He is no doubt an ugly and/or fat mess
Doesn't matter if you're the acest of ace people on the planet, if you are either of the above you stand no chance with anyone. Truefax.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:17, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Don't forget
He also has sex with his dog
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:22, Reply)

He came onto me.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:34, Reply)

So you returned the favour.
Congratulations, you genius, on the best login since the Modgazzer General RIP (legend).

Loud, office guffaw from me.


EDIT: CHANGE IT BACK!
EDIT 2: cheers Jeff - sorry I've said some nasty stuff about you, you're OK really.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:35, Reply)

Sorry.
I shall remain JeffTheDogFucker just for you. Forever.

I like dogs. And women, but women are difficult to train and they don't like Star Trek.

Do you like dogs?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:38, Reply)

I cannot stop laughing.
Thank God all my staff have gone to lunch.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:40, Reply)

I can't believe you've got staff.
I have a friend, we want to open a computer shop. I think it'll be dead good and we'll make enough money to be able to order pizza every other night of the week.

I hope we have staff. I can employ a woman. A woman who likes dogs.

Do you like dogs?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:43, Reply)

No, you smeared peanut butter over your knob
lay down in the dogs bed and let nature take its course.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:35, Reply)

i wish someone would've told me this earlier...all this time i'd been wondering...

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:25, Reply)

I really do think that there are people in the world who get laid easily and those who don't regardless of their personality or looks.
It must be some sort of gene or pheramone or something.
( girlinthehole, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:27, Reply)

hmmmmmmmm........I'm not too sure
I think it may have something to do with the people you are around and the places you are when you pull
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:28, Reply)

My housemate
isn't ugly, but you wouldn't look twice at him either. He gets a ridiculous amount of birds, so much so that he's earned the nickname 'Fanny Mugger'.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:29, Reply)

I know. I've known similar guys and girls who aren't much in the looks or personality department but are always fending off attention.
Mark my words. In a few years some chemist or genetesist will confirm my theory.
( girlinthehole, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:32, Reply)

Bollocks.
If the problem isn't looks, it's personality - even if they're 'reeeeally nice' (or because of that), if they're so shy they never get anywhere that's a personality trait and therefore it's their personality that's the problem.

EDIT similarly if they don't look great and still have success, that's their personality in action.

You know, I think you may have something with this Agony Aunt idea.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:33, Reply)

do it

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:35, Reply)

Friday afternoon I will open an agony page Q.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:44, Reply)

I HAVE A FAULTY GENE!
Damn you!!
( girlinthehole, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:37, Reply)

Eh?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:42, Reply)

Hahaha!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:44, Reply)

I have this problem
where no-one seems to like me. I don't get it. I shower and brush my teeth twice a day and everything. What am I doing wrong?
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:37, Reply)

There is no hope for us.
Get a cat.
( girlinthehole, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:39, Reply)

I've got a cat
The murderous little bitch hates me. I woke up this morning at 5 because she was trying to gnaw my ear off
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:40, Reply)

I didn't say it had to be a nice cat.

( girlinthehole, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:41, Reply)

Is there actualy such a thing as a nice cat?
I mean, I like cats and all, but they're all either bugshit crazy and/or faintly retarded or utterly violent.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:45, Reply)

Fuck your pets.
It's the future.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:40, Reply)

*wets pants*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:43, Reply)

You think that's funny?
I've been giggling at this all morning.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBA_lxUiwSg&feature=player_embedded
( girlinthehole, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:44, Reply)

That's rather sweet.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:46, Reply)

I must have watched it about 50 times already.

( girlinthehole, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:48, Reply)

Ahh but I'd have to get the fuckers de-flead and everything
Oh man that just lead to me thinking and wondering wether there's any actual STD's that can cross species :/ That's a bad thought it realy is.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:44, Reply)

Does 'dog flu' exist?
Should young Jeffrey here be concerned?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:46, Reply)

Cat aids exists
Does dog aids exist?
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:47, Reply)

*prays for Jeff's safety*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:49, Reply)

I've got my Bob Martin's branded Johnnys.
I'll be fine. Although I've got dog-crabs.

But I shower every day, so I get to drown a few of them. But it is a bit itchy.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:51, Reply)

Please stop, I'm crying.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:52, Reply)

I'm just picturing the look of shock on the dogs face
fading to disgust, self loathing and then gradualy stockholm syndrome acceptance as it slurps up the last few traces of pedigree chum
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:54, Reply)

Do you like dog?
I like dogs they are a mans best friend. AND GREATEST EVER LOVER.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:54, Reply)