ill squeeze your boobs instead then

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 20:28, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

I hear we've become TALK.
Welcome to the fold. I hope you realise you're going to have to undergo a breast exam to make sure you're suitable.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 20:33, Reply)

Evening Applebite

(Bazongaloid, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 20:35, Reply)

Evening Al.
What are you doing in on a Saturday night?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 20:36, Reply)

I've been sorting out my finances
I'm so motherfucking rock and roll. I now have 150 pounds to last me the rest of the month.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 20:40, Reply)

Fucking hell al,
I wish I could lead that kind of life, instead of getting trashed a lot and seducing young men into my bed.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 20:42, Reply)

I'll give you some tips when I next see you.
I may have a can of lager now.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 20:43, Reply)

I seduced my housemate's best mate last night.
Got him into bed then went: "just so you know, I'm not going to have sex with you." And went to sleep. This is becoming a nasty habit with guys I don't actually like.

I'm getting ready to go out. Guess what I'm drinking.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 20:47, Reply)

HAHAHA! That's fucking cruel. I love it!
I bet he was so gutted. DId he actually stay and try and have a cheeky grope while you were asleep or did he get up and leave. I'd have more respect if he just left.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 20:49, Reply)

I've done it to four or five different guys now, when horrifically drunk.
I'm horny all night, then I just reach that point where I WILL go to bed to sleep and nothing is going to stand in my way. I really need to stop it.

He stayed. He had his arm around me when I woke up, and he's just text me to ask if I'm still going to this house party I'm getting ready for. I'm going to forget to reply until it's too late.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 20:53, Reply)

Do exactly the same thing to him tonight.
If you can get him to stick around for say, four nights without so much as touching his cock, I will buy you, errrrrr, three drinks at Davros' bash.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 20:55, Reply)

As much as I love the thought of getting three whole drinks off you
I can't, since he's really good friends with all my housemates, so he's round all the time and I really don't want to make things awkward.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 21:02, Reply)

You don't think they are currently going to be awkward?
I think they might be a little awkward. I think he's got the hots for you.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 21:03, Reply)

I am the master of un-awkwardness. I need to be, the sort of stuff I get up to.
But I am not a god. There's only so much I can do.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go to a house party where I will probably be spending a large amount of time with another guy who desperately wants to get into my knickers, and just won't stop telling me just that.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 21:06, Reply)

Hope you enjoy it

(Bazongaloid, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 21:08, Reply)

sexface is going to be there?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 21:10, Reply)

dont joke about stuff unless you are happy for me to grope you when i see you
Roots has only just forgiven to me :P
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 20:36, Reply)

I'm happy for everyone to grope me.
Just so long as you focus it on my right one.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 20:39, Reply)

is the other one malformed?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 20:40, Reply)

Nah, they're both awesome.
The left is still a little delicate though.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 20:41, Reply)

The right one is always the best one
Actually I've forgotten which one of mine is the most pert. I need to go and look.
EDIT the left one is slightly bigger but the right one is perfectly round.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 20:42, Reply)

My right one is bigger than the left.
That's why I got the left one pierced to even it out.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 20:44, Reply)

I knew a girl who had one boob really obviously bigger than the other
i know all women are slightly asymetric, but this was quite extreme. And very amusing for all of us since it gave us as an excuse to stare at her tits, which were rather nice.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 20:46, Reply)

I know a girl like that too

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 20:47, Reply)

This is only slight,
I can tell from looking, but no one else can. You can only really tell from having a cheeky squeeze.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 20:48, Reply)

I think one of mine is bigger than the other.
But only slightly.
( girlinthehole, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 20:52, Reply)

We're going to have to all grope each other at the bash, to see if everyone has one bigger than the other.
All in the name of science, you understand.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 20:54, Reply)

Agrees.
In a room full of geeks, this is advisable.
( girlinthehole, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 20:56, Reply)

Excellent.
I predict extremely thorough results.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 21:03, Reply)

I predict a riot in Kings Cross
All the sweaty handed virgins reading this will storm the pub
(Bazongaloid, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 21:05, Reply)

*thinks*
*goes and checks too*
( girlinthehole, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 20:44, Reply)

my right is bigger

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 21:12, Reply)

I'm liking the way this thread is going

( broadsword, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 20:45, Reply)