you could
put velcro on the ceiling. but that wouldn't prohibit the very first bounce.

i say go for a widely drafted clause that prevents any form of person, regardless of sex, age, nationality, colour, creed or religion, from engaging in any sort of activity, including but not limited to, bouncing, flouncing, thrashing, diving, leaping, jumping, hopping, skipping, pouncing or otherwise moving swiftly on or around your bed.

i'm £385 plus vat and disbs per hour but for you monty...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:22, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

£382.50?
YESSSSSSSS
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:23, Reply)

monty monty
how could you reduce what we have to filthy lucre?

i was going to say, but for you monty, i'd breach my own restrictive covenant. because you know, i talk THAT DIRTY.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:26, Reply)

Phwooooarrrr!
I wouldn't mind 'breaching' your 'restrictive covenant', love.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:30, Reply)

watching the same happen to Lampito in her films not enough for you?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:31, Reply)

I am INSATIABLE.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:33, Reply)

Doing the same to Lampito
isn't enough for him
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:34, Reply)

Well she's 'broken' now.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:37, Reply)

This is true facts
I couldn't walk for a couple of days.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:43, Reply)

That's me.
'Love'em and leave'em (split like a ruptured pea pod)'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:44, Reply)

it's very tightly drafted
so can accommodate both major and minor breaches, although the bigger the breach, the bigger the damages award.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:34, Reply)

Don't....stop....

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:36, Reply)

*get's 'the gush' like a sad faced, freaky clown*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:37, Reply)

who is the geyser and who is the clown
in this scenario? i have lost control of my own metaphor.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:41, Reply)

Both are me.
Plus, metaphwwwooooaar more like.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:43, Reply)

oh god
i have reduced the charming, beautifully spoken, cultured monty into a "sun" reading white van driver. why do i always bring out the worst in men (some of whom are pretty shit to start with)?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:47, Reply)

It's your Northernness.
It has corrupted me from within.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:51, Reply)

it's the only explanation

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:51, Reply)

so are you both saying
that northern girls are filthier?

i've lived half my life in cheshire/yorkshire and half in london, so i win either way. unless you don't take being filthy as a win, of course. hmmm.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:55, Reply)

Well, I am as filthy as they come
as I'm generally covered in excrement.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:56, Reply)

I couldn't possibly say, due to complete ignorance.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:57, Reply)

lies!
i detect backtracking.

and you, mr vipros.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:02, Reply)

I can say with complete honesty
that I have never mated with a Northern.

Upon my honour.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:11, Reply)

I can also say this
also, that post I linked earlier, the poster has responded, angrily.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:13, Reply)

I fear I have exacerbated the situation now.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:27, Reply)

many people don't seem to grasp how you can get some good, clean, simple fun
from being a terrible pedant.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:29, Reply)

It's the sport of kings, old boy.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:33, Reply)

what I find particularly amusing
is that each individual who gets worked up about it seems to think that it is a personal attack.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:35, Reply)

In fairness, it is becoming one now.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:42, Reply)

on your part.
I don't care enough
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:43, Reply)

i'll be back around midnight
i'll leave the french doors open for you
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:16, Reply)

I'm going to have to
send my Euphemism-ometer in for repairs - it just overheated, made a funny noise and has subsequently blown up.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:27, Reply)

that's the longest way
to describe "ejaculation" that i've ever seen, well done.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:31, Reply)

I aim to please.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:35, Reply)

my open french doors
and i will take you at your word
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 16:04, Reply)

I wasn't thinking of that sort of corruption
I have no idea either. The northernmost I have ventured, conquestually speaking, is Reading, or possibly Swansea, which either is more northerly
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:59, Reply)

Northern girls are more vocal about filthiness
Filthiness = WIN.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:04, Reply)

but they say it in their dreadful accents...
much better to hear someone well spoken encouraging you to give it to them.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:09, Reply)

Oh I have to agree here
A well-spoken lady talking dirty is hot.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:14, Reply)

It's not that good when you have a loud voice
and you're having cocktails with someone easily embarrassed.
Like Kitty.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:10, Reply)

Before I go to the cash point, what can I expect for this? And does anyone else want in on this? If we can get 38 of us, it'll only be a tenner each, seems worth it to me, girls 'round my way charge about £60.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:09, Reply)