Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
Boooored with that last thread.Where is the shittest place you have ever visited?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:10,
294 replies,
latest was 15 years ago)
You're only saying thatbecause they refused you entry because they 'don't serve benders'.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:12,
Reply)
Tayabbs don't serve benders?That's illegal, I'll get them shut down.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:14, Reply)
The Bender is a cocktail containing small quantities of lysergic acid diethylamine and psilocibinand huge quantities of good old Charlie. The name refers to the effects on the central nervous system. You need a special license to sell it and most places don't bother. It's not illegal at all.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:18, Reply)
This is a cracking answer!(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:22,
Reply)
They do really.They just told you that as an excuse not to admit you.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:23,
Reply)
I didn't like Parisor Rome. Both looked worst than what I was told, were terribly expensive and people wasn't nice.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:12, Reply)
Having said thatI had to spend a couple of nights in Cleethorpes, and everybody had told me it would be awful. I must have been lucky, because I had two very sunny days and could walk along the beach after work before going for dinner. Not too bad at all.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:13, Reply)
I went there once and it was nice!Unexpected
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:14,
Reply)
I knowQuite prety. I think all the people who told me it'd be awful were Blackpool lovers, so that explains a bit.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:17, Reply)
It's better than Blackpool by a country mile.Blackpool's a shitty place. Full of the dregs of humanity.
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:23,
Reply)
I go to Blackpool twice a year for Ballroom competitionsand yes, it is
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:27, Reply)
I hate the placeand the parents teaching their kids how to play the money machines.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:44, Reply)
How else are they going to make money before they can get pregnant and scrounge off the state?(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:45, Reply)
I suppose so..I'd imagine they could do some work, but that'd be wrong.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:51, Reply)
I worked in Paris for a few months and had a great time. Parisians can be a bunch of arseholes though.(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:17, Reply)
That's the main reason why I didn't like itthey made my last 2 days there a Hell.
And 6€ for a coffee? Why? Has it got gold on it?
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:22, Reply)
Yes, laughNext time, if I must go, I'm taking my own coffee with me.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:29, Reply)
I was lucky as I was on expenses so didn't have to worry too much about cash (I miss my company credit card more than my deceased grandmother)(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:26, Reply)
Oh, it's so good to be on expensesI was like that in Sweeden last year. It was heaven (I wasn't too happy when I came back and realise how much weight I had put on)
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:30, Reply)
The best thing about a company credit card was the points I earned.I travelled a lot and all my flights etc when on the card. I got enough Amex points for a digital camera, a portable TV and about 3 cases of wine. (First Class long haul flights aren't cheap).
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:33, Reply)
I travelled too muchand spent them all in hotels already. But it was good fun.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:52, Reply)
You've never been inside.Didn't want you stinking up the place.
(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:17,
Reply)
she's knocked on a few times with the Badger Newsletterkind of like the Watchtower.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:25,
Reply)
Kilmarnock and HailshamThey both shut at 5.30pm, all of it! Complete pain in the cunt when you've driven for fucking hours and want a beer/curry
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:13,
Reply)
Coventryis an utter pile of dog shit.
(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:14,
Reply)
I was speechless driving through itThe only place as awful in England that I have witnessed is Tottenham. You can walk down seven sisters road from the old Highbury stadium towards the Lane and just watch it get shittier.
(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:17,
Reply)
Yeah, but you would say that, wouldn't youWhereas my dislike of Derby is based entirely on research and facts as opposed to blind, viriolic hatred
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:20, Reply)
I think you're a little racist(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:20,
Reply)
knew you wouldn't let me down. Right my day is done.Be good!
(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:26,
Reply)
Good curry houses in Derby!(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:23,
Reply)
"I believe I'll have the sheep dopiaza, please"Did the permanent, cloying stench of sheep-shit, desperation and futility not put you off your food?
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:26, Reply)
I had the extreme misfortuneto spend four years of my life in Stockton-on-Tees, a place which eclipses even nearby Middlesbrough for pure unsullied shitness. It is a boil on the festering arsehole of the world, quite frankly.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:15, Reply)
It has the widest high st in England, apparantely(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:37,
Reply)
Hate to say it...Well, no, I don't.
London. I have hated it every single time. Comes of being forcibly dragged around the boring grey shithole when I was a kid. Even now it summons up memories of deprivation, shit food, traffic congestion and endless endless walking punctuated by endless, endless waiting, at the end of which you get to go to the Millenium Dome or something. Woot.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:15, Reply)
I don't mind London for a weekendI couldn't live there though. The thought of having to comute to the centre every day next year makes me sudder.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:19, Reply)
The thought of ever having to go there again for any reason whatsoevermakes me shudder. Clearly I am tired of life, but then I don't think Dr Johnson ever had to go on the Underground.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:22, Reply)
I'm ok for short visitsTwo weekends ago I had to go from Euston to Waterloo to change trains on my way to Woking. It was rush hour and it took me a whole hour to do it, being pushed and pulled by a sea of people. And I'll have to do it next year every day, quite possibly. I think I'll be getting into the office at 6am and leaving at 4pm, to avoid the people.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:24, Reply)
The very notion makes me vomit molten bronze in revulsion.I will admit that my hatred of London is basically unthinking prejudice. I'm going to keep it though. You have my sympathies.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:28, Reply)
Thank youI wouldn't mind it if it wasn't for the stupid amount of people living there. They like feeling like sardines, and I love my personal space.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:31, Reply)
disneyworldor just florida in general
it's all well shit
(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:16,
Reply)
DisneyWorld is fucking BRILLIANTFlorida I liked but have no basis for comparison in terms of the rest of America. Many of your fellow countrymen have assured me that compared to the other 49 states it's a bit crap.
Maybe not Utah
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:19, Reply)
lets see, maybe if I weren't stuck on a bus for 17 hours with a load of idiots, maybe if I weren't 18, maybe if it weren't a school tripwho knows
MAYBE I would like it
I'd like to visit Utah. Maybe I could pick up a husband and a few sister-wives
you think they get kinky-like down with some foursome action? or is that totally out of the question?
(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:21,
Reply)
I'm led to believe that kinkiness is to Utah as masturbation is to staying in a Bracknell hotel with free pornIn that there is absolutely FUCK ALL else to do there
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:23, Reply)
whatever man, they totally farm and make clothes and shitanyway, you should probably visit DC, they've a huge gay thing going on there
you and your hair will fit right in
apologies, I'm on the bitter bus today
(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:24,
Reply)
That really wasn't as bad as what I'm used to on hereVery sweet of you to apologise. My hair's not that gay at the moment. Really short all over. I'm working on it, don't worry.
I thought Frisco was the gay capital of America?
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:28, Reply)
I don't think so? I've no idea.Still, DC is pretty damned gay.
My hair is short all over too. I chopped it off last night.
Still, I'm quite jealous of yours. Sometimes I wish I were a boy.
(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:32,
Reply)
I might print and frame that responseBut if you were a boy you'd have to give up BREASTS
/end obviousness
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:35, Reply)
I quite like my breasts.I just wish I could pull off the hair.
*sits with chin in hands*
*looks at you in awe*
how do you doooooo it?
(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:40,
Reply)
Is there a particular picture on my profile that inspires such unlikely awe?I can probably remember the degree of construction that went into it. Although the answer in any case is almost certainly "mousse, straighteners, hairspray and the patience of the immortals"
Tell you what, you can play with my hait if I can... no, it's too easy, I can't say it
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:47, Reply)
ya know, the one where it's all blonde and mohawk and hawtman I wish I could do my hair like that
I just figured out how to jersey up my hair but I went and chopped it all off
(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:51,
Reply)
POIDHAh yes, I really did love that particular haircut. Took fucking AGES every morning. Worth it for that kind of lovely comment from GIRLS though :-)
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:58, Reply)
tuggin in the mornintuggin in the evenin
tuggin at suppertime
if i had a penis
i could tug it anytime
(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:55,
Reply)
They're Mormons,so any form of homosexuality is EVIL and WRONG and THE DEVIL. You'll just have to stick with the incest and borderline paedophilia to get your jollies.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:24, Reply)
Nonetheless, they sell more porn in Utah than anywhere else in the USA.I can't possibly imagine what would cause this dichotomy.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:25, Reply)
Florida is truly awful.It's full of fat fucks (of all nationalities); retired yentas from New Jersey; American frat wankers loudly getting 'wasted' on a six pack; and dying children whose last wish was to take their chav parents on a holiday to see Micky Mouse.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:32, Reply)
Derby, obviouslyAlso Bradford, despite repeated requests for them to hold the fucking festival anywhere else I keep going back there every August bank holiday weekend.
Oh, and Scotland
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:17, Reply)
Just a wild stab in the dark about where you had been that made you hate Scotland.Ever been to Edinburgh? The fact that it's a city of universities shows, the same way that Glasgow is an industrial city shows.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:24, Reply)
My gf's family are from Edinburgh - I love it up there. We've discussed moving there.(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:28, Reply)
Oh god no, we don't want *your* sort.Actually I'm not sure what sort you are, so you have my provisional acceptance until further notice.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:32, Reply)
Her family are "old Edinburgh" - quite posh & go back generations. I relax more in Edinburgh than anywhere else for some reason.(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:41, Reply)
Hmm. Curses.Mine only go back slightly longer than my own lifetime. I may be outvoted.
As for the relaxing thing, I blame the infestations of parks and hills and green spaces.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:49, Reply)
and the 80 shilling, and lunch out in Gullane and the french restaurant I mentioned this morning.(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:56, Reply)
Aberdeen's much nicer than GlasgowCumbernauld is the arsehole of the central belt. It's really awful. Like Swindon, but worse.
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:24,
Reply)
You don't like anywhere in Scotland?But the Highlands are so prety! How can you not like it?!
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:20, Reply)
Most of LA is crap.As are Detroit, Philadelphia and a lot of Washington DC.
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:25,
Reply)
New York is a shit hole too,but it's a very fun and charming shit hole.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:28, Reply)
At least Manhattan's worth seeing thoughEven if it now has a gaping hole in the south end.
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:29,
Reply)
The centre is unkemptand the suburbs are downright dangerous.
I maintain my viewpoint.
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:39,
Reply)
My father says LA is the worst place he has ever been.And he lived in Leeds for a bit.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:35,
Reply)
NorthamptonThere's fuck all there. We asked for directions to tourist information and there wasn't one because there's fuck all there. Hotel was cheap though.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:18,
Reply)
Where you therevisiting Northampton or was it a stop going somewhere else?
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:20, Reply)
Wiggy and I got some vouchers for a cheap long weekend hotel stayand it was in Northampton so we were there for the weekend. It was pretty and scenic and stuff but there's fuck all to do. We had to talk and stuff, it was awful!
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:29,
Reply)
BuffA whole weekend talking with your bf. I imagine you had something to do between sex and sex... so bad. I don't think I'll be visiting.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:32, Reply)
Ha Monty, please read the following, It's the code of conduct for posting on TeamTalks comment pageCode of conduct: Before submitting your message, make sure it is...
Clear, in English and in lower case.
Clean, with no swearing, racism or strong political views.
Free of any sort of abuse, particularly towards fellow posters. We will not tolerate bullying - please remember not to over-react if someone has a different view to you.
Who's up for adopting a similar policy on OT?
(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:19,
Reply)
Thank you Chompythat is a perfect example of what constitutes a 'no no'
Would anyone else in the class like to try and suggest another?
(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:22,
Reply)
reinforce it?When was it enforced?
(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:25,
Reply)
NO ONEFUCK OFF you masive cunt u dont no nufkin bout wat were about. YOU ARE A massive SHITHEAD
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:22,
Reply)
FUCK OFF you masive cunt u dont no nufkin bout wat were about. YOU ARE A massive SHITHEAD
I love you Bob x
(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:23,
Reply)
This can only go down really well...*clears throat* FUCK OFF WITH YER RULES, YER FLAMING BELL END!
(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:24,
Reply)
Cleethorpes, what a dump.Caught flue, and got electrocuted.
I'm never going back.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:21,
Reply)
No, you received an electric shockUnless you're posting from beyond the grave?
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:26,
Reply)
Oh yeah.And I was zapped in Grimsby, next door.
Cleethorpes is still shit though.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:28,
Reply)
Grimsby at least has a good chippycalled Steel's.
Or at least it did about 15 years ago, when I was there last.
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:29,
Reply)
Probably still using the same oil.(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:32,
Reply)
YeahThey skim it off the surface of the Humber estuary.
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:34,
Reply)
Feckin' Nottingham.And I had to go there twice in the space of a month. You know those programmes, they're called "TWIGHLIGHT POLICE!" or "OMG COPS AT NIGHT!!ONE!" or "DRINK AND DRUGS AND ALCOHOL AND KNIFECRIME AND POLICE!!!!!1ELEVEN!!" - they are basically highlights shows of Nottingham's best bits.
Nottingham makes Wakefield (where I lived for 5 years) look like the fucking South of France.
(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:22,
Reply)
POLICE!the show (including exclamation mark) was filmed in Milton Keynes.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:24, Reply)
i'd have thoughtmilton keynes was the default answer for most people for this question. although i've only been to the train station, it's pretty heinous. square yellow tiles? it's not 1972.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:26,
Reply)
Listen, I wouldn't usually do this, but can I get an autograph?It's not for me, it's for my friend. Just put "To my biggest fan, I am glad we are now best friends, do you still want to hang out and play XBox on Friday? Love Chompy x x x x x"
(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:27,
Reply)
I will never wash my breasts again!(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:33,
Reply)
My breasts which are, of course, large and firm, and sexually liberated.(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:33,
Reply)
My god, what a fucking abortion.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:40,
Reply)
My strikethrough.Hiya!
(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:46,
Reply)
i still think my suggestionwas more appropriate...
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:55,
Reply)
Nottingham is an enormously fun cityYou just have to know where not to go. It's like any other town in that respect. The main difference is that is the worst parts of Nottingham, rather than risking a good mugging, you will definitely be murdered
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:24, Reply)
I know full well not to go in Nottingham.Basically: all of it. And the hotel room I stayed in had clearly had a murder/seriously foul sexual practice committed in it.
They did have a good rock bar though.
(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:26,
Reply)
i've gota weekend with 15 girlfriends from school there in a fortnight. anywhere you'd recommend to go drinking??
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:27,
Reply)
I always say "Nottingham Rock City" as it's where I grew upThe Reflex there is particularly good if it's nostalgia you're after, which it sounds like you might be. Otherwise there's a pub a little way out of town called the Pitcher & Piano which is a converted church, it's fucking brilliant.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:37, Reply)
excellent, thank you!i shall google both.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:39,
Reply)
Isn't there a pub that's carved into the city wall or summat like that?(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:43, Reply)
Prepare to be assaulted by idiot stag parties and rivers of bacardi breezer vomit.(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:28,
Reply)
Depends what you want in a city break, I suppose.Try somewhere like Bath. Bath is lovely.
(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:37,
Reply)
I knowI have to go. I wish I had some time. I fear it won't be before the honeymoon.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:47, Reply)
bootle is pretty shitso is bromley-by-bow, where i lived as a student.
the inside of an easyjet plane. never ever again, no, not even if i have to pay ten times the cost to fly with someone else.
on the other hand, i want to go to paris and to new york. i can't believe i have never been to either. epic fail.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:24,
Reply)
EasyJet's not too badIt's Ryanair that I refuse to use.
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:27,
Reply)
easyjet was horrendousby the time i looked up from duty free, every other fecker had killed themselves scrambling on. i got the very last seat, which was sandwiched between the most racist fundamentalist zionist couple i've ever had the misfortune to encounter, who spent the 2 hours to madeira telling me that muslims were out to kill the world. i felt like turning my napkin into a burkha in protest (plus i look better that way).
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:29,
Reply)
So, your problem was that the people you were sitting next to were arsesand that's down to Easyjet how?
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:30,
Reply)
there were other reasonsthe plane was uncomfortable and orange etc, but mainly it was full of reeking plebs and it was because there were no allocated seats that i got stuck with the racist arseholes from hell and not with my friends!
well, that and my own obsession with spending £££££££'s in duty free before i've even left the airport.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:33,
Reply)
No allocated seats isn't a problem if you even vaguely pay attention to boarding, Miss Swipe ;)(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:36,
Reply)
yeah'cause i'm going to pay attention to some man with a tannoy when there is chanel and jo malone to be had!
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:40,
Reply)
I don't even own a Jo malone.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:43,
Reply)
I don't even own an it.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:47,
Reply)
Not necessarilyThey charge another fiver for 'priority boarding', which means you are in the first of the unruly mobs to get on the plane. And if you've not checked in early, you're last on board. So it's a fist fight for the best of the remaining seats.
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:40,
Reply)
check in online.always in the second boarding group then. besides, a seat is a seat and it's not like knowing which seat you are in prevents you getting the arsehole from hell sitting next to you..
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:43,
Reply)
I spend the fiver and then reserve a seat for whoever I am travelling with. I get a lot of dark looks for this but couldn't care less.(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:51, Reply)
I've only ever flown Edinburgh to "London" with EasyJetand once to Munich. It's not pleasant, and I do now use proper airlines if possible, but at least they don't charge you to breathe like O'Leary's lot.
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:31,
Reply)
I still maintain the planes are nicer for short haul than, say, BAssame legroom, cleaner, and newer. Over 2 hours - no chance - but frankly you won't catch me in economy over 2 hours if I can possibly help it.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:33,
Reply)
I don't turn right when I go on flights of more than 4 hours. Upstairs (business) or left (first) for me.spoilt from when I used to travel for work a lot.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:52, Reply)
i've heard ryanair is worsei'd rather walk than fly with that shower of shite
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:34,
Reply)
Easyjet is pretty goodMore space than most companies, as much handluggage as you want, 32kg of hold luggage... it's very good. Ryanair and Monarch give you less space. In my last flight to Tenerife I went with Monarch and decided not to do it again. 4 and a half hours with my knees on my throat. FFS
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:27, Reply)
oh god this!We went with Monarch last week and my knees touched the seat in front and I couldn't cross my legs.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:31,
Reply)
I've never been in an economy class airline seatwhere I could cross my legs.
And I hate being crammed in by the selfish bastard in front who insists on reclining his seat fully as soon as the seat belt signs are off. I make a point of being unsettled and banging my knees into his seat back...
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:33,
Reply)
Oh you're one of those are you... some of us have back problems and have to move the seat.(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:53, Reply)
I have back problems tooI'm just more considerate!
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:56,
Reply)
We flew with Monarch tooZero legroom for Lab = grumpy Lab upon landing.
(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:33,
Reply)
YepNo more Monarch for me. Well, no, I'm going to Malaga with them, and that's it.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:36, Reply)
I know, it's awfulImagine Mark, who's a lot taller than me! I'm not going with them anymore. I wouldn't mind for a short flight, but almost 5h!
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:35, Reply)
Haha, I ended up on a Thompson plane last year skiingI don't actually fit in their seats, and I'm not even vaguely fat.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:35,
Reply)
BADGER!Kitty is being mean to me :(
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:36,
Reply)
stick some sand on her pole, then.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:37,
Reply)
AWWWWWBADGER THEY HATE YOU TOO. lET'S BAND TOGETEHR AND DESTROY THEM
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:56,
Reply)
I couldn't find a picture of your face anywhereI started working with a honey badger as I think that's the kind of badger you would be, but then I saw this and went all squeeee.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:58,
Reply)
Yes, that's true tooand with Monarch as well. I hate them, can you tell?
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:37, Reply)
What on earth have you got against EasyJet planes?They are perfectly pleasant places to be. Ryanair, yeah, I could see your point. But Easyjet planes are newer, cleaner and more comfortable than most of BA's ageing shorthaul fleet. My only major objection is that they don't fly to London City or LHR.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:30,
Reply)
I've got nothing against EasyJetIf you balance what it costs to fly with them against other carriers, the bad bits don't matter that much. Seeing as it's short-haul I can cope with a lack of leg room for a couple of hours.
As long as they don't crash, I'm quite happy.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:34,
Reply)
you'll love thislots of new fitness stuff just arrived today.
my quad massager........ has arrived in GREEN not PINK.
this doesn't match my kit or my ball or anything! do something!!!
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:37,
Reply)
*there there*WTF is a quad massager?
Did you order it in pink?
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:39,
Reply)
it is a hand held massagerjohn lewis said "let us choose the colour for you" and it could have been blue or pink or green. i had a 1/3 shot.
dammit.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:41,
Reply)
Not a 'personal' massagerwith 4 heads?
Surely not.
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:42,
Reply)
i don't knowi haven't opened the box. i assumed it was for your thighs, as in quadriceps.
christ, what have i bought?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:46,
Reply)
You might find it usefulregardless of colour.
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:52,
Reply)
Send it back.Or order 3 of them, you'll get one of each and then send back the ones you don't want.
I suppose blue would have been okay as it would have matched the ball. But Green? You must be suicidal. I know I would be. Green? What the fuck were they thinking eh?
I think it's some sort of sick joke.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:43,
Reply)
are you wearing aftershave "properly"?if so, can i bury my head in that bit where your neck meets your shoulder to console myself?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:47,
Reply)
How much WKD have you drunk?Are you likely to be sick?
(Actually, I am wearing aftershave. Lacoste red)
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:52,
Reply)
urghtoo sweet. just give me the vodka, freezing cold, on the rocks. ta.
aftershave sounds nice though.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:53,
Reply)
Lacoste Redwill be changed soon. 'Tis a very summery aftershave. I need something more autumnal.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:05,
Reply)
ralph lauren romance for menor chanel allure pour homme are both pretty much guaranteed to inspire orgasms at fifty paces
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:12,
Reply)
Whilst bringing someone off from fifty paces sounds brilliant.I fear I'd see no real benefit in it.
What is is it for me? Other than leaving a trail of wet-women in my wake? Surely the best aftershave would be the one that enabled the wearer to inspire an orgasm from under the sheets, in the car or near a kennel.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:16,
Reply)
you sound cynicalbut i bet you check them both out in boots nonetheless!
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:21,
Reply)
boots or trainers. What I have on my feet won't decide the purchase.Have I missed the point again?
(But yes, I will check them both out).
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:23,
Reply)
I read that as lactose redand I was like "what the fuck is red milk"
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:55,
Reply)
Well, round these partsred tops denote the kind of milk that contains no actual milk (i.e. skimmed).
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:01, Reply)
I'll take you up the 'Champs Elysee' if you like?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:40,
Reply)
so long as you don't make merue de la paix that sounds good to me
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:42,
Reply)
charming lad though you areyou do lack the final touch of subtlety that monty's seduction skills possess
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:46,
Reply)
The sooner you realise there's not a man on earthwho can match my wit, charm and all-round decadent elegance, the better.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:56,
Reply)
Fortunatelythere is a man from the stars who can. Let's hope he falls to Earth sometime soon.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:03, Reply)
Hopefully he'll fall straight into an active volcanothus sparing us the horror of permitting the children to 'boogie'.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:05,
Reply)
i'll give you the first twothe third, i think you meant elegant decadence?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:04,
Reply)
Maybe I do.I fear I am slightly stronger at my decadence than my elegance.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:06,
Reply)
what, me and monty?[deleted for vulgarity of content]
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:13,
Reply)
Actually, coming simultaneously while holding hands sounds more romantic than vulgar to me.And also cheesy as all hell (the kind of people who'd do that would probably be gazing lovingly into each other's eyes at the time), but meh.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:16, Reply)
oh i agreeit wasn't that bit that i deleted.
it was worse than that, think about replacing each of your word "hand" with a different body part. that sort of crudity.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:20,
Reply)
The very best kind available.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:28,
Reply)
Have you and Monty ever actually met eye-are-ell?Actually I think I know the answer to that one, because given the outrageously flirty nature of your posts on each other, the resulting sexplosion would register on the Richter scale.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:30, Reply)
normallywhat happens online doesn't translate IRL.
but with monty...
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:40,
Reply)
Well, if it didn't, you'd be letting the side down something rotten.(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 18:26, Reply)
Gibraltar.It's like Filey with chimpanzees.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:32,
Reply)
I don't recallseeing many Jewish shopkeepers in Filey.
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:35,
Reply)
Morecambe was looking sadly shabby when I went there a few years ago.Though isn't there that that they've recently refurbished an art deco style hotel?
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:39, Reply)
This is very very latebut yes, they have. It's quite snazzy in there, I believe.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 22:14, Reply)
I like Waterford.There is a cracking indian restaurant there.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:44,
Reply)
India.If anyone says it is 'really interesting', ' an eye opening experience', 'colourful' or 'enlightening ' just shoot the fuckers in the teeth. It smells, is unhygenic, overly bureaucratic and the vast majority of people who I came into contact with were either beggars or pompous cunts.
Even worse were all the dreadlocked, white, middle-class eurotrash who pollute the Goa with their 'cosmic' bullshit and odious hippy bollocks.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:41, Reply)
"Next week I will be visiting The National Tank Museum......and Jeremy will be in the Isle of Domestos."
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:18, Reply)
I must either be too laid back or forgetfulbut I've never been anywhere shit enough for it to be memorable.
(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:42,
Reply)
Ah, the 404 page.Couldn't wait to get out of there.
(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:44,
Reply)
Weeaak.Try harder, or I'll send the Bumming Squad round your house.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:50, Reply)
Then you haven't got a thing to get violently torn from your body and/or stained with all manner of unlikely substances.It's probably for the best.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:59, Reply)
A few pointsa) I resent being referred to as a squad
b) I've got Street Dance class tonight and am not free for home visits or violations
c) This time I want the cash up front
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:03, Reply)
A few ripostesa) You're gay enough for twelve. You're a squad.
b) No worries, just fill him in on your calendar when you've got space to fit him in.
c)
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:06, Reply)
That is one of the better gay jibes I've received on B3taand you hardly know me. I feel strangely honoured
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:09, Reply)
Why thankyou.I heard that calling you a bendosexual was the done thing around here so I joined in to look cool. Is it really just because of the dancing?
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:14, Reply)
I've got no fucking idea why it is, to be honestBut I'm sure if you ask around enough someone will provide you with an elaborate response laced with vitriolic, insecure relish
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:17, Reply)
It's fairly simpleEverything you post is bent
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:24,
Reply)
Aha, so THAT's itBut hang on. Everything you post is moronic and devoid of point or purpose, but no-one treats you like a total fucktard... oh
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:27, Reply)
Come on now DF that was a funny post.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:29,
Reply)
I'm surprised at you, MontyI'd come to believe that it took a more sophisticated level of humour to impress you
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:32, Reply)
I am a man of great contradictions...(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:37,
Reply)
I seem to have nailed it thereand caused upset, consider it your birthday gift.
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:32,
Reply)
The chubby tears of a b3tans impotent rage, they should bottle and sell that stuff(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:43,
Reply)
It could be called 'Eau D'ear'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:45,
Reply)
Tunisiadusty fly blown dump with locals who hate you with a passion. I am relatively well travelled and Tunisia had no redeeming features.
In Britain I would say Stoke-on-Trent. Street after street of boarded up houses and a breed of super-chav seems to have evolved (devolved?) there.
(
Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:48,
Reply)
Cheap and readily available drugs.next.
Edit - this applies to Stoke as well as Tunisia.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 16:48, Reply)
Yes, but if you are caught you will rot in a pit for the rest of your life(
Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:22,
Reply)
^ this ^i used to let flats there. you could have a 3 bed flat for £35 a week and we still couldn't shift them.
we had a freephone stoke number, as the locals were too pikey to dial 0161, and we all used to dive onto something else every time it rang. shudder.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:02,
Reply)
estate agent!who the hell would go on holiday to STOKE?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:11,
Reply)
Estate agents are the lowest of the low.I remember having an argument with Knight Frank after they refused to give me the time of day in one of their branches.
I did phone them a few days later and spoke to some pompus twat of a manager who was wearing mustard coloured cords when I was first in there to say that the house I wanted to sell had been placed with another agent who had agreed to pay 75% of the Country Life advertising and they'd produce a glossy leaflet to send to people they knew were looking for a place similar to the one I was selling.
The fact he just worked in a shop was lost on him.
They'd have copped for a massive commission as well, but seemingly scruffy blokes with a couple of days stubble and a pair of jeans aren't in a position to sell houses through their agency. Even houses that had stables, land and outbuildings.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:20,
Reply)
And you left that glamorous world for the legal profession?(
Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:24,
Reply)
I once attended a wedding in Upminster.It was truly repulsive in every way (apart from the rat-faced peasant who took it upon himself to keep me topped up with nuclear-strength bugle throughout). What a miserable place.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:01,
Reply)
260+ replies and only one oblique reference to Milton Keynes?Joking aside, the Bogside end of Londonderry is a pretty scary place to be if you sound as English as I do. Closer to home, Bedford is a distinctly depressing place to stay overnight at short notice.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:28, Reply)
In Bedford, I'd sleep on my mate's couch.It also has some very good Italian restaurants, and the Beer festival is next week.
Otherwise, you are essentially correct.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:38,
Reply)
To be fair, the place did have a few good restaurants and some good boozers which impressed meI think it's just the fact that every night I was there, the streets seemed to be rammed with scantily clad proles staggering out of the Wetherspoons on their way to some grotty nightclub.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:43, Reply)
You are not wrong.I prefer the wellie. Out of the way and stonking good beers.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:49,
Reply)
Yes, it was indeed the Wellie I fell in love with, during my sojourn thereTop boozer with superb beers. Sitting in there, you could almost believe you were somewhere other than Bedford. Is that where this beer festival is being held?
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:57, Reply)
Calling it Londonderry for a startmight be a risky venture 'round them parts.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:41, Reply)
Yep.Especially when half the walls are daubed with the slogan "YOU ARE NOW ENTERING FREE DERRY."
Say nothing, turn around and walk the other way before anybody asks where you're from...
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:44, Reply)
Here are some places I have likedDublin
Milan
Sydney
(
Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:51,
Reply)
Lytham St Annes.It's where people who can't get into Morecombe go to die.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 18:13, Reply)
« Go Back | Reply To This »