Today
I had my IUS replaced. It hurt A LOT. I am now drinking wine and watching Mr The Empress play Ass Creed 2.

This useless information was brought to you by The Empress, (current) Queen of Pain.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 21:36, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Ass Creed 2, the successful sequel to Ass Creed: Backdoor Ninjas.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 21:38, Reply)

My doc tried to get me to change to one of those.
After reading up on the internet I say fuck that shit. I'll take my chances with the pill. Not that I have to worry about that now.
( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 21:40, Reply)

so it IUS one of those mad things
that hovers under your skin waiting to intercept spunk? I like to imagine it involves nanobots with nanoguns
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 21:45, Reply)

I think I'm getting confused with an IUD.

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 21:46, Reply)

Nope, you're right.
IUD is the coil made of copper, IUS is the plastic version full of spunk-rejection hormones.

Total fuckers to have inserted, but then again it lasts 5 years, so I think it's worth the half hour of hideous pain and few subsequent hours of discomfort.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 21:49, Reply)

anything that avoids the awkward scrabble to try and find condoms

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 21:52, Reply)

Basically, yes.
No remembering to take pills, and no expense (free on the NHS)
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 21:56, Reply)

I'm very good at remembering to take the pill so I'd rather not go through the pain.
Plus now my eggs will be all manky and shriveled.
( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 21:53, Reply)

No way
Some women's bodies (ie mine and three of my friends') reject them violently, and the hours of pain and profuse bleeding go on until you have the fucker taken out.
Be careful.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 22:01, Reply)

This is my second
(first taken out, second whipped straight in).
It hurt like bejeezus, but it's ok now. I'm also self-medicating with lots of wine, so feeling a lot better than I did 5 hours ago...
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 22:13, Reply)

I think I'm getting confused with an IED.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 21:49, Reply)

An improvised explosive device?
Now that does sound painful
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 21:53, Reply)

It would guarantee no pregnancy EVAR
Also: no womb, legs or pulse. But no baby is definitely the most important part.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 21:55, Reply)

Anal sex is the best form of contraception

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 21:45, Reply)

Nope.
The best form of contraception is an asparin, held between the knees.*


*Unashamedly nicked from the Reduced Shakespeare Company.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 21:46, Reply)