Same with cars isn't it?
That's why I've never spent more than a grand on a car in the 17 years I've been driving.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:49, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I don't/can't drive Jeffarama.
but I'm sure you're right. I cannot shake the feeling that Panasonic saw me fucking coming.

But then I did have a wank outside Rumbelow's once, so they probably have.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:52, Reply)

Rumbelow's
Was the BEST shop to have a wank in front of.

Unlike Dixons with their metal shutters, you could stand outside 'Belows, have one off the wrist AND watching yourself doing so on a telly rigged up to one of their camcorders.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:57, Reply)

I use to work with my step dad in Tandys on a Saturday.

( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:03, Reply)

Maybe that's where it was then.
Did you have pigtails?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:06, Reply)

I was about 10.
Probably.
( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:11, Reply)

Child labour.
You can't beat it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:14, Reply)

Ah.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:27, Reply)

I remember you now
The toddler with the glint in his eye staring through the window of the shop. I always thought it was strange for a 4 year old to be wearing a cravat.
( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:31, Reply)

Listen, I've changed now*
*not literally. I'm still in the same Farrah-effect trousers and 'geometric pattern' C&A jumper I was wearing all those years ago. The colours don't cut quite the bold dash they did in those glorious days of yore, and maybe they don't fit quite so well as they did back then, but inside I'm still the same old sweaty, rapey me.

I promise x x x x

EDIT and the Start-Rite cravat - of course!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:37, Reply)

You never forget your first perv.

( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:40, Reply)

C&A? Really Monty?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:41, Reply)

Fuck no.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:49, Reply)

I should hope not
That shop was the most depressing one ever
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:50, Reply)

The very thought of the logo
makes me all 'Moaty'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:54, Reply)

I bet you have a secret fondness
for it. Apparantly still available on the continent
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:22, Reply)

Ah, Europe...
so 'chic', n'ec'e'e'e pas?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:26, Reply)

Rome yes
but then I bet there is no C&A in Rome
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:30, Reply)

No.
....but there is a 'U' in 'cunt'!!!!!111

I've got this whole 'chatting up' lark all wrong, haven't I?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:37, Reply)

MONTYTRON ENGAGE
-stage revolves, platform rises with wind machine catching his luscious locks, cape flapping behind him-
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:39, Reply)

I'm afraid so yes
there is also a U in fucker! (If you don't get this response you are doing it wrong)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:41, Reply)

Work in Tandy, nice and handy.
I hated shopping in Tandy.

They'd always insist of getting your name and address when you went to complete a transaction.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:14, Reply)

My Tandy also sold remaindered singles.
I got six copies of Anarchy in the UK for about £1.50. Made a fair bit on them.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:46, Reply)

Good work, Porkinson.
Did I ever tell you about my Sex Pistols connection during the war?

*fills pipe, draws blanket around knees in bath chair, pisses grey M&S y fronts*

I did? Oh.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:51, Reply)

But that was more than offset by my two biggest losses.
A very good copy of the original Honky Tonk Woman in the picture sleeve and a copy of The Who's Relay with Waspman on the B side (lol). Both stolen at the same party. Bastard students.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:34, Reply)

Panasonic plasma's are the best tv's on the market at the moment.
Full of Pioneer's incredible, but discontinued, Kuro series of plasmas.

I have got my eye on a modest 42" model at £800. Just need to peddle my prolapsed arsehole another 39 times.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:14, Reply)

Why not sell some
of that massive box of apostrophes you clearly have lying around the place these days, 'flash boy'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:32, Reply)

Dang nabbit
A momentary lapse of concentration and look where it gets me.



*shames*
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:57, Reply)

Same here.
I replace something when it's broken and not when something newer and shinier comes out.
( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:52, Reply)

This is the problem with society today.
When I were a lad, and all this was just fields, Old Man DogFucker would repair things. If the kettle was on the blink, he'd investigate and fix it. If the telly broke, a specialist TV repair man would be called to fix it (or it would go back to Radio Rentals and they'd sort it).

These days, if something breaks, we replace it no mend it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:56, Reply)

Those newer and shinier Greek waiters
are nowhere near as good as the old ones anyway. Best just remembering the good times, eh?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:56, Reply)

How many waiters have you got yourself under?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:58, Reply)

I once had a fight with about 5 young Grecos
on a beach. They followed me around chanting 'Jesus Christ' at me until I threw a stein at one of them.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:08, Reply)

You is well 'ard.
Stein and deliver!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:14, Reply)

Hardly.
I had to hide in a hotel until they fucked off. I was on a 6th form trip to see Classical sites so luckily we were off the next morning.

Moped-riding bottom-wranglers.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:24, Reply)

What is it with your average European and his love of mopeds?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:26, Reply)

It's second only
to their love of purse-snatching, weedy-moustache-growing and pastel-coloured-clothing-wearing.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:29, Reply)

You'd have a weedy-moustache
You drug abuser.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:33, Reply)

Mine is worthy of the R.A.fucking F I'll have you know.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:52, Reply)

Men in uniform are your bestest of all the men.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:55, Reply)

^This

( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:56, Reply)

Do you have a weedy moustache too?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:57, Reply)

No way.
She's always very careful - she'd never catch what you Germans call 'Wee Dee'.

Very personal question there, I'm appalled.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:02, Reply)

Sorry.
I should remember my place around here.

Consider me repremanded.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:09, Reply)

SCHWEINHUND!
*slaps round face with highly collectable luxury logo-embossed Gestapo glove*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:20, Reply)

Tsk.
slaps round face with highly collectable luxury logo-embossed Gestapo glove cock.

You big gaymo.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:28, Reply)

The only waiter I spoke to was Armenian.

( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:01, Reply)

Who said anything about speaking?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:09, Reply)

*snort*

( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:11, Reply)

It's like you can see into my sitting room.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:14, Reply)

Ooooh! Ooooh! I think I know this one.
Drugs.

Close?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:16, Reply)

I'm going with Monty owning a truffling pig
A long shot I admit
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:19, Reply)

Jeffers, you are like Derren Brown in your perspicacity.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:20, Reply)

You calling my brain a gay?
You starting?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:20, Reply)

GAY-BRAIN, GAY-BRAIN!
Look everyone, Jeff's a 'gay-brain'!

Hahahahaha

Gay-brain.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:30, Reply)

Homobrainophobe.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:32, Reply)

Er - 'gay-brain'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:08, Reply)

Stop starting.
Gay-brain hater.

Just because I can see into the future, you get scared.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:11, Reply)

^ classic 'gay-brain' talk here, if anyone's interested.
WHICH I SERIOUSLY DOUBT.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:21, Reply)

Okay. I'll prove it.
Tomorrow.

Someone will call someone 'Bert'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:31, Reply)

Pardon, Gay-brain?
I can't quite hear you over the DEAFENING SOUND OF YOUR GAY BRAIN.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:34, Reply)

Proper LOL from me.
If I may...

POTD
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:38, Reply)

It's surely not better
than my 'MC rhymes' today?

Gah! No-one understands me OR my music.

*flounces*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:47, Reply)

I didn't read it.
I don't read a lot of what gets posted here.

Feel free to have SPOTD
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:49, Reply)

Lots of vinyl
and a pervasive odour of cat.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:22, Reply)

No more smell of cat, sadly.
No-one on which to blame the 'Whiskas stains' on the curtains, nowadays.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:31, Reply)

What happened to your pussy?

( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:34, Reply)

He moved to the country
where he could run around and kill things instead of being cooped up in my flat all the time.

Re-reading that, it rather appeals to me, apart from the running around bit, of course.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:43, Reply)

It's all about the killing.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:44, Reply)

Aw! you have no-one to cuddle : (

( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:46, Reply)

No-one
alive, no.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:53, Reply)

I understand.
The dead don't fight back.
( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:55, Reply)

Or have 'a headache'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:05, Reply)

Rapierist!

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:20, Reply)

available all month as well

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:21, Reply)

fuckin' sexy like

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:27, Reply)

likes a good game
of sleeping lions
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:36, Reply)

LIONS LIONS FUCKING LIONS

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:36, Reply)

Surely it would have sunk in everywhere?
And hang around, like a malevolent, mewing spectre?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:31, Reply)

My own putrid stench
is like a mortuary Febreze, luckily.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:33, Reply)

The smell of tears, regret, dried semen
and dry meat.


Delicious.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:36, Reply)

'Disappointment.......by Monty Boyce...'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:45, Reply)

bedroom-in-the-dark-lol
It'll be a best seller.

"Suggestions for use: Spray on an old blanket, then roll into a rough sausage shape. You can put this in your bed and snuggle up to it, it'll almost be like having someone else sharing your pitiful existence!"
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:48, Reply)

'Comes with free razorblades'
because we know you can't come without them
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:53, Reply)

The advertising world
is your fucking oyster, young lady.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:55, Reply)

Thanks
I try
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:09, Reply)