Quick question:
Who's been absent from here today?
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/7948892/30-stone-women-cut-from-home.html
"They tried to get her to stand up but she fell over on the floor and wanted to go back to sleep."
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 15:19, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

"I rang the doctor, but he wouldn't come..."
I wonder what excuse he gave?
( thealternativefact, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 15:22, Reply)

'I'm having my dinner'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 15:23, Reply)

"she's 30 stone that's why she's having breathing difficulties"

(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 15:23, Reply)

^ NHS Direct in action RIGHT HERE.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 15:25, Reply)

"You've made me picture your 30 stone wife"
"I won't be able to come for at least a week."
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 15:25, Reply)

Ha!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 15:27, Reply)

I bet she's got mushrooms growing under her tits.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 15:27, Reply)

oh god oh god
have you seen that youtube video called "wanda's macaroni salad"? a woman who must weigh over 30 stone concocts a 7,000 calorie pasta dish (no way is it a salad) which includes an ENTIRE PINT of full-fat mayonnaise and an ENTIRE CUP of white sugar. i couldn't eat for ages [5 minutes] after watching that.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 15:29, Reply)

Ugh how foul.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 15:32, Reply)

it is literally the most disturbing thing
she is panting for breath with the sheer exertion of stirring pasta into mayonnaise. and who could eat sugary pasta anyway, whether they weighed 80lbs or 800lbs? urgh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 15:38, Reply)

Doesn't she use condensed milk as well,
with tuna,

condensed milk....
...

...
with tuna.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 15:39, Reply)

The mind boggles.
Growing up in Canada my father was routinely fed fruit jelly with tinned mixed veg in it, as a side dish to a main course. And grey mince that had been boiled (BOILED?) in water.

Repulsive.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 15:42, Reply)

i don't remember tuna
i remember onions though. with condensed milk. and sugar.

wtf.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 15:42, Reply)

My old boss (American)
used to make an 'overnight salad' that consisted of cream, white sugar, iceberg lettuce, parmesan and peas.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 15:49, Reply)

Condensed milk - terrible with tuna,
but ooooooookaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay with bread.
(Cave Duck, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 16:25, Reply)

Gwapple my gwapenuts, Kwiss ...

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 16:41, Reply)

that just made me sad
I think I still have a residue of empathy left. Clearly not spending enough time on here
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 15:35, Reply)

Really?
I cracked one off.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 15:38, Reply)

There's nothing like a dignified exit from your house
and that was nothing like etc etc etc
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 15:54, Reply)