it be like a paradoxical parallel posible universe that really never happened?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:34, Reply)

It's my fucking teleporter
I'll remember things perfectly, and you'll remember things being rather better than they actually turned out
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

that's ok, then
But I want to be able to lie, because I can't, I'm rubbish at it, and I'll feel guilty looking at Mark and everything will be wrong. So you need a device for that too.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:11, Reply)

if you have that much of a window I'm sure you can fit in MASSIVE DRUGS too.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

I want Aberracion to be up for it
Massive drugs are a given

Just not the fun kind
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:38, Reply)

I don't do drugs
Only a bit of alcohol, but not much. I'm a good girl... I can dress up for you, though, if you fancy.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:11, Reply)

are you still using bartering there or has money been introduced now?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Depends what you mean by money
If you mean livestock then yeah, sure
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:33, Reply)

I'd like a teleporter

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:24, Reply)

This, my friends a physics post doc at cambridge
I always tell him to hurry up and fucking invent one.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:25, Reply)

It's not going to happen though
And even if it were possible, it would be banned because of the disastrous possibilities.
*sadface*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:29, Reply)

It'll happen,
it's mathmatically and physically possible, and that means it can and will be done.
Just not in our lifetime.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:31, Reply)

I'm banning you from this thread
fuck off
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:31, Reply)

I read that as:
LET ME STAY IN MY BUBBLE OF PATHETIC IGNORANCE I DONT LIKE FINKING
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:39, Reply)

I read everything you say as
RAPERAPERAPERAPE MUST HAVE SEX RAPERAPERAPE
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:41, Reply)

I don't think it will
I can't explain why. It's just a feeling I have.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:32, Reply)

We could weed out the stupid though
By telling them all to teleport to the same place, and telefrag each other.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

bit of a shame
but I can't see them being used for good with the way things are these days
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Eggzackly

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

it's one of those things that won't work out well
unless there is a fairly high level of global harmony.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:36, Reply)

I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony
I proper would as well
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:37, Reply)

They'd be used
to beam in asylum seekers from Bongo-bongo-istan, I'll be bound.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:49, Reply)

But, get this right.
A transporter, at least following star-trek's logic, creates a copy and deletes the origional.

Surely if you can do that, you could make loads of copies of anything, like money or hot girls or sushi.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:05, Reply)

like in the Prestige

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:09, Reply)

Exactly
Huge moral/philosophical questions abound!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:10, Reply)

But only I would be allowed to control it
Nobody else in the world.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:10, Reply)

It'd ruin the game of rugby
But I'm ok with that.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:28, Reply)

it would ruin lots of games

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:29, Reply)

And Chompy would use spreadsheets
To work out the precise co-ordinates and timing of when to teleport to be inside a woman, which is totally not rape, he'll have you know.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:33, Reply)

He would get right in like Flynn before laws were changed to accommodate developments in teleportation

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

"Dear Diary"
"Today was good, I tele-violated over six hundred women, all before lunch! One minor miscalculation at the zoo caused me some alarm, but it wasn't all that unwelcome now I come to think about it. Maybe I'll go back there tomorrow."
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:39, Reply)

Was it a white rhino?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:41, Reply)

Ha!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:44, Reply)

Thus proving my point no one does mental arithmetic anymore

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

I can't do mental arithmetic
I am disabled
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

Chompy would be too scared of accidentally 'porting into Bert

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:37, Reply)

The game of Rugby is fundamentally crap and boring
a teleporter would make it vastly more interesting
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:30, Reply)

rugby is aids

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

I like this

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:39, Reply)

I think strategically placed trampolines
would be a low-tech alternative.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:43, Reply)

I'm amazed that they haven't invented a recreational drug that has no bad side effects
I want an alchohol substitute that doesnt give me a hangover or ruin my liver.

If they could invent cannabis that doesnt fuck with my short-term memory I would probably take it up again.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Drugs are always going to have side effects,
they work by changing what's going on in your body.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Dammit
Edit - although I did say "Bad" side effects. I don't mind the good ones, like temporarily forgetting about the rut i'm in.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:34, Reply)

You want those changes to be immediate though
and immediately temporary. There must be a way!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:40, Reply)

A classic
and not my own idea. Monty would LOVE it.

bash.org/?4281
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:34, Reply)

*buys shares*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:51, Reply)

You completely ruined my joke by linking to where I stole it from you cunt.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:52, Reply)

I'm feeling old
so therefore some kind of reliable anti-ageing plus age extension technology would be just swell.

Apart from that, travelling is a pain in the arse on a regular basis. I want faster public transport and the complete rejection of energy wasteful personal transport.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:39, Reply)

i have precisely 12 hours
To work out a plan to avoid having to get on the stupid plane home from my holiday. Any ideas, technical or otherwise, gratefully received.

Edit: calorie free white chocolate toblerones please, can someone invent those? Again, in the next 12 hours before I get to dutyfree? Ta.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Fake a stroke
Are you insured?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:43, Reply)

yeah
But can I convince them to treat me on the beach? Maybe vigilante could proceed as suggested, or make the volcano erupt again?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:48, Reply)

So long as the volcano eruption lasts no longer than a fortnight
I'm going on holiday in three weeks
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:50, Reply)

ooh where are you off to?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:56, Reply)

We're only going for a weekend in Copenhagen/Malmo
But I like my little breaks and I haven't left the UK for two years.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:58, Reply)

You want a stroke on the beach?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:52, Reply)

who wouldn't??

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:55, Reply)

Sandy crack though?
somebody told me the surname of Spongebob's bird was Crack, and it really isn't, but I've now told lots of people - including some children - that it is.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:58, Reply)

it's a sacrifice i am willing to make!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:20, Reply)

I shall fly a 747 into a United States national treasure
the Whitehouse perhaps. That'll ground flights for a while..
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Hello mr fbi man reading this
loving your work
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:51, Reply)

people who are too lazy and ignorant
To reply to my wonderfully witty gazzes do not get to comment, next?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:54, Reply)

I went to the pub instead
and I'm going for a curry tonight. I'll reply soon dammit woman.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:56, Reply)

too late
Don't bother, besides I won't be able to read it once your beery and curry fattened fingers have just mashed the keys
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Well I've got to tell someone what I had for lunch

(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:00, Reply)

gaz it to last week
When I might have cared. Well, enough to bother replying anyway.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:04, Reply)

she says in a reply.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:05, Reply)

Oh gawd
stuck in the middle of live interweb drama
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:56, Reply)

It's like a text version of Jeremy Kyle.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:58, Reply)

I ain't had a gaz in yonks, just sayin'.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:04, Reply)

i am always too shy to make the first move dude

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:05, Reply)

Oh.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:10, Reply)

sorted

(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Noice whan.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:08, Reply)

thanks gonz
My inbox feels validated now!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:18, Reply)

Scout for a job over there
and emigrate.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:56, Reply)

they do have english law
You could come too!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Surely a local can make you tea?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:01, Reply)

kitty is so much better
At being as rude as you deserve, I shall leave this one up to her.

And I don't drink tea, hot drinks are disgusting.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Technology hasn't impacted on the 2 Rs for me,
also I want a button that allows you to remotely stab other internet users in the face.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:51, Reply)

I want a ray gun with 2 settings
Setting 1 would be absolute disintegration, obviously.
Setting 2 would induce a massive feeling of regret for their last action in the receiver of the blast.

The effect would last for about an hour, and be so powerful that failure to respond to the regret will leave them a wimpering wreck on the floor. It could be used for many things, but primary use would be to correct ladies who refused to sleep with me.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:06, Reply)

So you want a gun to make people sleep with you...

(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:34, Reply)

They have a choice.
They could take the feeling really bad option.

Better than a .45 in the temple.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:36, Reply)

Some sort of all-purpose housework robot
that would vacuum and dust and do the washing up and put things away.

If it looks like the fit Cylon bird from BSG, that would be good. In a saucy French maid outfit.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:36, Reply)