I'd like funding to research and write my book.
'Sausages of the World' by Montgomery Peregrine St John Boyce, and its companion 'Around the World in 80 Mustards'.

I'd sell the two as a 'bundle deal' on Amazon. You'll see your money back within a year, no sweat. Plus by then Nigella Lawson will be desperate to shag me - I will gladly do so, and I'll pinch some of her husband's 'art' collection whilst she's sleeping in post-coital bliss.

EVERYONE WINS. Apart from that cunt Saatchi.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 21:47, 5 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'd buy that.
EDIT: Especially if you titled it 'Boyces Bumper Book of Bangers'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 21:52, Reply)

Monty's MASSIVE Mustards.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 21:54, Reply)

'Tards I Have Loved'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 21:55, Reply)

Hands over POTD to Monts.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 22:02, Reply)

I couldn't possibly accept.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 22:04, Reply)

Please, I insist.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 22:06, Reply)

pff
to both
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 21:56, Reply)

I really do want to write that one day.
It will be 'humorous and informative'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 21:54, Reply)

I'd definitely buy it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 22:22, Reply)

I would actually buy these.
Especially the mustards.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 21:53, Reply)

Any initial outlay return will go into Jamie Oliver's charity on this one.
Oh, I didn't mention, there is a german saussage resturant on my way into work in Farringdon, right near Smithsfield. They do about 10 types of saussages eaither with potato or 'pretzal'*, with sourkraut and all the condiments a man can ask for. Looks alright, will try it some time.

* I don't get what that means in this context.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 21:54, Reply)

Let me know when you want to go.
I'll be there, notebook in hand.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 21:55, Reply)

Maybe in a couple of weeks? We'll sort it out when we're both free =)

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 21:59, Reply)

*shakes hands*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 21:59, Reply)

Nigella Lawson Clarissa Dickson Wright
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 21:55, Reply)

Been there, done that.
I showed her some novel uses for a 'shooting stick'. She was 'game' etc.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 21:57, Reply)

Makes an amazing noise when she cums too - who'd have thought it?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 21:59, Reply)

Like a dying stag.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 22:00, Reply)

sure wish I hadn't just imagined that

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 22:00, Reply)

Was it you who nobbed her in the House of Commons?

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 22:01, Reply)

That was me, yes.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 22:01, Reply)

Thought so.
Pure class.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 22:09, Reply)

cl
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 22:23, Reply)

If I were less lazy I'd get you to recommend me a sausage
and a mustard and get them RIGHT NOW. But instead, my 'dumped' food is grape nuts
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 21:57, Reply)

Oh I'll 'recommend you a sausage' alright.
When the fuck did I turn into Sid James?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 21:59, Reply)

year or so ago?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 22:00, Reply)

g-hya-hya-hya

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 22:00, Reply)