1. I don't have enough work to do to keep me in my office until midnight ,
seven days a week until the New Year

2. I'm not sliding inexorably towards barkruptcy again. One day I won't be able to wriggle out of it and then the 'leaving a paid-for house to my daughter when my inevitable untimely demise removes me from the earth' plan will have failed.

3. I definitely won't, in an attempt to escape the stress, pressure and arse-aching boredom of my futile existence, blast my cerebellum into outer space this evening.

4. TalkTalk will definitely surprise me by actually supplying me with internet and television by the time I get home tonight.

You see, Shaximinimus, THAT'S how it's done.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 8:25, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

Fuck me you're a moaning auld cunt
You were lower than the bottom the ocean the other week when you couldn't see your babby and you were through with birds!
The babby doesn't need a house but I'm sure you'll find a way to leave her one.
Drugs, meh, you love em, you'll take em.
Work, fair dooz, that sucks.
The only real bad thing here is the TalkTalk situation.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 8:28, Reply)

And he's got a fecking hot not my girlfriend.

( girlinthehole, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 8:31, Reply)

I KNOW!!!!
^ in the style of Sybil Fawlty
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 8:33, Reply)

Take them to court
Argue that in the modern world a connection to the internet is a basic human right. Equate TalkTalk to the Nazis. Get a huge payout. All your problems solved!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 8:31, Reply)

But I'm not a TalkTalk sympathiser.
I don't understand the analogy.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 8:35, Reply)

I lolled at "outser space"
He could moan that his spelling has become as bad as mine.

edit: cunt.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 8:33, Reply)

It's the worst of the four, it really is.
I flipped out at a nine-year-old Indian, his supervisor and then the billing department on Tuesday, endlessly repeating my tale of woe in ever-increasing levels of agitation. The result: 'you should write a letter to Head Office'.

I truly knew what it feels like to have lost the will to live.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 8:33, Reply)

Talk Talk actually drove me to tears with frustration when I was with them.

( girlinthehole, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 8:34, Reply)

I had to grab the phone off my dad really quickly once
He was on the phone to Virgin Media and I could see by the perspiration and huffy breathing that he was seconds away from saying the word 'twat'.
More accurately I knew he was going to say "Listen, you twat, you..."
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 8:36, Reply)

Have you tried turning your router on and off?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 9:05, Reply)

Hahahah

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 9:07, Reply)