We have had all our IT kit stolen overnight.
When did you last suffer from murderous rage?
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:08, 155 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Last night
When I nicked loads of IT kit but stubbed my toe on the way out.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:10, Reply)

officelol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:11, Reply)

Git.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:13, Reply)

That's fucking inspired.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:45, Reply)

This sounds remarkably co-incidental
post-contractor laptop to me
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:11, Reply)

And to me. Police are looking in to it.
I haven't been this angry ever before. I have nothing to do until new kit arrives so I am using my iPhone to moan to you lot.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:13, Reply)

You own an iphone?
then you deserved it
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:13, Reply)

Haha
I recently told someone they couldn't turn on their new iPhone because they weren't smug enough.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:14, Reply)

yeah but
like them or loathe them (i love mine. it has a pink case), they have succeeded in getting everyone to say "iphone" instead of "phone". clever marketing.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:19, Reply)

Not everyone
There are those of us who hold out against such things.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:23, Reply)

but.... but....
your post above says iphone! you even did it properly, mr iPhone.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:26, Reply)

But that's because it was in reference to an iPhone in the story
And in Badger's story. And that's how it's written.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:28, Reply)

yeah yeah
it's a river in egypt, old buddy old pal.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:31, Reply)

Don't get the iPhone 4 apparently that's shit. I'm sticking with the 3

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:24, Reply)

I love my iPhone 4
Much better than the 3 I used to have.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:24, Reply)

I thought the reception on the 4 was really shit?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:27, Reply)

I've had a couple of dropped calls
But that's more down to the building I'm in.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:28, Reply)

The world trade centre?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:30, Reply)

Hahahahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:45, Reply)

I believe that's all mostly horseshit.
The great thing about replying absolutely on image, marketing and form over function to get sales is that you generally end up much more at mercy of critical reviews, accurate or not.

*checks cutlery draw for 10 kilospoons*
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:34, Reply)

Well, only when talking about iPhones.
It's not like we call all phones "iPhones"

I do see what you mean though.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:30, Reply)

that fact pisses me off so much it is untrue
that is the one thing that makes me hate people with iphones.

"oh a message, let me just check my sony ericsson w810i!!!!"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:59, Reply)

What happened to him in the end?

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:13, Reply)

He's found a new career
as an ebay powerseller
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:14, Reply)

a powerseller of illegal porn
(unless i've got the wrong guy)
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:15, Reply)

don't judge everyone by your own standards!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:23, Reply)

For your information Miss Swipe I don't watch porn
it reminds me of my complete lack of sex life
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:28, Reply)

well at least you won't think the next lucky mrsdracula
actually LIKES being fisted in the guise of fingering/sodomy/bleaching her hair until it almost falls off her head. you can always tell men who've watched that little too much porn!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:30, Reply)

That all sounds a bit brutal

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:37, Reply)

a touch exaggerated maybe
but whilst i couldn't care less if my bf watched porn, too much porn is also a Bad Thing!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Nothing until the police specialists have fully examined the machine

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:14, Reply)

It might take a while
i'm sure the Donkey Porn Division of the Vice Squad are up to their elbows in nasty grot.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:18, Reply)

8 weeks they reckon

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:19, Reply)

About four this morning.
We were watching tele in the front room when two pissheads knocked on the window and said they could complete the rubik's cube sitting on the coffee table. Told them to do one and closed the blinds, next thing you know they've smashed all of said windows. Had a bit of fisticuffs outside, not angry about that but the idiot in the flat above called the cozzers. Now there's a whole load of hassle that no one wants. Rubbish.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:15, Reply)

You are MrBigStuff
AICMFP
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:18, Reply)

Who do you think you are?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:19, Reply)

Some kind of superstar

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:25, Reply)

How many windows got broken?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:22, Reply)

There are four windows, split in half though so technically eight.
They smashed the four top ones. We think they did the first by accident whilst just trying to bang on it and then got carried away. I thought it was quite funny to be honest.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:26, Reply)

It doesn't sound very funny.
But what I do need to know, is COULD they do the Rubik's Cube, or were they telling fibs?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:32, Reply)

I'm struggling to see the amusement myself
But I suppose they are Barry's windows, he's freely entitled to find it funny if he wants
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:35, Reply)

Well I'm annoyed that the police are now involved, because it was nothing really and we had a go at sorting it ourselves.
Well as good a go as four lads stoned off their tits can give. It's just unnecessary hassle as the old bill are all cunts and by default are going to make the process as long and drawn out as possible.

And judging by where they attempted to hide from us (behind a bus stop that we watched them run to) I reckon no, no they could not do the Rubik's cube.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:36, Reply)

I don't understand what you'd NOT want the Police to investigate and charge
Those who put your windows in though?

Yes, it's a bit of hassle, but if it stops this sort of thing happening again, surely it's worth it?

Unless the 'swift justice' you and your housemates dealt could be deemed excessive and you've been nicked as well?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:38, Reply)

Barry posted yesterday how much he dislikes coppers. I'm not a fan of them either.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Because it's a bit of harmless fun, it's something I'd do whilst pissed.
The only thing we were concerned about was having to pay for the replacements ourselves, but our landlord said we're fully covered and they've already been fixed. That's the end of the matter for me, it's just one of those things. Grassing is for utter cunts anyway.

They got nicked last night, because the person in the flat above gave a statement about the whole thing. It took our flat repeating "no, go away" for about an hour for the officers that came to give up on trying to get us to give statements. But we've been told we have to go down to the station tomorrow now.

Like I said, for me all I cared about was having to pay for the windows, we don't so I don't give a toss about the lads that did it. We had a bit of a set to, gave them a bit of a kicking (although I inevitably got floored because I always get floored) and it's done and dusted in my opinion.

The police cause endless complications because EVERY last one of them is an utter, utter cunt.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:47, Reply)

I used to know a really really hot police woman.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:50, Reply)

er dude
isn't that your sister?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:55, Reply)

Nope, she's a lesbo and I'm not bert so have no need to have a "deep and meaningful" relationship.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:56, Reply)

that's exactly what someone who WAS bert would say
hmmm.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)

It's my sister that's in the police.
:((((((((((((
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:00, Reply)

oh
oh dear
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:01, Reply)

She's on their fast track programme.
She is flying through the ranks faster than a black man 'down the stairs' at Brixton nick.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:04, Reply)

she wouldn't arrest you would she?!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:06, Reply)

She's my 'get out of jail free card'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:09, Reply)

If you think smashing someone's windows is "a bit of harmless fun"
you're staggering dangerously close to the bottom of the cunt ladder yourself, chap.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:51, Reply)

We all know this already
did you see that photo of him on the set of Quadrophenia
(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:53, Reply)

I would never deliberately do it myself.
And I hardly condone it. I just don't see what bringing the police into the situation will achieve besides needless hassle. Ya dig?
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:53, Reply)

I understand why it's a pisser for you. Of course.
But off the top of my head:

-because the person upstairs might have been scared (all they know about it is some windows breaking then a load of blokes fighting, and no matter your opinion of the gavvers that is what they are supposed to be there for)
-because them being nicked might stop them breaking some other poor fuckers windows
-because if you needed to pay for the windows on insurance then you'd need a police crime number.

Oh, shit, I'm being serious again. Long week. Sorry.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)

quick
tell us some Harry Potter facts
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:02, Reply)

There aren't any.
It's a work of fiction.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:08, Reply)

that's our badger :)

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:11, Reply)

Fact 1: it is fully legal to repeatedly kick the face in
of any adult you see reading a Harry Potter book on the London Underground. It is also legal to flamethrower queues of people dressed as wizards outside West End bookshops in the middle of the fucking night waiting for a midnight book launch.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:15, Reply)

So true, you had to post it twice.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:18, Reply)

It gets truer with every posting.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:21, Reply)

I quite like it personally
it's a cliche but it did encourage people to read
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:23, Reply)

That's a very specious argument.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:25, Reply)

Why?
It was hardly the best written book in the world, but it was engaging and interesting.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:29, Reply)

It's the jump from that
to claiming that it encouraged people to read.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:32, Reply)

Can you have degrees of specious-ness?

(Cave Duck, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:34, Reply)

Yup, 'Psychology' is one.
ISN'T IT, CHOMPY?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:35, Reply)

THAT'S VERY WITTY
and the sort of thing a Scientologist would say.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:37, Reply)

Don't see why not.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:37, Reply)

I actually thoroughly approve of them.
They are at least British and nowhere near as lame as Twilight etc. Were I ten years old today, I'd love them. It's the surrounding hoo-ha that I despise.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:34, Reply)

^ this I agree with
people buying adult-cover edition. If you want to read a child's book, go for it but stop pretending a cover makes it different
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:38, Reply)

That was actually worth posting twice Boyce.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:24, Reply)

Fact 2: Russell Howard is a massive Harry Potter fan.
Russell Howard is a massive cunt.
Therefore, by association, the fictional character 'Harry Potter' is a massive cunt. Both of them have problems with their eyes.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:20, Reply)

And you're gay.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:02, Reply)

I've told you before
It's not gay if I don't wear lamee while I'm inhaling cock.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:07, Reply)

You posted that in such a gay way.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:41, Reply)

As my partner reaches the cusp of the menopause,
her body doesn't always respond in the way it once did, despite my best efforts (by which I mean snoring on the sofa whilst she watches a Johnny Depp film). We therefore have, on occasions, needed to give nature a little assistance. KY jelly isn't the greatest stuff in the world and we were pleased when we discovered something which seemed a little more refined. However when the time came, no matter how much turning and twisting we did, we couldn't get the lid off and ended up throwing the stuff away.

That's the last time I'm buying Rubik's Lube.
(Cave Duck, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:10, Reply)

despite my best effort
I laughed
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:13, Reply)

So the only bit of IT kit you've got left
Is full of smut and currently with the police?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:19, Reply)

Yep. Except for some shitty Skype headphones and a printer. All but 1 ofthe laptops big screens and the server taken

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:21, Reply)

That is a right cunt.
Stolen to order do you think, or just a general 'theft'?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:23, Reply)

General theft. Another company in the same building was done too.
I had only had my nice new laptop for 8 weeks or so. Insurance are waiting for a full police report (not just the crime number) before they approve the claim. Could take weeks.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:26, Reply)

I'm surprised people steal IT equipment
it's so cheap nowadays and becomes obsolete very quickly. I wouldn't bother buying any electrical equipment 2nd hand.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:32, Reply)

Smackheads will steal anything.
Some of the kit is pretty high end for office stuff. At least 99% of our data is ok. Clients have been very understanding too thankfully.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:56, Reply)

When an estate agent 'phoned me
At 7.40pm on a Friday night. I answered his question and then asked him if he realised what time it was.
"It's about twenty to eight, sir."
"Yes, and do you not think this is a slightly unsociable time to be calling?"
"No sir, it's only unsociable if it's outside the hours of 8am-8pm."

I was fucking livid.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:31, Reply)

I would have punched him.
Have also just realised that when they prized open my desk they stole my passport. Cunts.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:33, Reply)

Oh that really is the height of cuntitude.
Still reckon it's contractor-laptop guy or just a really unpleasant coincidence?
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:36, Reply)

Much as I would like to blame him I expect it is coincidence
Just had to cancel a business meeting in Holland on Tuesday. Quickest you can get a replacement for a stolen one is one week.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:39, Reply)

If you are in London
you can do it in a day, even for a stolen one, I think. Unless the rules have changed drastically in the last couple of years. It will take all day though, you have to go to the London office in St James' for interview.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:46, Reply)

This is correct. Lot of queueing involved, though.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:02, Reply)

It's a week - the gf has checked.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:51, Reply)

yeah, it does seem to say that.
I have actually done it though, and in fact done it for someone else's passport (the ex-wifes after the cleaner nicked it) so it might be worth actually calling the passport office in St James direct to double-check? (unless that's what your doris has already done of course)
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 17:05, Reply)

It will be closed by now but I will give them a call on Monday

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 17:18, Reply)

I'm not one to suffer from rage
I do get angry sometimes, mostly at myself but life's too short and if I was angry about every cunt out there I'd just be a giant hate-filled man.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:33, Reply)

I am a short overweight hate filled man.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:34, Reply)

....bob?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:41, Reply)

No,
he's a 'a short overweight ignorance filled poofter'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:51, Reply)

ignorance schlong
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:10, Reply)

Oh, a very long time ago.
Probably towards the dick on my course who pretends to be "ill", drinks vodka in lessons and tells everyone about it and fucks 15 year olds. He didn't revise for a test, said "I'm going to complain to the course coordinator, this is not fair, it was too much to learn" so I yelled at him for about 10 minutes about how everyone else had revised and he shouldn't get special treatment for being a flapping douchebag.

He was a little shocked. I'm scary when angry.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:49, Reply)

angry pissed right up
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:50, Reply)

That too.
You really should have seen me later on on my birthday. Or not. I would have tried to make out with you and everyone I saw.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:52, Reply)

Damn. Should definitely have hung about for that.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)

I made out with my gay best friend as a present
I can't believe I'd forgotten that. It's something I've wanted for ages and I just don't remember it :(
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:59, Reply)

This reminds me of something that happened in first year
to clarify accidentally made out with a gay guy who got hard
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:09, Reply)

hahaha amazing

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:24, Reply)

I was hugely amused

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:28, Reply)

Clearly you're attractive to both sexes irrespective of their sexuality.
I think you should be more proud than amused.
(Cave Duck, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:46, Reply)

I was amused
because he is very gay, and was a bit horrified the next morning when he remembered.

I think it was less my intrinsic attractiveness and more the fact that we were both drunk
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 17:00, Reply)

We're going to have to spike all her drinks with water at the bash.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:57, Reply)

:(

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)

If you get drunk you will punch me
then Applebite and Kitty will blame me for it with their mental logic.
Then I'll have to glass you all.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:03, Reply)

No , you've had your allocation of punch.
Unless you say something nasty to me again. Which to be honest is a given...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:05, Reply)

I'll just stand in the background, watching and laughing into my Pot Noodle sammich.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:05, Reply)

I'm going to try and meet kitty on the train down,
if she says sammich I'm going to sit in a seperate carridge.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:07, Reply)

are you going to sit in the same carriage though?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:07, Reply)

What does he mean, here?
I think it must be WoW slang.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:10, Reply)

it is beyond my ability to decipher

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:10, Reply)

That's because you're an idiot.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:16, Reply)

Are you coming into town in this 'carridge' of yours, this evening?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:23, Reply)

Nah I've given up that idea,
I'm just going to stay in and watch TV alone while stuffing curry in my mouth with my hands.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:24, Reply)

I have to say, that's something beyond my current technological abilities.
(the TV, not the curry bit)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:36, Reply)

Yes, he's dining at Clarriages.

(Cave Duck, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:26, Reply)

Very good punnery

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:42, Reply)

Hahaha and barbituates.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)

I wish I could do this with impunity

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:03, Reply)

DO IT.
It'll make him feel better.

Who gets with 15 year olds anyway?
...shit.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:07, Reply)

Haha I meant
I wish I could pretend to be ill, drink vodka in tutorials and confront college when I've done no work for an exam.

No fucking fifteen year olds though thanks. I've already had a massive attack of guilt for kissing a fresher a few days ago
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:09, Reply)

you kissed a fresher?
hahahhaha
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:10, Reply)

I know
bloody eighteen year olds. She looked older than me though
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:15, Reply)

Oh.
No, don't do that. That'd be twattish. Do not approve.

Fucking freshers would be awesome. Fresh meat.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:11, Reply)

It might be twattish
but I currently don't even take what I'm entitled to in terms of college help.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:16, Reply)

I am so very sorry to hear of this.
I fear I am unable to assist in any way, but that is a right old fucking nightmare isn't it?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:49, Reply)

Thanks.
Finally online properly at home using the gf's machine. Just going to have spend money I hadn't planned (and in part don't have) replacing it all asap - the insurance could take weeks just to approve the claim.

Even if they don't pay out I am still going to have to replace the kit so I may as well start.

Pissed off about my passport too.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:54, Reply)

I'll bet. You poor sod.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 17:14, Reply)

Ordered my replacement and saved 10% (190 quid) by googling lenovo voucher codes which helps!

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 17:17, Reply)

Well that's something I suppose.
Mind you, won't you just get less insurance money because it cost less?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 17:21, Reply)

No - I have to submit the receipt for the one that was stolen rather than the new one.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 17:23, Reply)

My answer to this question involves TalkTalk
and is more tedious than a night down the pub with Hanky so I'll spare you.

I am far more excited about seeing Roky Erickson. This is a major event to me. Major. Do you understand?

Major.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:51, Reply)

I have no idea who Roky Erickson is
*ducks flying object*
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 16:54, Reply)

You should look him up on your compu... oh. Sorry

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 17:02, Reply)

Ha bloody ha.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 17:05, Reply)

I couldn't resist.
He was the singer with Texan psych-rock legends the 13th Floor Elevators. They were the first band to use the term 'psychedelic rock' and made some demented but groundbreaking records in the mid-late 60s.

Erickson then went mental as his gigantic LSD use conspired with the inherent lunacy in his family (his mother is a fucking fruitcake): he ended up in a max security loony bin and has been fucked ever since.

He recorded some excellent new waveish/punky rock stuff in the late 70s but was effectively a vegetable until 2008 when his little brother took control of his life and made him take medication.

The end result is a tour that would have been inconceivable two years ago.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 17:18, Reply)

I am a big fan of medication - thinking about it I might have a diazepam now to cheer myself up.
Although they nicked some of those from my desk too - luckily I have stashes everywhere.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 17:21, Reply)

Me too.
Roy Castle's best track, if you ask me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 17:23, Reply)

Ha ha ha ha
He was right - it's what you need
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 17:24, Reply)

You still about Mont?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 18:00, Reply)

he's just ignoring you

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 18:02, Reply)

What a git.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 18:03, Reply)

Two minutes ago
Me: The form is on the Intranet under X link and then X page
Response: Can you advise where on teh Intranet the form is, pelase?
( Kroney, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 17:23, Reply)

Can't you get the second line to rhyme with 'Update'?
I'm not sure about the 'metre' either. The tune's quite catchy though.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 17:50, Reply)

Haha
be graceful in defeat.
( Kroney, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 17:55, Reply)