Whatever looks tasty in the co-op for £3.27

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:36, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

JIZZBOX!
How are you?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:38, Reply)

Tired, no car today as someone else needs it, also soggy around the peripheries
The heating's been whacked up and I can go get food in a bit, so it's all good? How goes it meester Al?

Sorry that sounded terribly dull, I mean I'm honda according people with my bitches and cunting their sisters to fuck and glitter and magic sparkles and stuff. Yeah
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:44, Reply)

I got a new mattress today!
I'm looking forward to going to bed tonight. I might go do lots of exercise so I'm super tired early so I can enjoy my mattress as much as possible.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:48, Reply)

Ooh exciting times :). You're only allowed to use it as a trampoline when mrs Al's not there or you'll be in trouble
HURRY UP 1PM I'm fucking hungry
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:51, Reply)

wot 'appended to the rest of your name?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:50, Reply)

I got bored of it
Wot appened to yours?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:53, Reply)

I updated it to reflect trufax

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:55, Reply)

Ooh laa laa it works :)

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:10, Reply)

It's all the Tory cutbacks
But in real terms she's still beckyjsbx.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:14, Reply)

That's a very precise figure.
Forgot your cards?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:39, Reply)

Yup, for I am a massive spastic

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:54, Reply)

Don't worry
I too, am a spaz.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:55, Reply)

It's like some sort of strange Ready Steady Cook-esque challenge
Is Ainsley "I'm a massive cock" Harriot going to be waiting for you at the Co-op, and watching you to see how close you can get to £3.27 before you punch him in the face?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:48, Reply)

I find that a tad unlikely, but I'll totally tell you if he is there

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:55, Reply)

Greetings, young Beccles.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:56, Reply)

Hang on
If she was Becky-letters before, do we just call her Letters now?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:58, Reply)

I'm sticking with Young Beccles.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:59, Reply)

Or jizzbox

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:59, Reply)

Seems like a fair compromise

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:01, Reply)

Or something that I think would get my legs broken
So I won't say it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:02, Reply)

I'm unlikely to ever meet her
But will refrain just in case.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:04, Reply)

Ello cuntflaps

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:29, Reply)

Alright darlin'
Gonna be at DG's bash?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:30, Reply)

Yeah, fancy a spot of face punching?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:36, Reply)

Alright treacle?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:12, Reply)

Part of me hopes he is
That he reads b3ta, and happens to know exactly where you work. I think part of me's going to be sad in a few minutes though when it doesn't happen. Damn imagination.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:56, Reply)

Still no job then? Boredom can do terrible things to an over active imagination

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:14, Reply)

Nope, still massively unemployed
And the applications I'm doing have deadlines that are still a couple of weeks away. As a result I watched 3 films yesterday, and even resorted to going for a jog. I don't like what I'm turning in to.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:28, Reply)

I'd crack at 4 new pence, the shiny-faced wanker.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:55, Reply)

I'd probably ask to put it on his debit card

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:57, Reply)

I'd probably slash his eyeballs with a sharpened credit card.
Then rub salt and lemon juice into them.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:59, Reply)

Because he's black and spoke without your permission?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:01, Reply)

and because
if he can get his head that shiny then why the devil did he do such a terrible job with my shoes, damn his eyes?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:07, Reply)

And he made a right old hash of singing
"King of the Swingers" from the Jungle Book. Last time I throw one of THEM a coin.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:09, Reply)

Well, an unsharpened one, anyway.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:15, Reply)

Can't See, Won't See

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:01, Reply)

Haha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:05, Reply)

The last time I was at Soho House (full of cunts - to be avoided) he was coked off his fat flabby tits. Wanker.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:02, Reply)

You should have asked him to say 'Awooga'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:04, Reply)

Hang on
Is this just a bit of 'all black people look the same' racism?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:05, Reply)

Yes.
Then tell him how sorry you were to hear about him and Dawn French splitting up.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:06, Reply)

And then ask him how he thinks he's going to beat David Haye next month

(Bazongaloid, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:10, Reply)

And how it felt getting to play Shaft AND appearing in a Star Wars film

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:12, Reply)

Ask him about his on-screen chemistry with Bill Cosby
and what it was like making 'To Sir with Love'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:17, Reply)

And ask him if Mel Gibson was a mental case back when he made Lethal Weapon

(Bazongaloid, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:19, Reply)

Then ask him
how he gets those sachets of microwave rice he sells to be so tasty.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:28, Reply)

And what it was like to be the Fresh Prince of Bel-air

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:29, Reply)

Tell him you and your wife first danced together
to 'It Started With a Kiss' so it's always been a very special song for you, and that you'd like to thank him.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:31, Reply)

Tell him that you also, had a dream

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:32, Reply)

Hahah that's a good'un, Bobbo.
Add that you were really sory when he was shot and that 'we're not all like that - I've got a Bob Marley CD at home'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:33, Reply)

And ask him how he can run such long distances
And get his teeth so white.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:10, Reply)

Ask him for dancing lessons.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:15, Reply)

I should have asked him to jump off the smoking area of the roof terrace.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:07, Reply)

BECKETT!!!
Alreet luv
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:06, Reply)

Alreet so m'love?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:28, Reply)

they've finally put the heating on in this place,
so I am no longer mauve and goosebumpy
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:39, Reply)