I ain't excusing this, not in the slightest, but what I think happened, and I don't really know so I could totally be wrong here.
Is that a lot of people can't bring themselves to terms that they may have done bad, so lash out at someone else. She was probably like "Naw, it's cool, he'll be fine, my little babe will be perfectly alright no matter what. That [your name] is being silly 'cus he is a worrier, doesn't really matter", but then when the big day comes and the ex speaks to that docs and they come up with you being right, she lashes out onto you because she potentially harmed her kid by not listening to you. There might be an element of "Well, my family is fine on anesthetic, it's your family that isn't, so this is down to you" in there too. I think it's that she can't come to terms with the fact that you were right and she was wrong, on something so important.

This isn't an excuse or anything, but maybe if you understand this way of thinking, it could help you deal with her.

You've mentioned these concerns on here, it isn't a last minute thing that you 'just remembered'.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:59, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I think you are right.
She is completely incapable of taking responsibility for her own actions - she's fucked up royally here and should simply take it on the chin, but that goes completely again her nature. Everything is someone else's fault - usually mine.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:07, Reply)

I have an ex like that
always has to be the victim. When everyone found out he'd been cheating on me he tried to make out like it was hard on him having lost two women he 'cared about'.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:20, Reply)

Oh I know a few people like that
And when you pull them up on their wrongdoings it's all "Oh I'm so shit, I'm a failure, you don't deserve this". By then you're stuck, if you agree with them then they flip at you, and you're now the bad guy, but if you coo sympathetically that they're not shit, they've won.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:24, Reply)

I am saying exactly what Gonz said.
I'm sorry she has that temperament and I'm sure Len will be alright.
I hope the worrying doesn't last long.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:22, Reply)

I'm still not used to this parental worrying shit.
It's fucking horrible - made all the worse for being told that apparently I don't actually care at all.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:39, Reply)

It must be very difficult
But you need a filter. You know how she views the world, you know how she reacts to stuff. She tells you you're a shit dad under the most normal of circumstances, so she's bound to go off like a jack-hammer when she's worried about the baba. And who's she going to turn on? You. "Fucking smartarse who keeps denying me some scrap of evidence that he's a shit dad." She's fuming with herself, she's fuming with you for being right, and she's as shit scared as you, because (so I hear) you will never worry about anyone you love as much as you worry about your babies.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:48, Reply)

Bless you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:12, Reply)

I think this is what I was trying to say
only... better?
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:18, Reply)