About four this morning.
We were watching tele in the front room when two pissheads knocked on the window and said they could complete the rubik's cube sitting on the coffee table. Told them to do one and closed the blinds, next thing you know they've smashed all of said windows. Had a bit of fisticuffs outside, not angry about that but the idiot in the flat above called the cozzers. Now there's a whole load of hassle that no one wants. Rubbish.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:15, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

You are MrBigStuff
AICMFP
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:18, Reply)

Who do you think you are?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:19, Reply)

Some kind of superstar

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:25, Reply)

How many windows got broken?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:22, Reply)

There are four windows, split in half though so technically eight.
They smashed the four top ones. We think they did the first by accident whilst just trying to bang on it and then got carried away. I thought it was quite funny to be honest.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:26, Reply)

It doesn't sound very funny.
But what I do need to know, is COULD they do the Rubik's Cube, or were they telling fibs?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:32, Reply)

I'm struggling to see the amusement myself
But I suppose they are Barry's windows, he's freely entitled to find it funny if he wants
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:35, Reply)

Well I'm annoyed that the police are now involved, because it was nothing really and we had a go at sorting it ourselves.
Well as good a go as four lads stoned off their tits can give. It's just unnecessary hassle as the old bill are all cunts and by default are going to make the process as long and drawn out as possible.

And judging by where they attempted to hide from us (behind a bus stop that we watched them run to) I reckon no, no they could not do the Rubik's cube.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:36, Reply)

I don't understand what you'd NOT want the Police to investigate and charge
Those who put your windows in though?

Yes, it's a bit of hassle, but if it stops this sort of thing happening again, surely it's worth it?

Unless the 'swift justice' you and your housemates dealt could be deemed excessive and you've been nicked as well?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:38, Reply)

Barry posted yesterday how much he dislikes coppers. I'm not a fan of them either.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Because it's a bit of harmless fun, it's something I'd do whilst pissed.
The only thing we were concerned about was having to pay for the replacements ourselves, but our landlord said we're fully covered and they've already been fixed. That's the end of the matter for me, it's just one of those things. Grassing is for utter cunts anyway.

They got nicked last night, because the person in the flat above gave a statement about the whole thing. It took our flat repeating "no, go away" for about an hour for the officers that came to give up on trying to get us to give statements. But we've been told we have to go down to the station tomorrow now.

Like I said, for me all I cared about was having to pay for the windows, we don't so I don't give a toss about the lads that did it. We had a bit of a set to, gave them a bit of a kicking (although I inevitably got floored because I always get floored) and it's done and dusted in my opinion.

The police cause endless complications because EVERY last one of them is an utter, utter cunt.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:47, Reply)

I used to know a really really hot police woman.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:50, Reply)

er dude
isn't that your sister?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:55, Reply)

Nope, she's a lesbo and I'm not bert so have no need to have a "deep and meaningful" relationship.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:56, Reply)

that's exactly what someone who WAS bert would say
hmmm.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)

It's my sister that's in the police.
:((((((((((((
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:00, Reply)

oh
oh dear
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:01, Reply)

She's on their fast track programme.
She is flying through the ranks faster than a black man 'down the stairs' at Brixton nick.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:04, Reply)

she wouldn't arrest you would she?!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:06, Reply)

She's my 'get out of jail free card'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:09, Reply)

If you think smashing someone's windows is "a bit of harmless fun"
you're staggering dangerously close to the bottom of the cunt ladder yourself, chap.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:51, Reply)

We all know this already
did you see that photo of him on the set of Quadrophenia
(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:53, Reply)

I would never deliberately do it myself.
And I hardly condone it. I just don't see what bringing the police into the situation will achieve besides needless hassle. Ya dig?
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:53, Reply)

I understand why it's a pisser for you. Of course.
But off the top of my head:

-because the person upstairs might have been scared (all they know about it is some windows breaking then a load of blokes fighting, and no matter your opinion of the gavvers that is what they are supposed to be there for)
-because them being nicked might stop them breaking some other poor fuckers windows
-because if you needed to pay for the windows on insurance then you'd need a police crime number.

Oh, shit, I'm being serious again. Long week. Sorry.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)

quick
tell us some Harry Potter facts
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:02, Reply)

There aren't any.
It's a work of fiction.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:08, Reply)

that's our badger :)

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:11, Reply)

Fact 1: it is fully legal to repeatedly kick the face in
of any adult you see reading a Harry Potter book on the London Underground. It is also legal to flamethrower queues of people dressed as wizards outside West End bookshops in the middle of the fucking night waiting for a midnight book launch.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:15, Reply)

So true, you had to post it twice.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:18, Reply)

It gets truer with every posting.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:21, Reply)

I quite like it personally
it's a cliche but it did encourage people to read
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:23, Reply)

That's a very specious argument.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:25, Reply)

Why?
It was hardly the best written book in the world, but it was engaging and interesting.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:29, Reply)

It's the jump from that
to claiming that it encouraged people to read.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:32, Reply)

Can you have degrees of specious-ness?

(Cave Duck, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:34, Reply)

Yup, 'Psychology' is one.
ISN'T IT, CHOMPY?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:35, Reply)

THAT'S VERY WITTY
and the sort of thing a Scientologist would say.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:37, Reply)

Don't see why not.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:37, Reply)

I actually thoroughly approve of them.
They are at least British and nowhere near as lame as Twilight etc. Were I ten years old today, I'd love them. It's the surrounding hoo-ha that I despise.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:34, Reply)

^ this I agree with
people buying adult-cover edition. If you want to read a child's book, go for it but stop pretending a cover makes it different
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:38, Reply)

That was actually worth posting twice Boyce.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:24, Reply)

Fact 2: Russell Howard is a massive Harry Potter fan.
Russell Howard is a massive cunt.
Therefore, by association, the fictional character 'Harry Potter' is a massive cunt. Both of them have problems with their eyes.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:20, Reply)

And you're gay.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:02, Reply)

I've told you before
It's not gay if I don't wear lamee while I'm inhaling cock.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:07, Reply)

You posted that in such a gay way.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:41, Reply)

As my partner reaches the cusp of the menopause,
her body doesn't always respond in the way it once did, despite my best efforts (by which I mean snoring on the sofa whilst she watches a Johnny Depp film). We therefore have, on occasions, needed to give nature a little assistance. KY jelly isn't the greatest stuff in the world and we were pleased when we discovered something which seemed a little more refined. However when the time came, no matter how much turning and twisting we did, we couldn't get the lid off and ended up throwing the stuff away.

That's the last time I'm buying Rubik's Lube.
(Cave Duck, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:10, Reply)

despite my best effort
I laughed
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:13, Reply)