Before I went round to my mate's last night I said "Are you fasting?"
He said "No, not today, because I wanted to enjoy the football."
On hearing this wonderful news, I grabbed a bottle of JD and his 11 months late birthday present of MOAR JD and set off down the hill.
"Want a brew?" he says. "No, let's lubricate." I says.
"Oh, I'm not fasting today, but it's still no booze for Ramadan." he says. "Fair enough." I say, and have a little JD on my own.

Then the fucker proceeds to get out of his mind on weed???
What a rubbish Muslim. He is not going to paradise.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 11:01, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Erm, I thought the Koran says
no booze EVER?
(berk, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 11:05, Reply)

That's catholic muslims.
protestant muslims are allowed to get shitfaced.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Oh yeah
But he drinks it all year round, and only observes rules when he's fasting for Ramadan.
So when it;s Ramadan he has no ciggies, no weed, no booze, no sex, no solo sex, and observes all the fasting rules as well.

I was just pissed off that he gives himself a day off from fasting and the smoking ban, but then still observes the booze ban.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 11:07, Reply)

So he's a practising muslim
for one month of the year, essentially?
(berk, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 11:09, Reply)

yes
I have told him that he gets no virgins at the end.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 11:10, Reply)

Surely he should get six

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 11:12, Reply)

I forget which comedian it was
it may have been Billy Connolly, who said that this idea of getting seven virgins in paradise is completely overrated - most men would prefer seven up-for-anything slappers.
(berk, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 11:18, Reply)

He's not practicing very hard, is he?
BOOM! BOOM!*


*additionalterroristlolz
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 11:14, Reply)

weed never counts
it's always ok to be high.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 11:06, Reply)

All the Pakistani lads round my way smoke weed
but don't drink - but the Qu'ran actually condemns intoxication of any kind I thought, rather than specifically alcohol.

I doesnae get it, mon.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 11:10, Reply)

Eggzackly
And no tattoos or body modifications
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 11:11, Reply)

Luckily grotesque car modifications are fine.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 11:12, Reply)

and voice modifications
innit. Hate that.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Did you know
It is very easy to convince older generations that indians invented txt spk
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 11:15, Reply)

did you know
4 year olds believe everything you tell them. Leads to some confused looking parents at the end of the day.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 11:16, Reply)

hahah

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 11:17, Reply)

Personally my ability to function on Marijuana is much higher
than when drunk, much easier to pass unnoticed being stoned than pissed.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Youshould convert him to
TNSSCoR
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 11:07, Reply)

He likes being a Muslim
A muslim who smokes cigarettes, smokes weed, has sex with his girlfriend, and drinks booze.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 11:09, Reply)

Fucking hell - I'm one of them!
(I don't have sex with his girlfriend though)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 11:11, Reply)

i tried to claim that I was a better muslim than him,
but where I trump him on the weed, he wins on the pork ban.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 11:13, Reply)

So many porking jokes
so little time...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 11:14, Reply)

You love a bit of pork

(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 11:14, Reply)

*insert obvious 'porking' joke here*
*then giggle about 'insert'*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 11:14, Reply)

TOO SLOW

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Some of us are working

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 11:16, Reply)

w p
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 11:17, Reply)

;)

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 11:17, Reply)

nice

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 11:17, Reply)

Good one

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Oh ok
I'm having an extended weekend.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 11:17, Reply)