I'm about 3 films away from an anal prolapse
Should I still make them, and retire, or should I move onto something more niche like armpit fucking?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:44, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Keep making them
(the fact that I am both co-star and majority shareholder in the production company is neither here nor there)

When it actually happens we can film it and make an edgy 'arthouse' film about it. Lots of moody lighting etc.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:49, Reply)

make it a martial arthouse film

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:51, Reply)

GUT WHIP

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:51, Reply)

become the giver
once the prolapse happens. The 'voice of experience' as it were
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:51, Reply)

I might move into colostomy bag scat.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:51, Reply)

Camera pans out
Lampito stands there. She seductively whispers to the camera 'you've seen me before in Anal Ramming 7 and the best-selling Cavity Search 4.

Now I bring you the fruits of my labour. Literally speaking.'

*Shows colostomy bag*
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:54, Reply)

Shittellypoop-bag bebopdiddly doo.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:55, Reply)

It's what happens
when you mix Cab Calloway and shit
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:57, Reply)

Cab Calloway IS shit.
When you mix Cab Calloway and shit you just get a shit cocktail.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:10, Reply)

Cab Calloway is not shit
I don't even really like jazz and I like him
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:12, Reply)

He is the Iron Maiden of jazz.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:37, Reply)

That's actually a surprisingly good analogy

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:43, Reply)

Except I quite like Iron Maiden
so not really putting me off him. I love his version of Minnie the Moocher
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:45, Reply)

Minnie is a good song
and he does turn in a good performance on Blues Brothers. I just think - at least from the songs I've heard - he has a habit of overdoing the scat and ruining the piece. A bit like Coltrane or Parker just going off on one and completely detaching their solos from the rest of the band.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:48, Reply)

That's fair enough
since admittedly I know little about jazz and haven't heard enough to judge I shall take your word for it
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:50, Reply)

listen to the song Jazz Guy by the Presidents of the USA
it sums it up nicely

particularly the bit that goes:
I wanna learn all the chords
solo till everyone in the room
is bored
beyond belief
I can't wait for the end of my solo
sweet sweet relief
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:53, Reply)

The song makes a good point
Arguably the best thing to do if you're trying to play jazz is not to try to be an expert, just to learn enough that you can improvise interesting but enjoyable melodies. If you learn too much your playing becomes too thought-out; too much head and too little heart. And for those reasons, even though he is a far better piano player than I will ever be, Brad Mehldau can fuck right off.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 16:05, Reply)

that's my view
sort of how my band works too. We know enough to play interesting stuff, but the loose structure of things means we can write songs very fast, and it stays fresh and enjoyable.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 16:14, Reply)

I think the most important thing is to keep the 'feel' in the music
Our guitarist has studiously learnt umpteen million different techniques, and could probably shred over our stuff if he wanted to, but has thankfully recognised that more mellow, melodic blues playing fits a hell of a lot better.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 16:21, Reply)

I do like jazz
And his grossly overscatted version of St James' Infirmary has turned my opinion against him somewhat.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:39, Reply)

apparantly I fail at jazz
since I don't like Louis Armstrong's vocal style when he sings that
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:55, Reply)

Really? I adore his version.
Certainly has much more soul that Calloway's version. (And infinitely more than the version recorded by Tom Jones and Jools Holland)
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:58, Reply)

Tom Jones doesn't even come close
I love the sound of the Louis Armstrong version, but something about the vocals feels wrong
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 16:11, Reply)

The mood of his version is perfect.
But I can see why the vocal might not be to everyone's taste. I guess it's a similar issue to Tom Waits' ballads - the vocal style is quite jarring, but works really well if you can get into it.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 16:15, Reply)

d p
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:57, Reply)

You truly are the queen of scat.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:02, Reply)

I haven't checked the latest in your filmography
But I'm going to assume that double anal is pretty standard, as is double fisting. Maybe go up to triple anal fisting?
Seen it, yes it's possible.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:52, Reply)

You mean you didn't recognise me in that film.
That was when I was starting out.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:52, Reply)

The one I saw
Was a guy, in basque and stockings and a very unconvincing wig, having two german dominatrixes push three fists inside him.

If that was you, then sorry about the wig comment, and may I comment on how rubbery your clit looked waggling away down there.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:55, Reply)

Monty doesn't like it when I let it swing free
I tuck it up, generally.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:57, Reply)

'does it hang low
does it wobble to and fro, can you tie it in a knot, can you tie it in a bow?'

Oops meant as an edit. Original song anyone?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:58, Reply)

Also
Testicles, or bulbous *ahem* labia majora?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:58, Reply)

Like elephant ears
I can occasionally use them as a fur-lined scarf.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 14:59, Reply)

Oh now I've definitely seen your work

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:01, Reply)

AND YOU LOVED IT

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:02, Reply)

I have to be in the mood for it though, y'know?
Some days I just want a bit of lezzer action, other days I just can't be sated without some ultra-hardcore anal-legging. So, for those other days, I thank you.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:06, Reply)

I was classifying some images
yesterday of some hardcore "footing".

I've got an image of a rather large toy too, I'll upload it for you!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:08, Reply)

classifying images?
Sounds a lot like what I do most weeks... what for?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:09, Reply)

www.recon.com

Isss where I work esse.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:18, Reply)

Right click-open in new tab
*sees the title and hastily closes tab*
Gotcha!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:19, Reply)

What was the title?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:24, Reply)

"Recon - photo profiles for gay men"

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:25, Reply)

Might be an idea to label that NSFW

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:28, Reply)

Can't blame the boy.
If that's where he works then to his mind, there must be little that is not SFW.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:38, Reply)

I now have visions of you
folding up your ladyflaps to use as ear muffs. I think my brain is broken...
(berk, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:08, Reply)

;)

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:09, Reply)

Like a sweaty deerstalker

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:09, Reply)

Exactly so
Not so much sweaty as just...moist, though.
(berk, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:10, Reply)

Good moist
Or Bad moist?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:11, Reply)

I don't know, you'd have to ask Lampers!

(berk, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:28, Reply)

That is magnificent.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:24, Reply)

Dear Lampito
Armpit fucking or 'bagpiping' as it is known in the industry is a growing niche market. Now could be a good time to branch out rather than ruining your anal lining in the longrun.
( WormuIus, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:43, Reply)