Oh dear, that's rather awful.
My only airport-related embarrassment (save the MASSIVE SEARCH I get every time I travel anywhere) concerns a visit I paid to the United States. They nearly didn't let me leave England as I had 'a lady's passport, sir'. It wasn't. It was the photo of me as a long-haired hippie of 17 that confused the man.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 17:47, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

But surely you still had the long, flappy locks when they made this mistake?
Or were you still unbearded at 17?
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 17:52, Reply)

I couldn't grow a beard until I was 30.
I still can't grow sideburns.

The only reason I don't look as haggard as I deserve to these days, is because I was so fresh-faced to start with.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 18:01, Reply)

I can't grow a beard.
When I try it looks like I've pritt-sticked pubes to my face.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 18:10, Reply)

and yet I just had to
pluck out a hair with a pair of pliers
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 18:15, Reply)

I had no idea you were such a sadist.

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 18:17, Reply)

it's a hobby

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 18:17, Reply)

Why pliers, though?
Not very ladylike, surely? Unless it was putting up a great deal of resistance...?
(berk, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 18:24, Reply)

I'm more likely to find
pliers in my house than tweezers

plus, it sounded funnier
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 18:26, Reply)

I get searched every single time
electronic scan, body-search, and generally a bag search. And everytime my dad waltzs straight through, generally ushered down the fast-track.

How can I look more like a terrorist than my father?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 18:14, Reply)

It's your boobs
they're either full of explosives or people just want to cop a feel.
(berk, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 18:17, Reply)

or it could be a result
of my past terrorist suitcase :( which was all my own fault
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 18:17, Reply)

did it have a balaclava?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 18:19, Reply)

worse
I'm sure I've told the story before, but it bears retelling as a warning against mongs like me

I packed in a horrific hurry, just hand luggage. Chucked everything in. When I went through security, my bag beeped, and they removed an eight inch heavy duty set of scissors, a dinner knife, three bottles of hair shine/shampoo etc, and just looked at me in silent disbelief.

They told me they'd have to dust for drugs, so they dusted my bag/laptop etc, and the first outside zip they opened, a book entitled 'Socialist History' fell out
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 18:22, Reply)

nice work, there :)

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 18:23, Reply)

I turned into a female Hugh Grant
on the spot :(
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 18:25, Reply)

Your suitcase had a past life as a terrorist?
...what?
(berk, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 18:20, Reply)

Your suitcase
Wasn't shaped like a Little Boy, was it*?

*_{Not a paedo joke}
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 18:23, Reply)

I swear my father's been mistaken for an Arab terrorist
He looks a bit like a more Mediterranean version of Robert Winston - i.e., thick dark hair and moustache, but less curly and with a darker complexion. I do remember a family holiday back in 2001 or 2002 when the customs at Dover pulled us over to check our car - and I'd swear they never checked outbound family cars while the World Trade Centre was still standing.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 18:21, Reply)