By now Gonz should have asked this cafe goddess out or be on his way too
plus it being A level results day here's the question. When we're you last really nervous or anxious and why?

Alt Q: Monty is dead old shall we chip in for one of those baths that open at the side?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:52, 201 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Last october, when I thought I was definitely going to be sacked
That was hideous.

Alt Q: Shut up Chompy.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:53, Reply)

why sacked? elaborate please.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:55, Reply)

Due to a mix up with multiple circumstances, a company hadn't been invoiced in 4 months (about £12,500)
That was my job, but I hadn't been informed it was, and no-one had reminded me. The only reason I stayed on is because I'd been crucially told to ignore the piece of paper given to me, as it only contained addresses, which I'd now entered onto the system. That also contained invoice instructions, which I'd never looked at.

Realistically, it was my fault, but I couldn't be 100% blamed, as no-one else had checked before telling me.

Since then I've been the picture of a perfect employee.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:58, Reply)

I was hoping for something rebellious
could you not edit it to make it more exciting. add some sexual tension and maybe a fight. You know jazz it up a bit.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:03, Reply)

Well, tbh the trouble above was only the start
I expected a slap on the wrist, so decided to take the piss. I turned up wearing a clown outfit, with my cock poking out. As I was invited in, I started to cry, before bashing my bishop all over the place, screaming the lords prayer.

Then I punched the boss, before sodomising him with the chair he'd been sat in.

Better?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:09, Reply)

*standing ovation*

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:18, Reply)

8/10
A better piece of work now you have put some lies thought into it
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:19, Reply)

a i
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Because he had been sleeping all of September
Don't you know him?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:23, Reply)

If he's so old, why are you thinking about him being in the bath?

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:54, Reply)

He's a sick in the head motherfucker

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:55, Reply)

Old people are sexeh

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:55, Reply)

also, great youtube material

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:57, Reply)

I've heard that Monty is self cleaning
like an oven.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:57, Reply)

Too easy
cleaning polluting
oven dirty old man with nothing better to do than stare at NAKED LADIES on the internet
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

You're very angry today, aren't you?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Not that I'm aware of
would you like me to be?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:08, Reply)

look I'm the one who gets angry at the internet not you!!!!!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:09, Reply)

this really gets my goat!
*hulks out*
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:11, Reply)

If I could have a super power it would be to 'Hulk Out'
Just go mental and green and grow to a preposterous size before smashing stuff.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:16, Reply)

smashing stuff beating off in a frenzy
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:24, Reply)

with my huge green cock
and ectoplasm sperm
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Just seems that your posts are increasingly angry this morning

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

I was going for unkind rather than angry
Clearly I shall have to tone it down/up* a bit

*delete according to preference
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:15, Reply)

Down please
It's quite disorienting seeing people gang up on Monty
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:16, Reply)

it's not ganging up
besides I'm fully expecting a Harry Brown type reaction from Monty one day. It's all in good fun. Believe it or not I think he is one of the good guys.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:19, Reply)

I think I know who his first target would be...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:27, Reply)

What he said
Monty is by no means my least favourite B3tan, and I've always believed him to be possessed of a sense of humour sufficient to take it as well as give it out
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:27, Reply)

what I wanted to say but with MOAR grace and charm,
Cause he's a dancer innit
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:32, Reply)

We are an effortlessly refined bunch

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:37, Reply)

self abusing more like

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

last time was really anxious:
about 6 months ago when I looked at the company accounts, cashflow etc and it seemed we couldn't pay all our outstanding liabilities - thought I was going to go bust.

Pretty much sorted now thankfully.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Sweet.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

It was horrible. Everything I had has gone in to getting the company going - sold house, cashed in shares, ISA's etc so would have been gutted to see it go under.
Still could though if we lost clients but I am much less worried about this now we've been going for 2 years.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

I can't even start to imagine how horrific that must have been
What is it you actually do, if you don't mind me asking?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:11, Reply)

Rodeo cowboy

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:13, Reply)

Haha

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:27, Reply)

brand strategy, consumer marketing, advertising etc.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:14, Reply)

Sounds infinitely more interesting than me
I work in a company that produces plastic cards, woo(!)
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:15, Reply)

Plastic cards for loyalty cards etc?
I used to buy plastic cards from Thames Card Technology about 10 years ago when I was running a loyalty scheme for a retail chain.,
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:19, Reply)

Aye, that's what we do.
We deal with Thames a bit, they can produce cards on a larger scale though. We deal in other areas as well. We're based in Macclesfield.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:24, Reply)

We did buy a few million over time - was working for WH Smith & they have more than a couple of customers

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Aye, suppose
We deal with a few massive customers, Casinos are one of our biggest.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:36, Reply)

Last week, stuck a pearoast into QOTW
What if no-one voted for it second time around? What if I was crucified by my peers for my lack of imagination? What if I could no longer command a certain level of grudging respect from people I've never met with access to an "I like this" button which directly controls my fragile self-esteem? I'm like Tinkerbell; I need applause to live!

It was fine though, made the popular list and everything. But it was a tense couple of days in the fractured wilderness of my psyche, I can tell you that
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:03, Reply)

Not surprising you felt like that as it wasn't your best post.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:04, Reply)

It bugs me when people put a pearost in when it's already been on the popular page once

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:08, Reply)

pearoast is just reposting an old story yeah?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:09, Reply)

Yes.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:13, Reply)

Cheers sport.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:15, Reply)

yeah,
pearoast, repost, geddit?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:17, Reply)

I thought so but wanted to check so I fully understand your freaky ways.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:20, Reply)

I think it depends how recent the pearoast is - if it's from a couple of years ago quite a lot of people may not have seen it.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:11, Reply)

I reckon most people have read the QOTW archives when bored out of their trees at work
I think I've read it twice.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:18, Reply)

Me too
That's why I pearoasted it. Important that future generations of B3tans are aware of my all-pervading awesomeness
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:19, Reply)

You're familiar with my best post?
I concur, as it happens. And apologies Kitty, I was just being a lazy cunt last week
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

You are indeed like Tinkerbell:
an irritating little fairy.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:06, Reply)

Frankly, with a set-up that easy, I'm disappointed with your delivery
Let's hope Jimmy Anderson is in better form than you today
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:07, Reply)

I can't be bothered to try any more.
You've won.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:09, Reply)

That's cos I'm the best there is, Fats
Even if you beat me, I'll still be the best.

Anyone who can tell me which film this is from gets SO MANY POINTS
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:11, Reply)

I don't want your points,
but it seems to be the Hustler acording to Google.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:16, Reply)

Yuo don't get points if you have to fucking look it up
You get points for your honesty, though
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:19, Reply)

no one gives a shit about your points

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Aber does
and she's much better-looking than you, therefore her opinion counts for more
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:24, Reply)

not in the least bit sleazy
well done
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:53, Reply)

*Points.



And laughs*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Piss off, loser

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Pull up a chair
and listen to my tale of woe......

On my wedding day (just over two years ago), my to-be wife's father and I had sorted out a horse and carriage to take them both to the hotel where we were to get married. One the day, our 18 month old daughter also decided she wanted to go along too.

On the way down to the hotel the horses got spooked and bolted, turning the carriage over onto a roundabout. I, of course, was in the hotel bar drinking so knew nothing about this. I wandered upstairs to the room we had booked as the guests filled it up, staying away from the windows so I didnt see her beforehand, etc.

My wife's cousin suddenly shouted that she had turned up in a car, covered in blood. I basically had to stand there not knowing what was going on for what seemed like ages!

After a 20 min delay while she was cleaned up (cut arm, bruised face, bad back), my 18 month old daughter (cut foot, meaning she couldnt be our flower girl as she couldnt walk on it) and father in law to be (big cut to hip and torn clothes) we managed to get married!

That was an anxious wait!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:03, Reply)

Bollocks.
You beat up your wife-to-be and concocted this frankly poor story to cover it up.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:08, Reply)

Damn!
Foiled already!

I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you pesky b3tans
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:09, Reply)

I like the way he also beat up his father in law & daughter to add to his cover story. Nice attention to detail here.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:09, Reply)

When a jobs worth doing...
EDIT:

Punching the horse out was the hardest part of the cover story
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

You are Mongo
AICMFP
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Damn right!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:13, Reply)

Showed my friend that last weekend
He hasn't stopped replying to my 'Good morning' texts with 'Up yours, nigger' yet.

Fantastic.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:17, Reply)

The punching the horse out scene
is possibly one of the funniest things I've ever seen! I just can't stop laughing at it!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:18, Reply)

It's the beans round the fire scene for me
Proof I've still not grown up.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:25, Reply)

My father is a 67 year old academic.
That film and 'Animal House' are his absolute favourites.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:30, Reply)

Animal house is utterly brilliant in every way. Kudos to your OLD man.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:33, Reply)

I've never seen Animal House
*runs*
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:37, Reply)

you can prob pick it up on play or amazon for pennies.
It really is worth a watch.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Might download it later
Then again, tonight is Karaeoke, so I'll do it tomorrow.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:43, Reply)

the fun never stops

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:52, Reply)

This kareoke is awesome
We've got a guy who sings 'Rock Lobster', he's just magnificent to laugh at.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:54, Reply)

That is funny
But its the way the horse snaps its head over to one side then falls down that gets me every time!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:31, Reply)

what film are you talking about?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:25, Reply)

Blazing Saddles

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:26, Reply)

ahhhh
I've seen that, although it was yonks ago.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:32, Reply)

In that case, you'll just have to watch it again.
Now.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:37, Reply)

I like this!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:41, Reply)

I thought you were a girl

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:09, Reply)

Why?
Is it the tits?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:09, Reply)

yeah, they're unignorable.
I think it might have just been the cow part of your name as that's usually a female derogatory term.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:19, Reply)

Nope, sorry
Bloke
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:23, Reply)

It's ok
I thought Cougar was a bloke for ages, so it evens out.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:24, Reply)

No offence taken

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:34, Reply)

I thought you were a cat

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

well, that's gone and
spoilt your wank imagination, now
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:11, Reply)

I went to a fancy dress party a couple of halloweens ago and there was this girl who was
dressed as a big blue cat. Sexiest girl I'd seen in a while. That went in the bank. And her boyfriend (yeah I had a go) was called Ricky Martin.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:14, Reply)

my friend once wrote the best LJ entry ever
revolving around a dream about a cat in lingerie ("It wasn't a furry, it was a REAL cat, so that's OK") and about trying to find it's vagina. I might try and find it and quote the best bits
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:16, Reply)

I'm always up for creepy dream porn me.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:17, Reply)

OK, found it
"I start to go down on her. However, as she is a cat (quite cute I might add) she has a rather small, well, vagina (and clit) so I have trouble finding the entrance (frustrating obviously) but I continue on for a while, her back arching, obviously enjoying it (that's something I guess;)"
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:30, Reply)

oh god that's gross!
that actually made my stomach turn a bit.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:33, Reply)

hahahahaha brilliant
does he talk about furry tits at any point?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:34, Reply)

yes :(
oh, actually on reading, not very much. He has elaborated on it in real life since (frequently)

wait, no there is this bit: "She then removes her bra (here we go..) and I proceed to place my lips around her smooth, nippleless cat breast"
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:35, Reply)

I'm nursing a semi here.
Is your friend a bit *special*? would he actually shag a cat?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:38, Reply)

he certainly has his own 'style'
I don't think he'd shag a cat. In the replies, though he does point out that furrys are an acceptable form of beastiality.

TO be fair, he's a fairly sane guy (ish) with no filter between thinking and talking/typing
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:40, Reply)

I like him for being batshit mental and liking furries.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:46, Reply)

I'm quite a nervous person when it comes to certain things
I get frightened when I have to do anything new or scary by myself, like the other day I got the bus from one of our offices to the other and right up until I actually arrived at the office I was really nervous because I always think that I will have got the wrong one, or it'll go to a different place or it'll be horrifically late or something.

I think the only time I have ever been really truly nervous is the morning of the sky dive. I didn't feel what I recognised as fear or anxiety, I just felt really cold and unhappy.

Other than that I'm a pretty happy bunny most of the time.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:04, Reply)

sky dives are silly
there is the ground, there is a plane, why the hell do you need anything in between?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:06, Reply)

I've learned my lesson
it was for charity though in aid of anaphylaxis research, something that killed my friend's sister, so I felt obliged. Also, I had no idea I would hate it that much until I arrived at the field. At least I don't have to waste time and money bungee jumping, base jumping or abseiling now though.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:11, Reply)

I like the odd bit of fear when playing sports or what not
but when it's sky diving or base jumping or bungee jumping there is no room for error. If it goes wrong you're pretty much dead. That is fecking scary.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:13, Reply)

You haven't written a reply without the words "I" or "me" in this thread.
/Just saying.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:13, Reply)

nor have you

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:14, Reply)

Yeah, but that's not a fun way to upset kitty.
Plus the ones in quotes don't count.
edit: actually you're a liar.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:16, Reply)

I wrote rodeo cowboy half way up.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:20, Reply)

Not before I typed this,
you self obsessed shit face.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:21, Reply)

oh ok, fair enough.
you're just jealous because you hate yourself. As does everyone else.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:22, Reply)

I get very nervous doing all those little silly new things
I love travelling but I have to make sure I've covered all the possible problems, just in case: embassy phone number and direction, documents copied, credit cards and money spread in different places, check and re-check the map a hundred times... and I always fear I'm doing it wrong...

Then I got to meet Mark, and he's just the opposite. And he's made me better about this. I'm still cautious, but now, when I get nervous in case I took the wrong bus, he asks: "and what if you did?" and I think: "yeah, it's not so important, I can pick another, I can take a taxi, I can ask for directions... yeah, no need to worry"

My life is much better now.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:33, Reply)

you are so happy at the moment aren't you?
It's nice to see how loved up you are come through when you write about Mark.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:36, Reply)

Yeah, am I getting boring now?
I'm happy about my love life. I'm so upset about work. So, so, so upset. GRRRR
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Not boring at all
I don't think anyone likes their job that much unless it's a vocation. That's why we have hobbies I think. Is the new role not going as well as you would have liked?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:43, Reply)

I chose this job and really enjoyed it
It's been 2 slow years of doing the same thing again and again, but now finally I got to do this new role, which sounded very interesting and exciting. So for the last 2 weeks I've really liked what I'm doing, despite the 4h comute every day and not having time for anything.

Now, I told one of my colleagues of one problem that we have and that'll need some time to solve, but that's fine, I'll solve it, I just need time to do it, and I have time on this role. However, my colleague told my boss, and my boss has decided, without even asking me, that another person, an "expert" is going to solve that problem, and do my new role for me, while I go back to the boring job I've been doing for 2 years.

I want to kill someone.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:51, Reply)

oh man that sucks!
can you not try and convince your boss to give you a chance on it?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:54, Reply)

I've been talking with my bosses for these 2 years
They keep saying I'm brilliant and so good, but it's not the right moment, just be patient. And now what are they going to say? This is an important job, they don't want to lose it. I hate this.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:57, Reply)

that is harsh. Is there anything you can do?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:56, Reply)

I'm between
1. Fuck off, I'm fed up with you, I'm going to get another job.

and

2. Right, I'm going to work overtime for free, solve this problem and show you how good I am (I've done this before, I got congratulations from everybody, including the client, who was impressed with the job, but it doesn't seem to have changed anything)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Just take time to think before reacting.
Might be worth speaking to Mark as well see what he thinks. But you know your role and the company best. Do whatever will work out best for you. Would it be a bad move to say look I appreciate you're concerned with this issue however I think I have a solution and would like you to continue showing the faith in me you have so far and let me do my job.

Or would they bitch slap back to the basement? x
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 11:10, Reply)

I am nervous because Hot Bar Girl has invited me to Torture Garden with her in a couple of weeks.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:14, Reply)

time to clean your gimp mask

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:15, Reply)

and break out the spank paddle

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:16, Reply)

Morning Vipros

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:18, Reply)

shut up bert

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:21, Reply)

shut up bert Morning sweet cheeks
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:22, Reply)

My lack of these things may be contributing to the nerves.
I am getting all angsty about what I should wear. Clearly I am turning into a girl.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:19, Reply)

arseless chaps
and a black string vest

and a spiked collar
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:21, Reply)

should be easy enough to make

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:22, Reply)

Do I have to wax my arse?
Or can I just wear the areseless chaps over my standard M&S boxer shorts that my mum bought for me?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:24, Reply)

lady's choice

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:25, Reply)

that might be part of the show

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:31, Reply)

Nice one!
I've never been to TG, been tempted though.
A mate performed there once, got a fleur de lis branded just above her poon, whilst she was naked on stage. She showed me a few weeks after, it was nicely done.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:22, Reply)

I wasn't a fan of Antichrist but I'm hoping TG will suck less.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:25, Reply)

A chap I know goes there
dressed as an SS Officer. He got the uniform from a re-enactment place.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:38, Reply)

That's just mean :-(

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:38, Reply)

this morning
on opening a stroppy email from my boss on my blackberry. god i hate being in trouble for someone else's screw-up, ESPECIALLY when i am still 5 stops away from work.

on the plus side, some tool at [insert name] council has royally screwed up by failing to respond to my claim form in time. this has cost his tax payers and made my clients about £500k. how incompetent can you get?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:19, Reply)

I can get pretty incompetent.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:20, Reply)

mpetent ntinent
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Bravo!!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:26, Reply)

1 o'clock this morning
when I realised my face, chest and shoulders were covered in large angry beetroot-coloured blotches. It was fucking scary.

Then I went to bed, had a hilarious dream where my brother and I were being held hostage by Raoul Moat, woke up and all the blotches were gone.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:23, Reply)

was Gazza involved?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Disappointingly, no.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Totally got menigitis
/seriously measure your temperature.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:27, Reply)

I'm OK now.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Not if you've got a temperature you're not.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:33, Reply)

I don't feel like I have a temperature.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:37, Reply)

You should buy a thermometer and check
you don't want to KILL YOUR CHILD!!
(PsychoChomp, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:38, Reply)

I think I may have made her ill already.
She had a temperature yesterday and was rather groggy - she's at the doc's this morning.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:47, Reply)

AIDZ?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:30, Reply)

contaminated MDs, I am fairly sure.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:33, Reply)

How many Managing Directors have you fucked?
If it's a lot, then the chances are you will find a contaminated one sooner or later.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:38, Reply)

they all are, maaaan....
...contaminated by GREED, yeah?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:39, Reply)

If this is about Fat Cats.
Then I can tell you I'm really not interested. Dogs or nothing for me.

Right, I'm off for my daily shower and to write another letter to some Internet agony aunt.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Did you watch that documentary last night?
I had a very odd dream where Raoul was sitting there in the corner of the room, twitching

Most disturbing
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:33, Reply)

Too right I did, I thought it was hilarious.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:36, Reply)

Yep!
I liked his mates the best - they weren't at all nutters, no sir
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:37, Reply)

The bar my housemate works at
A doorman there (who is an certified loon) used to go to the same gym as Moat. The night after the police stand off he went "I always knew Moat was a bit daft" as if his crime was walking round town wearing a wacky hat.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:47, Reply)

I was wondering which pub(s) he worked at
I'm sure I'd seen him
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:48, Reply)

He used to do City Vaults down Bigg Market I think
He definitely worked down Bigg Market. And he was from Fenham. No wonder he was a nutcase.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Must have been City Vaults then

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:53, Reply)

I'm back in Newcastle tomorrow
Oh Bigg Market, how I have not missed you. At all.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:55, Reply)

Correct answer!
I'm orf to Featherstone this afternoon, followed by the dubious delights of Eastlands in Manchester on Friday
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 11:05, Reply)

I fucking love Murty.
Not only was Gazza involved, but Ray Mears? What the fuck?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:55, Reply)

Last time I asked a bird out
that went well. Also the Europa League final in May. I still can't think about it and not get upset.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:31, Reply)