I've made my mind up
that pretty much every person on earth is an idiot.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:34, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I don't know whether you're a ruder version of myself
or if I'm a more polite version of you. My ego says the former.
( Kroney, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:36, Reply)

You're wise.
Wise, and correct.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:39, Reply)

Socratic, aren't I?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:41, Reply)

People are very surprised when they realise how misanthropic I am.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:43, Reply)

Oddly enough, my driving instructor taught me the same thing.
"Treat everybody else on the road as though they're an idiot," he told me. I presumed this was supposed to be in reference to reacting to whatever they might do whilst driving in the same vicinity as you, but I've adopted as a general rule for life.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:41, Reply)

I'm not an idiot
There you are, being rude again. AGAIN making me cry. Oh, I don't know how to deal with it, you should buy me a drink now.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:45, Reply)

Steady on, you'll be absolutely smashed by 5 o'clock.
_{Please don't cry people will start staring...}
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:47, Reply)

That gives me 10 min to get drunk
Counting with the lack of sleep, I think that's 5 too many.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:48, Reply)

I'm really upset too.
Large cognac, old boy. You know it's only right.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:48, Reply)

Does this mean I'm going to have to buy you a drink every time some sod mentions football?

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:50, Reply)

You just mentioned it yourself.
I'll have a pint with that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:50, Reply)

Arse.

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:52, Reply)

No, not a pint of arse.
You're not in one of your 'special' nightclubs now.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:55, Reply)

Are you sure?
I can get each cheek into a pint glass, it's quite impressive to watch...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:02, Reply)

I take a very dim view of such activities, young man.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:07, Reply)

How was your Arse, in the end?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:10, Reply)

I bet he'll give you VSOP, just to piss you off.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:50, Reply)

That sounds like the sort of thing he'd do.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:52, Reply)

Like the FIEND I am! Haha!
*laughs maniaclly whilst twirling moustache*
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:53, Reply)

MONTY POP QUIZ:
What DOES he drink?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:54, Reply)

Cognac.

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:59, Reply)

XO, to be precise.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:59, Reply)

Must admit, I didn't know that.

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:01, Reply)

Whenever possible:
www.thewhiskyexchange.com/P-1733.aspx

There are better ones out there but this is my staple
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:02, Reply)

Bloody hell
I remember I promised I'd buy you a bottle for punching you (or suchlike) but I don't love you THAT much.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:10, Reply)

Yes you do. Think about it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:12, Reply)

...What do I get out of it?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:14, Reply)

schlong

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:17, Reply)

Monty Schlong?
Urgh.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:18, Reply)

you say that
but you are secreting lubricant at the mere thought
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:19, Reply)

...remember, I don't fancy Monty.
in his words- THANK GOD
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:20, Reply)

Is that a tall glass of schloer?

(Cave Duck, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:20, Reply)

I see how you might think that.
whatever helps you choke it down
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:22, Reply)

I'll have a go on some of that
thanks for the invite, I'll be over by about 8.
( Kroney, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:15, Reply)

The dozy bugger.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:54, Reply)

He'll get you drunk
and then he'll do bad things to you. Be careful of the crow.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:54, Reply)

I have the constitution of an ox.
He'd be blubbing into his pondwater before I'd even started warming up.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:58, Reply)

But he'll be drinking water
and giving you absinte. Don't you know the trick?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:01, Reply)

He'd still spin out before me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:02, Reply)

LIES!
The cat was sober, it was me that was pissed...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:58, Reply)

Tell that to the poor traumatised criature
No wonder he was so quiet next day.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:00, Reply)