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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Oh, well
For the 5 min I'm going to be here, can we talk about happy things?

I got an email from my boss congratulating me for my good job and the great commendations I'm getting from the client.

Yesterday, we went to Brighton and got to buy our wedding rings for 1/4 of the price that was asked for the same rings in Manchester, and 1/2 or our budget.

And I'm on holidays on Wednesday, going to Navarra, to my father's village (I haven't been there in ages) for the fiesta (similar to Sanfermines, but little); and Mark's parents are coming and meeting my family. I'm so looking forward to it!

Why are you happy, happy today?

Alt Q.: What are you expecting to happen soon that's going to make you happy, happy?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:43, 234 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
great news on the rings and the holiday
good luck with the inlaws too!

I am not happy today but I am not sad I am meh.

Alt Q: Arsenal V Spurs tomorrow night is always exciting.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:46, Reply)
Why only meh?
Nothing happening in your life today?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:48, Reply)
exactly that. I have nothing to be sad or happy about today.
Today is just another Monday. I will try and add some excitement before I go to bed.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:50, Reply)
Mondays are always exciting for me
a new week ahead!

They're very tirying too. I left Worthing at 5am this morning. After 5h travel I got to work. I won't get home until 7pm tonight. But it doesn't matter. I'm on holidays soon.

Oh, yes, and the stupid accountants have finally sorted out a little problem and I'm getting the £150 the owened me from beginning of August. Yey!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:54, Reply)
You are on a roll my spanish friend.
I have just organised a little drug deal so have added a soupcon of danger to my evening
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:03, Reply)
Bad boy
I don't do drugs... I'm too scared of becoming an addict. Have fun, though.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:05, Reply)
it's only weed
it's like light beer. or Drugs for dummies.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:07, Reply)
Oh, ok
Weed is ok. I thought you meant proper drugs.

I've tried weed and it does nothing to me, so I don't do it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:13, Reply)
I'm being dragged to watch that in a pub tomorrow
Meh.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:48, Reply)
Look at the bright side
Alcohol and men in shorts. No need no more to be happy.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:49, Reply)

men morons
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:50, Reply)
shut your face!

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:51, Reply)
you can't argue that most footballers aren't quite dim

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:52, Reply)
David James has a degree.
and my argument stops there. As it's run out of steam.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:54, Reply)
I know a lot of idiots with degrees
what is his in?

shouting?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:57, Reply)
I think it's in having very bad hair and being crap at catching.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:04, Reply)
Being a shit keeper who is fucking up my season.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:06, Reply)
Mark Lawrenson has nine o'levels.
and played in a Liverpool team who collectively had , err 9 o'levels.

Though their former players Steve Heighhway and Brian Hall both had degrees. Fromer Tottenham winger Tony Galvin had a degree in Russian, thus proving once and for all that Spurs' players are superior to Arsenal's.
(Cave Duck, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:00, Reply)
I'm on a roll now
Seyi Olofinjana (currently on loan at Cardiff)has a degree in something like chemical engineering.
Former Reading & Newcastle goalie Shaka Hislop has a degree in summat to do with rocket science.
(Cave Duck, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:18, Reply)

sexy morons, you mean.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:52, Reply)
if idiots do it for you then sure
knock yourself out
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:53, Reply)
You can't be so unfair
They are stupid, yes, and? I'm not having a chat with them, you see? I'm looking at them on screen. Or do you think all those porn actressess that you like so much are super clever scientists?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:55, Reply)
I can be as unfair as I like.
that's irrelevant however, if a woman is clearly stupid it makes her much less attractive.

That is why Kelly Brook is not the most attractive woman who ever lived
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:56, Reply)
Top knockers though

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:58, Reply)
oh yeah
she is stunning, but because she is quite dim, she's not right at the top of the list
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:58, Reply)
That doesn't stop anyone watching porn
as I said, I'm not going to talk with them and, you like it or not, most of them are very sexy.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:00, Reply)
I don't really have any opinion on it to be honest.
don't care enough. I'm just bored and finding everyone in my office quite irritating.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:04, Reply)
So you pay that with me?
Oh, well, that's why we're here, isn't that?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:06, Reply)
;-)
indeed it is.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:07, Reply)
Glad to help

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:12, Reply)
This is a good comeback!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:57, Reply)
There's got to be a market for science porn
"Watch this busty beauty perform Lorentz transformations in a smoking hot non-inertial reference frame."
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:59, Reply)
I would watch that

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:00, Reply)
Me too
But only if they are trying to make a time machine. Time machines are cool and sexy.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:01, Reply)
It's football, though.
I'm not that enthralled by it.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:50, Reply)
oh come on it's a derby game so it will be lively.
Who is dragging you and do you know which team they support?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:51, Reply)
Flatmate, who is a massive Arsenal fan.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:52, Reply)
Your flatmate is a gentleman and a scholar and I salute him.
If he is a she. I love her.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:53, Reply)
It's a he.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:54, Reply)
Is he ginger?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:55, Reply)
Nah, he's brunette.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:56, Reply)
Bob went out with a brunette a little while ago.
Put in a good word for him.

If he'll consider going ginger, then so much the better.

Regards,

JTDF
"Pimping out Internet strangers since 15.58pm"
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:58, Reply)
*She*
Has a penis!!!
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:00, Reply)
Your point being?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:01, Reply)
I want a lady not a tranny!
and it's his point being that concerns me!
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:04, Reply)
**sings**
If you're a lady,
Or a manny,
Or a granny,
Or a tranny,


Join Bobby!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:08, Reply)
This is just wrong
I will not have sex with a man with boobs.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:16, Reply)
I'll see what he says.
Probably a terrified scream.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:00, Reply)
scream with delight.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:02, Reply)
You don't see people with brown hair any more, I can't work out why, I don't think I've seen one outside of telly/internet/magazines in ages.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:08, Reply)
hahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:56, Reply)
So...
Is he sexy? And free?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:56, Reply)
No, and yes
besides, he's my housemate, that shit would be awkward.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:57, Reply)
Well
You can always blame it on the football.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:59, Reply)
But he's in no way attractive to me :/
He's a good looking boy, sometimes. But nooooo.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:08, Reply)
^ this is worth knowing
Just so, every time your friend comments on their playing, you can ask him, as innocently as possible, "Which colour are they playing in?"
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:53, Reply)
I'd probably do that anyway

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:53, Reply)
The other key questions are
"Who does he play for?" in response to him cursing the name of any particular player, and
"Is that offside then?" every time the whistle is blown for any sort of foul. Of course, as you say, you'll probably do this anyway.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:56, Reply)
I just don't give a fuck about football :D

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:58, Reply)
blasphemer

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:02, Reply)
To be fair.
I don't know much either. But I blame that on the team I support.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:10, Reply)
But you have to look at him as if you were silly
and then laugh loudly at your own stupidity.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:58, Reply)
Oh, absolutely
And then look suprrised when he looks visibly fed up with having to explain the offside rule for the 40th time in as many minutes.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:00, Reply)
And call him rude
for not being patient enough. And make a drama until he accepts buying you a drink as a way to apologise.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:02, Reply)
Sounds like someone's done this before...

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:33, Reply)
Are you looking at me?
How can you do that. You are SO rude. So, so rude. Look, look what you've done. You made me cry in the middle of the internet. Everybody can see me. Oh, you're so nasty. I feel like crying and shouting very loudly how bad and nasty you are. I'll start in a second, unless you buy me a drink.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:43, Reply)
Oh christ, stop, you're reminding me of an ex-girlfriend...
(Very effective tactic that one.)
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:46, Reply)
The ex-girlfriend tactic?
Everytime a guy tells me that, I get blank and stop talking to him.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:47, Reply)
Eh? No, I actually had a girlfriend who was like that once.
I meant the tactic of making a scene.
*sigh*
What would you like to drink?
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:49, Reply)
Sorry to hear that
She must have been a pain in the ass.

Some nice beer, I'll let you choose. No stout or porter. And hoppy if possible.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:53, Reply)
Oh, it was a few years ago now.
(And yes, yes she was, in hindsight.)

Speaking of nice beers, I shall have to make plans with you and markthebrewer in time for next January as it sounds like we narrowly missed one another at the Manchester Beer Festival this year.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:57, Reply)
We'll be in South America for the next one
But we should organise meeting at another one. He's celebrating his stag in the one in Birmingham. I imagine you could go too...
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:59, Reply)
You going to the game Bob
Or are you watching it on the telly?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:54, Reply)
Telly next game I am going to is
Arsenal V West ham on the 30th of October then Arsenal v Newcastle on the 7th of November.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:56, Reply)
This is one of the problems of being a season ticket holder for City.
I end up going to every home game, regardless of how shit it is.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:57, Reply)
I envy you mate
When I can afford it I will live in London and go as much as possible. I only get to go a handful of times a season so it's a rarity for me.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:58, Reply)
There is nothing to envy at The Gate at the moment.
We don't play your brand of football either.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:00, Reply)
I still like live football and Rovers are gash.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:01, Reply)
Get yourself down The Gate then!
Thanks to City being shit, the team we play will look brilliant, so you'll be able to marvel at just how good they are as they score a hatful of goals against us.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:03, Reply)

Might do if they get Meatloaf or Bon Jovi back, not watching that shower of bastards play football!
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:06, Reply)
Are you going with someone else
who doesn't like it much?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:51, Reply)
No, I'm going with a massive fan
which of course makes it worse.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:53, Reply)
Cheer up, I'm sure you can get in a punch up.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:55, Reply)
I'm going to punch you in the face come a month.
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:56, Reply)
you haven't threatened to punch me yet
what do I have to do besides insinuate you star in anal porn?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:12, Reply)
It's because I love you.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:13, Reply)
She doesn't want you on your guard

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:14, Reply)
Lampito's answer above
was the right response.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:15, Reply)

shutUP I don't want her to know
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:18, Reply)
I've had a bit of aggression going on today.
I'm going to watch the omgfootball tonight, my team is playing, I don't give a fuck what anyone else says.
This will make me happy happy.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:56, Reply)
And that makes you happy?
Strange...
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:57, Reply)
how is that strange? it doesn't make you happy to do things you enjoy?

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:00, Reply)
I don't like aggression
I'm a non-aggressive type. I hate confrontation.

But if it's made you happy, then that's good. Congratulations.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:03, Reply)
Being aggressive doesn't make me happy. Where does it say being aggressive makes me happy?

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:06, Reply)
"I've had a bit of aggression going on today"
Maybe I missunderstood it. Sorry.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:07, Reply)
Yeah, so I'm not happy. As it says, I'm going to watch the game, this will make me happy.

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:09, Reply)
Right
I don't know how, but I completely missed the second line on your post.

I need sleep.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:10, Reply)
less shopping
MORE sleeping!
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:20, Reply)
I'm going straight to bed as soon as I get home tonight
I can barely see the screen.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:38, Reply)
I think I'm aggressive because I haven't had much sleep in the last two weeks
my dad had a heart attack, was in hospital, my dog got sick and shit all over my room so everytime she farts I wake up
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:43, Reply)
I'm sorry to hear that
(more sorry about your dad than your dog)

I hope you dad has recovered and that your dog is not messing your carpet anymore.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:47, Reply)
It was my son's first birthday yesterday
so that makes me happy dad to little sportscalf II (cheers Monty!)

He has now worked out how to ride his rocking horse by standing on the saddle and shaking it violently. This also makes me happy!
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:59, Reply)
My nephew is 18 months old and can now play football
I am beginning to warm to the little goblin.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:01, Reply)
I've been teaching my 3 year old daughter how to play football outside
and she can now beat most of the other kids playing in the street - proud Dad!
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:07, Reply)
happy days
I did watch yesterday as he picked up the ball and volleyed it three or four times. I wasn't sure babies should be able to do that. I am already convinced he is the next, next, next, next Fabregas.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:09, Reply)
Or a rugby player. HeHe.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:43, Reply)
Congratulations
Aren't they great when they start to interact like people?

I don't understand what's so good about babies. Little kids (up to 7 years) are the best!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:04, Reply)
Yeah, little kids are cool
I told my daughter on Saturday that she talked too much

"But I'm a girl Daddy!"
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:07, Reply)
Hahaha
If I had thought of that when I was little!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:09, Reply)
I'm happy that the random money
given to me by a relative has gone to a good cause.

Alt Q: seeing some good gigs in lieu of birthday
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:04, Reply)
decided about Monster Magnet yet?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:08, Reply)
I almost bought one of those
Are they any good? Is there a place where I can get them cheap? I don't want to pay £10 for each.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:09, Reply)
Nope, forget it
It's not my brightest day today. I'm talking about something completely different. Sorry.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:11, Reply)
It's a thumbs up if there are still tickets
though I still have to sort accommodation for the night
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:10, Reply)
Woo! Glad for you!
I'm glad because it's only a few days until payday, woo!

Alt Q: Well, I'm hoping that Alex Ferguson will get a severe health issue that means he can never speak, nor communicate ever again.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:05, Reply)
Yey!
How is the sharing house thing going?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:08, Reply)
Non-existant yet
I'm moving back to my parents for a couple of months, build up some funds, move out again!
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:23, Reply)
Good luck with that
I don't think I could deal with 2 months at my parents'. I'm spending all of December there, and I'm fearing it so much.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:39, Reply)
I am on quite unprecedented form
however all this wittering on about football has deflated my joy somewhat.

1) it's only a game and an extremely shit one at that
2) people who say 'we' (excluding actual salaried players) should have their eyes put out
3) it's frightfully common
4) AAAARHGH SHUT UP ABOUT FUCKING FOOTBALL
5) same as 4, repeat ad infinitum
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:16, Reply)
Football
is the "sporting" equivalent of Big Brother. They are on the same intellectual plane.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:19, Reply)
Unfortunately not on the same physical plane
that was flown into the World Trade 'Center'.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:20, Reply)
football is ace
Sure it gets talked about far too much but it's still a brilliant game. And no it doesn't matter but it makes saturday afternoon's more interesting.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:22, Reply)
I'm with you Bob.
I mean, it's not like there are dedicated websites and forums specifically for football. So it's only right it gets discussed here.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:25, Reply)
"Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend."

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:29, Reply)
"warning, if you are of a sensitive disposition
and dislike being called a FUCKING CUNT by Monty Boyce, you may wish to consider not posting about football. Of course, it's your life..."
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:33, Reply)
Football is shit.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:31, Reply)
And also there's just SO MUCH to talk about!
Who 'we' are or are not 'buying', 'selling' or 'playing'; which places these simians will be placed on the field next time - and last time; the new PE kit these cunts are wearing - and the prices for which even thicker members of the public are charged for copies of them....

THE LIST IS ENDLESS.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:32, Reply)
So....
Are you going to the match on Saturday?
(Cave Duck, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:35, Reply)
Well - it all depends
whether 'we're' playing Foreignbenderoso or not. I really like his alice band. He's really cool.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:40, Reply)
Don't see the point in going that far into it
Did Liverpool win? Yes/No

For the hour after the match, that will mildly affect my mood. After that, I don't give one. It's just a game at the end of the day.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:45, Reply)
Not really
But should I assume you've made your mind up that only idiots would dare to watch and enjoy football?
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:24, Reply)
Not necessarily
It's possible that there are some intellectual giants out there that enjoy watching Big Brother. I'm yet to meet any, but I remain open-minded. Hopeful, even. The programme, however, is idiotic.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:28, Reply)
Big Brother is shite, I agree
But I'm still unsure why everyone here has such a low opinion of football.

With Monty, it's understandable, he hates everything. But it seems that the mass majority seem utterly against it's discussion, and I'm just not sure why.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:31, Reply)
Some people don't like some stuff that other people like.
It's almost as though it's the same as everything else.

I quite like rugby, incidentally. I'm quite sure that people that enjoy other forms of sport will mock me for being a posh buggery enthusiast. I'm not posh, by the way.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:33, Reply)
It's because it's boring
It's more interesting to men than women (in general) and sad to say the stereotype is well earned. I know intelligent people who like football but they're generally on 'casual like' end rather than the 'discuss it all the time' end.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:36, Reply)
this may garner me no end of abuse
but I watched almost all of the recent series of Big Brother. I find it fascinating watching the cretins get themselves worked up and paranoid over ridiculous things.

Also, occasional breasts.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:36, Reply)
I saw the housemates being picked

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:37, Reply)
A few seasons ago
a fatty put a wine bottle up her chuff.

This is the extent of my exposure to Endemol's magnum opus.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:37, Reply)
I was unaware of that
the crop of people on the recent one were far less freakish than in previous years.

I really did find it fascinating. I'm embarrassed about it though, don't worry.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:38, Reply)
I saw some of the earlier bits
because I was awake all night and often worked in the common room with the TV on

A quick search yields this b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post750840
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:39, Reply)
you should have placed a bet

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:41, Reply)
Probably should've
she was just too 'nice' not to win. And I agree with your point above. Far fewer freaks this year
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:42, Reply)

A social experiment of putting random strangers in the position of having to live together, cut off from the outside world and observing their behaviour is quite interesting.
Unfortunately people who are desperate to be on telly are precisely the type that should not be allowed on.
(Cave Duck, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:44, Reply)
If they could have been turned to cannibalism
and the whole thing was more 'Lord of the Flies' rather than 'Lord of the Gays' I might be interested.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:46, Reply)
On the other hand
Big Brother is very useful for conversation with people who are the type of people who watch it. I once lasted two hours in the company of someone like that on the strength of one idly read article on msn (back when there were twins on it)
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:48, Reply)
I have an alternative conversation idea
for the type of people who watch it. More a Q&A kind of thing:

'Why don't you fuck off?', that sort of 'vibe'.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:53, Reply)
I used to live with a woman too, Vippers
*sympathises*
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:45, Reply)
I've made my mind up
that pretty much every person on earth is an idiot.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:34, Reply)
I don't know whether you're a ruder version of myself
or if I'm a more polite version of you. My ego says the former.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:36, Reply)
You're wise.
Wise, and correct.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:39, Reply)
Socratic, aren't I?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:41, Reply)
People are very surprised when they realise how misanthropic I am.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:43, Reply)
Oddly enough, my driving instructor taught me the same thing.
"Treat everybody else on the road as though they're an idiot," he told me. I presumed this was supposed to be in reference to reacting to whatever they might do whilst driving in the same vicinity as you, but I've adopted as a general rule for life.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:41, Reply)
I'm not an idiot
There you are, being rude again. AGAIN making me cry. Oh, I don't know how to deal with it, you should buy me a drink now.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:45, Reply)
Steady on, you'll be absolutely smashed by 5 o'clock.
Please don't cry people will start staring...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:47, Reply)
That gives me 10 min to get drunk
Counting with the lack of sleep, I think that's 5 too many.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:48, Reply)
I'm really upset too.
Large cognac, old boy. You know it's only right.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:48, Reply)
Does this mean I'm going to have to buy you a drink every time some sod mentions football?

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:50, Reply)
You just mentioned it yourself.
I'll have a pint with that.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:50, Reply)
Arse.

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:52, Reply)
No, not a pint of arse.
You're not in one of your 'special' nightclubs now.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:55, Reply)
Are you sure?
I can get each cheek into a pint glass, it's quite impressive to watch...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:02, Reply)
I take a very dim view of such activities, young man.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:07, Reply)
How was your Arse, in the end?

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:10, Reply)
I bet he'll give you VSOP, just to piss you off.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:50, Reply)
That sounds like the sort of thing he'd do.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:52, Reply)
Like the FIEND I am! Haha!
*laughs maniaclly whilst twirling moustache*
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:53, Reply)
MONTY POP QUIZ:
What DOES he drink?
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:54, Reply)
Cognac.

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:59, Reply)
XO, to be precise.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:59, Reply)
Must admit, I didn't know that.

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:01, Reply)
Whenever possible:
www.thewhiskyexchange.com/P-1733.aspx

There are better ones out there but this is my staple
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:02, Reply)
Bloody hell
I remember I promised I'd buy you a bottle for punching you (or suchlike) but I don't love you THAT much.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:10, Reply)
Yes you do. Think about it.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:12, Reply)
...What do I get out of it?

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:14, Reply)
schlong

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:17, Reply)
Monty Schlong?
Urgh.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:18, Reply)
you say that
but you are secreting lubricant at the mere thought
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:19, Reply)
...remember, I don't fancy Monty.
in his words- THANK GOD
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:20, Reply)
Is that a tall glass of schloer?

(Cave Duck, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:20, Reply)
I see how you might think that.
whatever helps you choke it down
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:22, Reply)
I'll have a go on some of that
thanks for the invite, I'll be over by about 8.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:15, Reply)
The dozy bugger.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:54, Reply)
He'll get you drunk
and then he'll do bad things to you. Be careful of the crow.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:54, Reply)
I have the constitution of an ox.
He'd be blubbing into his pondwater before I'd even started warming up.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:58, Reply)
But he'll be drinking water
and giving you absinte. Don't you know the trick?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:01, Reply)
He'd still spin out before me.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:02, Reply)
LIES!
The cat was sober, it was me that was pissed...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:58, Reply)
Tell that to the poor traumatised criature
No wonder he was so quiet next day.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:00, Reply)
Oh Monty Monty Monty.
Sit down, have a cup of tea, and calm down. You'll feel better.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:21, Reply)
No I won't.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:36, Reply)
Ok, you won't.
But it was worth a try.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:36, Reply)
How about a cup of drugs?

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:40, Reply)
Sticky brown or white?

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:45, Reply)
Drugs, not rice, you imbecile.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:49, Reply)

have a cup of tea, and calm down. You'll feel better and shut the fuck up, you old queen. Just because you were bullied by the rugby boys, there is no need to hate all sports.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:44, Reply)
I was fucking well not.
I was bigger than most of them by the age of 12. The bottom-whipping shower-sharing chutnoids.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:50, Reply)
I only just started watching [american] football
My lesbian roomdooms made me watch a game so I asked them a thousand questions in hopes they'd tell me to go on somewhere else but no, they just answered them patiently and then made me pick a team.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:22, Reply)
who is your team?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:36, Reply)
ATL Falcons

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:39, Reply)
not one of the few I know a small amount about
that puts an end to that conversation
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:41, Reply)
not necessarily
who do you know about?
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:44, Reply)
I tended to favour the Patriots
it's been a while though. A mate at uni played, briefly for our national team until he repeatedly dislocated his shoulders, but got me interested in it to some extent.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:59, Reply)
It's good to have you back Monty.
Yesterday was just weird.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:23, Reply)
I like football.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:34, Reply)
More or less than breasts?

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:36, Reply)
It depends on the breasts and the football.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:37, Reply)
What would you say to breasts that resembled footballs?

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:39, Reply)
I'd be speechless.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:41, Reply)
*taps nose*
Lolo Ferrari.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:43, Reply)
Careful your septum doesn't fall out.
Lola Ferrari really looked hideous, didn't she?
What did she die of?
(Cave Duck, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:47, Reply)
Stupidity, I think.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:51, Reply)
Drugs and/or suffocation
possibly at the hands of her exceedingly creepy husband.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:11, Reply)
what
white with random black patches? sounds like physical assault to me.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:47, Reply)
PANDA TITS

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:01, Reply)
Jabulanis

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:16, Reply)
I like football too
But I prefer 125cc motorbikes, and they don't show them here, in England (as far as I know, and on the free chanels)

I watched the 500cc yesterday and it was very good.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:40, Reply)
How about 500cc breasts?

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:41, Reply)
They'd be massive
I don't think they'd be nice. Too fast, as well, I don't think you'd have time to catch them.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:44, Reply)
500cc is awesome

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:47, Reply)
But 125 is better
Ok, it's not as fast, but it's so much more exciting!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:50, Reply)
I'm in a car on the M4 with two b3tans.
We have been in Somerset, totally doing nature, hard, with other mentallers.
/happies
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:40, Reply)
That sounds fucking shit.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:43, Reply)
I know differently, you soppy cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:47, Reply)
how much abuse am I in for?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:14, Reply)
What you done/not done?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:24, Reply)
car wouldn't start
couldn't meet clenders and TGB and Lab and others yesterday
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:49, Reply)
FAIL!

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 18:58, Reply)
Nothing
You are dead to us now.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:48, Reply)
:-(

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:49, Reply)
give em each a croissant it will sort itself out

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 18:21, Reply)
Yet ANOTHER social occasion that I couldn't make that I wasn't invited too
=(
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:09, Reply)
Sushi soon.
Reply to my gaz, you slag.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:47, Reply)
I'm happy because it's time to go home
See you tomorrow.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:02, Reply)

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