it is a hand held massager
john lewis said "let us choose the colour for you" and it could have been blue or pink or green. i had a 1/3 shot.

dammit.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:41, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Not a 'personal' massager
with 4 heads?

Surely not.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:42, Reply)

i don't know
i haven't opened the box. i assumed it was for your thighs, as in quadriceps.

christ, what have i bought?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:46, Reply)

You might find it useful
regardless of colour.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:52, Reply)

BUT IT WON'T MATCH
keep up
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:54, Reply)

Close your eyes...

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:56, Reply)

Send it back.
Or order 3 of them, you'll get one of each and then send back the ones you don't want.

I suppose blue would have been okay as it would have matched the ball. But Green? You must be suicidal. I know I would be. Green? What the fuck were they thinking eh?

I think it's some sort of sick joke.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:43, Reply)

are you wearing aftershave "properly"?
if so, can i bury my head in that bit where your neck meets your shoulder to console myself?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:47, Reply)

How much WKD have you drunk?
Are you likely to be sick?

(Actually, I am wearing aftershave. Lacoste red)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:52, Reply)

urgh
too sweet. just give me the vodka, freezing cold, on the rocks. ta.

aftershave sounds nice though.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:53, Reply)

Lacoste Red
will be changed soon. 'Tis a very summery aftershave. I need something more autumnal.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:05, Reply)

ralph lauren romance for men
or chanel allure pour homme are both pretty much guaranteed to inspire orgasms at fifty paces
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:12, Reply)

Whilst bringing someone off from fifty paces sounds brilliant.
I fear I'd see no real benefit in it.

What is is it for me? Other than leaving a trail of wet-women in my wake? Surely the best aftershave would be the one that enabled the wearer to inspire an orgasm from under the sheets, in the car or near a kennel.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:16, Reply)

you sound cynical
but i bet you check them both out in boots nonetheless!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:21, Reply)

boots or trainers. What I have on my feet won't decide the purchase.
Have I missed the point again?

(But yes, I will check them both out).
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:23, Reply)

I read that as lactose red
and I was like "what the fuck is red milk"
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:55, Reply)

Well, round these parts
red tops denote the kind of milk that contains no actual milk (i.e. skimmed).
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:01, Reply)

That would be a milkshake yes?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:05, Reply)