1 o'clock this morning
when I realised my face, chest and shoulders were covered in large angry beetroot-coloured blotches. It was fucking scary.

Then I went to bed, had a hilarious dream where my brother and I were being held hostage by Raoul Moat, woke up and all the blotches were gone.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:23, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

was Gazza involved?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Disappointingly, no.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Totally got menigitis
/seriously measure your temperature.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:27, Reply)

I'm OK now.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Not if you've got a temperature you're not.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:33, Reply)

I don't feel like I have a temperature.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:37, Reply)

You should buy a thermometer and check
you don't want to KILL YOUR CHILD!!
(PsychoChomp, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:38, Reply)

I think I may have made her ill already.
She had a temperature yesterday and was rather groggy - she's at the doc's this morning.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:47, Reply)

AIDZ?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:30, Reply)

contaminated MDs, I am fairly sure.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:33, Reply)

How many Managing Directors have you fucked?
If it's a lot, then the chances are you will find a contaminated one sooner or later.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:38, Reply)

they all are, maaaan....
...contaminated by GREED, yeah?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:39, Reply)

If this is about Fat Cats.
Then I can tell you I'm really not interested. Dogs or nothing for me.

Right, I'm off for my daily shower and to write another letter to some Internet agony aunt.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Did you watch that documentary last night?
I had a very odd dream where Raoul was sitting there in the corner of the room, twitching

Most disturbing
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:33, Reply)

Too right I did, I thought it was hilarious.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:36, Reply)

Yep!
I liked his mates the best - they weren't at all nutters, no sir
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:37, Reply)

The bar my housemate works at
A doorman there (who is an certified loon) used to go to the same gym as Moat. The night after the police stand off he went "I always knew Moat was a bit daft" as if his crime was walking round town wearing a wacky hat.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:47, Reply)

I was wondering which pub(s) he worked at
I'm sure I'd seen him
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:48, Reply)

He used to do City Vaults down Bigg Market I think
He definitely worked down Bigg Market. And he was from Fenham. No wonder he was a nutcase.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Must have been City Vaults then

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:53, Reply)

I'm back in Newcastle tomorrow
Oh Bigg Market, how I have not missed you. At all.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:55, Reply)

Correct answer!
I'm orf to Featherstone this afternoon, followed by the dubious delights of Eastlands in Manchester on Friday
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 11:05, Reply)

I fucking love Murty.
Not only was Gazza involved, but Ray Mears? What the fuck?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:55, Reply)