Busy weekend
Painting kitchen and changing the light fittings. (No good at painting and terrified of electrics.)
Kids party at a friend of Mrs T's house. (Hate her bitch friend and more so her dullard spouse who likes Texas and Coldplay.)
Playing cricket. (Have not played since I was 15, and found it tedious then. I am roped in because it will be 'fun'.)
My mother is staying over on Saturday. (I don't like her - she is a nasty piece of work and we do not get on at all.)
Cooking a bouillabaisse (pain in the arse but I said I would.)

In between all these pleasures I have to smoke a big bag of 'dro, partake in a DMT ritual with an old friend, and watch an MC5 DVD courtesy of the great Mr Boyce.

Alt Q My sequinned donkey jacket - I think this could be a new fashion must-have and will be forming a band called Dexy's Midnight Bummers at some point in the near future.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 12:29, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Cum on Alfie
Could be your closing number.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 12:33, Reply)

I have been singing "Queeno" since you suggested that.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 12:43, Reply)

You will LOVE that DVD.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 12:37, Reply)

I am rigid with anticipation.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 12:52, Reply)

Don't forget the special features.
That should be easy for you, seeing as you yourself have 'special features' that only a mother could love.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 12:56, Reply)

Care to edit that, smart-arse?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 12:59, Reply)

Yes, I rather think I will.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 13:10, Reply)

Good - now where were we?
Ah yes - abuse.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 13:11, Reply)

FFS make sure you pull the light fuse out or switch off the circuit breaker.
Do not rely on the light switch. draw a picture of the connections on the old fitting before you take any wires out.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 12:37, Reply)

FFS make sure you pull the light fuse out or switch off the circuit breaker Do the electrical stuff on DMT.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 12:40, Reply)

I could play Danger UXB!!!!!
Classic plan Monters.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 12:42, Reply)

Or watch Juggernaut.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 12:46, Reply)

You're dull
Use a knife and wear metal gloves, and try touching wires together to see what happens.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 12:40, Reply)

I'm only dull when I know what I'm talking about.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 12:47, Reply)

So you're never dull, then?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 13:10, Reply)

and stand in a bucket of water with a foil hat on.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 12:59, Reply)

To stop the CIA sending messages to the brain?
Whoa - good idea.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 13:03, Reply)

Thanks for the tip.
I really am shit scared of this type of thing.
The last time I did electrics I had indulged in a calming "wake 'n' bake" for breakfast; problem was I was so chilled I checked the fusebox about six times before getting scared and going for a walk.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 12:41, Reply)

Look here:
www.diydoctor.org.uk/projects/replacelightfitting.htm
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 12:50, Reply)

Thanks for that.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 12:53, Reply)